How Could I.......????????????

[poohbearsmom]

nola,

One must remember how stoic a dog can be. They do not usually show outright signs of discomfort unless things are very bad. Case in point; my recent experiences with Pooh (who turned 10 on Saturday).

Three weeks ago I was convinced I was taking her on her last car ride to the vet. I had mentally prepared myself that she would be PTS that day. I had called her breeder sobbing as I was driving in.

Leading up to this painful decision? Over the past year, Pooh slowed down gradually; spending more time in her kennel, wandering aimlessly in the yard, no interest in the ball, etc... She ate well, and lounged well, and all her body parts were working, so I chalked her behavior up to antiquity.

Three weeks ago, she took a nose dive. She didn't want to get up. She didn't want to leave her kennel. She didn't even want to go off the porch to evacuate, she stopped eating, she was listless and lethargic. This downward spin took 3 days from what I perceived as "normal old age" to "I want to die" behavior.

I took her to the veterinarian, we decided to try two things; Previcox for arthritis, and Doxycycline for tick borne infection (her platelette count was perilously low and we wanted to rule this out). After 12 hours on the arthritis meds, I had my Pooh back. We still need to run another CBC to check her platelette count, but for the time being, she is a happy camper and is doing things she hasn't done in probably two years or so. We have more time together and she is bouncing off the furniture again.

The moral to this story? You cannot feel guilt over your Nola's condition. You cannot have a "redo" on your past decisions. Move on and enjoy the time you have with your Nola. Seoultrader said some very rational words in his/her post. If your Nola is feeling better, she is feeling better, and I'm sure she is happy about that, but expecting her to "forgive" you is attaching a moral ideal onto an animal without morals.

I'm glad your Nola is feeling better for now. Again... enjoy! the time you have with her and make as many fond memories as you can.

[nolagirl]

Thank you Poohbearsmom! By the way you have some beautiful babies! Nola is at least not dealing with the pain of the anal sac infection anymore. I know Nola doesn't "forgive" in the way we think of it nor would she think I had deliberately let her suffer. I had no way of knowing other than symptoms that could be attributed to a just laid back day. The initial post was written during a time of worry and yes wondering what I had overlooked. That she was so sick I couldn't believe that she HADN'T shown me but time heals that fear. There were subtle signs but I know I didn't ignore anything obvious. She had suffered a lot before coming to us and that I might have overlooked the obvious and thus caused her further pain was very difficult. Everyone talked of the smell I was certain I must overlooked that but except for a brief moment, minutes, she didn't even stink. That should have been an indicator itself since Nola has never been the typical Rott and only rarely had the stinky farts. My dogs have always been very dear and given me a great gift and I will always treasure the 2 and 4 legged special folk in my life! Even after 25 years of Rotts they never fail to astound me. This is a wonderful website and I've found a lot of information, new details of care, etc. that you don't find elsewhere and comfort. This website is a blessing and a tribute to the Rotts that inspired it. Thank you again