How Could I.......????????????

[nolagirl]

My baby is in trouble and I didn't even know there was a problem! My girl Nola will 7 on June 6th. On Saturday while Daddy was brushing her he ran the brush across the brown patch on her butt just like Rotties love when all of sudden she began bleeding, oozing brownish thick nasty stuff and pus. I won't allow the local emergency vet near her after a prior bad experience and was afraid a long trip would due more harm so I kept cleaning her butt and made an appointment first thing with the vets I trust. She had been kind of quiet for about week before but I had chalked this up to winter doldrums. She didn't lick her butt, scoot, wimper or give any other sign of her distress though in hindsight I realize she had been taking longer to go poop and I had thought she was enjoying the outside after a long, cold and wet winter. One night a couple of weeks ago Daddy commented on a really bad smell but it was gone shortly and hasn't returned. I thought it was gas after all she is a Rottie and they do pass stinky gas. Well my baby has an infected and impacted, and now, a ruptured anal gland.

The second part of my failure is in a small bump on her shoulder that started a couple of months ago and was smaller than a flea bite. It did grow but I was fooled by the fact that it went up and down in size even hourly. Bad Bumps don't get smaller after all! Her annual was due in June anyway so I thought I'd have the vet look then. Since we were at the vet Monday I asked her to examine it and she did a needle aspirate and called back within minutes of our arriving home from her office. My baby has a mast tumor and we're devastated! Our personal experiences with cancer have been very negative in both our 2 and 4 legged people. 6 out of 7 gone and the 1 is back at the doctor because she continues to show signs of activity in her bloodtests (she's the 2 legged kind).

Nola is our 3rd Rottie in 20 years and our 2nd rescue and the 3rd to get cancer. She is especially dear in that when she came to us she was a terrified, neurotic mess who feared her own shadow. She and I worked together for over a year and half just to get to the point where she trusted us and no longer had accidents. She became the Rottie she should've been had her childhood been a happier one. The love had paid off and she trusted me and now I've failed her too. How could I not know she was in such distress??? I'm her mother and I should've known something wrong! She is baby, best friend and closest companion and still I missed it. We're torn about how to deal with the cancer since we've watched so many loved ones go after it aggressively only to suffer great pain, illness, indignity and lose the battle anyway. I wouldn't put my worst enemy through what I witnessed of cancer treatment let alone someone precious to me. I hope my baby will forgive me for my failure.

[nolagirl]

After writing my first post I was loving Nola and found a new lump in direct line down from the first on her leg near the armpit. The vet went over her well at the exam and we've gone over her many times since and I swear it was not there a day or two or go. Even after nearly a week of antibiotics she shows no signs of spunkiness. Last night also was the the first time since we've been together and I've laid on the floor that she didn't coming running. She was on the chair right next to me and she didn't get down and burrow in. Finding this new bump and how quickly it showed up plus her not responding normally at all, as she had even with the anal sacs so infected, that any treatment option we might have taken is no longer in our control. I still can't believe the new bump could appear so fast. I've got a call into the vet to get her in before the next scheduled appt. and for pain meds. If the vet confirms my worst fear I hate the thought of letting go but I hate the thought of subjecting her to more pain and indignities even more. I don't want to say goodbye again. In hindsight, always 20/20, I should have understood better. I know also that she finally became the dog she was born to be, a Rott, proud, brave, loving and not afraid of her shadow and a baby who learned to love people. She even discovered what a TOY was and in return she gave us the greatest gift of all, love back. I hope I'm wrong, that I'll be strong if I'm not and that maybe someday I'll forgive myself for not "listening" to her better.

[observer]

She will forgive you, of course. Don't beat yourself up over this. Even the little bumps we can see can fool us about what they are. Do a search here on mast cell tumors... I know others here have dealt with it.

Hindsight is always 20 20. When I had my Annie, and she was a few weeks past her 11th birthday, I came home from a few days out of town, and noticed, with some amusement, that my VERY reserved girl was making funny little happy noises in her throat as she sat in front of me getting petted. First, and last, time that ever happened. That night, she slept by my bed. That was not unusual, she did that my first night back every time I went out of town. But, as it turned out, she slept there EVERY night thereafter for several weeks.

In retrospect, I now know she knew something was wrong, but hid it from me in every other way. Six weeks later, in surgery, they found not only the large tumor they had seen on ultrasound, but many other smaller ones. Until about three days before that surgery, there was no outward sign of how ill she really was. Even the surgeon said he would have had no idea how sick she was on the inside from looking at her from the outside.


You and your girl will be in my thoughts.

[hokisteph5]

I'm so sorry, but don't beat yourself up too much. Otherwise the "what if" scenarios can eat you alive emotionally.

If you think it would help, read through some of the other threads started recently. Know that you're not alone in making medical decisions about your dog's cancer treatment.

[Buggy]

That's so strange nolagirl - my girl Tess also had an impacted anal gland and we found her cancer the same time. Please don't blame yourself for not catching something earlier, these dogs are well known - as you know - as being silent in their pain. With Tess's gland I kept hot wet compresses back there until things were drained and then irrigated the hole and kept antibiotic cream there until healed. It will heal. Her vet had recommended removal of the anal glands at a later date. Also cancer treatment has come a long way in the past few years, but only you will know what is best for your baby girl. I send you a ~*hug*~ and please keep us posted on Nola.

[bliss7373]

Nolagirl,

My heart goes out to you. Please don't be too hard on yourself. It is so easy to torture ourselves with "would have, should have, could have" types of questions. I've done it too. I recently lost my girl to bloat - I saw it within 15 minutes of her last meal and we broke land speed records getting to the emergency vet office, but she was just too far gone. I cannot help but ask myself whether a few minutes would have made the difference. But you and I both know that gets us nowhere.

Search for information on mast cell tumors. Consider getting a second opinion from an oncologist. I wish you the best.

[nolagirl]

Thank you everyone. Having posted in the wee hours and in what could best be described as "my world turned upside down" frame of I mind I reread my posts and was certain that you would see only those parts that are said of anger and not the part in which she had showed no "real" signs of distress. Rott lovers themselves are an amazing breed!

The vet just called and has moved her appointment up, is prescribing Rymadyl (I know there is concerns there but at this point I'll try anything to have her respond better!) and I'm to add chicken noodle soup (not low sodium) to try and stimulate her thirst. Then it's wait for the appt. to check new lump and hopefully a little sleep for this Rott Momma. I can't imagine losing her! What would I do if I didn't have a least one Rott hair to pick out of my dinner every night as we have for the last 25 years.

Thank you again so much for your prayers and ours go out to all of you as well! Nola and Nola's Momma

[BeauandShan]

Dont beat yourself up, our dogs are known for hiding their pain from us. My 11 yr old Beau has OS and apart from the tumour on his shoulder you wouldnt think there was anything wrong with him.

She knows how much you love her.
You and Nola are in my prayers

Deb (Beau and Mabels mum)

[Carol4dogs]

This is my first time posting, and I want to offer some support with regard to Mast Cell Tumors. They are not a death sentence, to be sure, and I have an 11 year old Weimaraner who just had two removed last week. This is her third time having this kind of tumor removed. The tumors were aspirated prior to removal and the tissue was sent out for analysis. MCTs are graded from 1 to 4, 4 being the most serious. Luckily, in our case, the two removed this time were both grade 2, so we are not doing any follow up treatment. This time, with the tumor that I was most concerned about since it seemed to go from soft to rock hard and the size of my fist almost as I watched it, prednisone was injected directly into the tumor a week prior to it's scheduled removal in hope of reducing its size due to its location in the thigh of the dog. This worked and the tumor became much smaller and softer prior to removal. As a result, much less tissue had to be removed and the dog recovered beautifully with no impairment to her movement at all. It has been a week since the surgery and one would never guess that this dog had surgery of any kind, based on her activity level. She goes back next week for removal of the stitches. MCTs are very prevalent in Weimaraners, Boxers and Goldens. I'm not certain about Rotties. Oh, and BTW, this particular dog has had bloat four times....yes, 4 times, and is still with us! Can we say she has nine lives....at least! In case you're wondering how I happen to be on this Rottie discussion board, I also have Rottweilers...two of them, a brother and sister three years old. I have some very good links to Mast Cell tumor information and was trying to post a link previously, but lost the entire post, so am now re-doing it. If you would like my links, just E-mail me privately and I'll gladly give you the info. I just don't want to take a chance on losing this response to the original poster again.

[Marley55]

Please don't be too hard on yourself. It is something any and all of us could have missed.

I am guilty as well. Jaxx had a mild limp that I passed off as arthritis since he is getting up there. We were scheduled at the vet for his annual visit so I help off on the appointment since we were going in 2 weeks.

He was x- rayed and we discovered he has osteo. I was so stunned, he looks great, eating well, doing all his normal rottie stuff…just a bit of a limp.

She knows how much you love and care for her !

[Sheenagirl]

My next door neighbor's boxer had a mast cell tumor that started off about the size of a flea bite. They had it removed (about two years ago). He is doing just fine.
Take this one step at the time. Have the vet aspirate the second lump. Could be a swollen lymph node from infection?
Stop kicking yourself. Use the energy to help your Nola in whatever way you can.
Keep us posted.
I will keep Nola in my thoughts and prayers...

[jlaack]

with regard to Mast Cell Tumors. They are not a death sentence,

I agree with this. No cancer diagnosis is good news, however mast cell tumors can often be removed and the patient can do okay. I would also seek and opinion and treatment options from and oncologist over your regular vet. Since you are in Oregon, I'd very highly recommend OSU's oncology service.

[NikkiDeland]

My dog Isaiah had a mast cell tumour removed a couple of months ago (he's not yet four years old). Luckily it was a grade 2 and fully excised. The only course of action for him now is follow up appts. with our vet to make sure it doesn't grow back. They truely aren't necessarily a death sentence.
Don't beat yourself up, I too didn't realize it could be cancer, especially when it would appear and disappear just as quickly. I was shocked when my vet aspirated and told me she didn't like what she saw.
I hope things go well for your girl.

[seoultrader]

I'll prolly get flamed for this but that's ok.

You got nothing to be ashamed/guilty about. It's a dog. Dogs don't always show obvious signs of distress.

Will it forgive you? Come on, this is a silly concept at best. It's a dog. It doesn't have the ability to "forgive". You're a good person, obviously willing to sacrifice a lot for a dog (which I honestly probably would not since I seem to have a different view on pet/owner relationships than most folks here) so don't for a second feel bad.

Whatever happens, it was the way it was programmed by nature (and who knows, your pooch may beat the odds and live to be 15, right?It's like we all got got that one relative who smoked 3 packs a day and drank like a fish while eating Big Macs all day but lived to be 80+.

[nolagirl]

Thank you everyone for your support, advice or kind words and prayers! Nola's anal sac infection has cleared up completely so at least she is no longer suffering silently in that respect! She has even briefly showed her old spark and playfulness on a couple of occassions but then "collapses." Even short walks are followed by long periods of lethargy. Our vet, an absolutely wonderful gal!, is also concerned about her blood panels and the tiredness 23 1/2 hours in a day. Another bump has appeared in the last week as well so that's 3 now. At least Nola is eating her meal (I'm adding a little boiled chicken to prescription food) but treats she used to demand! no longer interest her even peanut butter. I guess it's see what the next set of blood tests show at this point. No Seoultrader I wouldn't flame you for your views on dogs. Many see it that way also. As for myself I learned very young you count on but two things to love you without pain, a grandmother you saw once in awhile and those special 4 legged folk who greeted you with a happy face and tail wag and comforted your tears daily with constant love in their hearts. I've yet to have one turn on me with cruel intentions in their heart and the desire to inflict pain which is more than can be said for the 2 legged "greater" creature. In my soul that fact keeps them on a status equal to the 2 legged people I found to love as well. Just please don't fault us for seeing more in these wonderful creatures.