HELP - My best friend has osteosarcoma

[Sam's Mom]

Laurie...here is a poem for you and your "friend". Very poignant...

From Friend to Friend
by Karen Clouston

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.

[rottie40]

laurie, no one knows your dog like you.
I too have lost a part of me when I lost my beloved Scrumpy, you WILL know when the time is right and you WILL know when he has had enough. Stay strong, I am sending healing thoughts to you, because you need them right now - I feel your pain - I share that pain, it is so physical. Sams Moms poem is so touching. You will get through this these exceptionally special dogs are never with us for long. Feel priveledged to have shared your life with Lucas - some people never experience that, and although it nearly kills you when they go, what a great time you both had!! Much Love Jacky

[Xena's Daddy]

Hi Laurie,

Haven't heard from you in a while, hope you're doing O.K...............(?)
I know the pressure is on right now...............everyone is giving you advice and hoping you'll do the right thing, as am I. But as Rottie40 has said, 'no one knows your dog like you', so only YOU will know when the time is right. I only hope & pray that you are able to read his body language when he tells you that he's 'ready' & DO NOT let your poor little boy die at home, of 'natural causes'. For, in order to die 'naturally' from this disease, things have to get really, really, ugly for him first..........and that would be an absolute sin!!! Then it would be too late to ever make things 'right' for him......AND you!! I would hate to see that happen to you........I know that I would've never have been able to live with myself had I let Xena get to that point. As it was, she had gotten pretty bad during her last 24-hour period.....and when I realized that she was quickly declining and would not come around again, I got her to the Vet as FAST AS I COULD!! And it was KILLING me the whole time I was getting ready that morning!! I just couldn't believe the time was at hand..........(I STILL can't believe it.......)

Anyway, I just approved the 'proofs' for her laser engraved urn that I ordered.........it looks absolutely beautiful!! It is an egraving of a portrait of her looking very happy!! I feel comfortable with how I have chosen to memorialize her. I only hope that it comes out as good as it looks on my screen here.

I also chose a very fitting poem to be engraved on the back. It's written from Xena's perspective & is 'signed' with 2-paw prints at the bottom. I would like to share it with you, as it is fitting for you & Lucas as well. BTW, Sam's Mom posted a very nice poem also, I had not seen that one before. I almost wasn't going to post mine after I saw it, as I do not want to bombard you with poems (LOL......), but I would really like to know what you think of it!!

Here goes:

THE LAST BATTLE

If it should be that I grow weak
and pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand;
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years;
What is to come can hold no fears.
You don't want me to suffer so
The time has come, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
But please stay with me til the end
To hold me close and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree,
It was a kindness done for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering, I am saved.

Please do not grieve that it was you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two,
Through the years;
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

[caseygina]

that is beautiful, i am crying at work.

[abbiesdogs]

Im crying too, what a lovely poem for such a lovely girl
abbie

[lucasmom]

Hello my rottie friends-
Thank you, thank you, thank you...you are all such beautiful, loving people. You have renewed my faith in mankind with the kindness and concern you have all shown Lucas and myself. The poems were beautiful and really spoke to my heart. I was very moved by them and am writing this message to you through my tears as my Lucas lays beside me on the sofa...his favorite place to be!

I did bring him to the vet today and he feels that Lucas still has a quality life and his chest X-ray is clear. No spread to his lungs...thank God. The vet feels that his demise will be when he eventually breaks his leg once the cancer weakens his leg more. I asked my vet if he felt that Lucas was in a lot of pain and he responded that if Lucas is able to walk, run, play, go for rides in the car, eat, drink, and sleep without difficulty, then he is still enjoying life. Today we went to McDonalds and got him a double cheeseburger...God he loves those. Of course...mommy would never have one of those :)

He had a good day and we took my daughter and her boyfriend on a picnic. Lucas loved all of the new scents at the park. Sooooo...today was a good day. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. I did ask my vet if he would come to my home to put Lucas down once the time comes. He said that he would do that, although it would have to be worked into his busy schedule. I think that it would be easier for Lucas, my children, and myself if he could be put to sleep in his own home, while laying on his sofa. We will bury him in our yard alongside our former dog, Coco, who was a chocolate lab. My husband will bury him for me. It will be undoubtably one of the most difficult and emotional times for all of us.

Lucas will turn 8 on 4/28. We are going to have a huge birthday party for him. All of our neighbors want to attend as well as my family!!! Lucas is such a popular dog...everyone loves him. Heaven will be richer with him someday. I will keep you all posted as we progress. I am thinking of all of you also and praying that we all make it through this difficult time together.

A special thank you to Jacky...thank you for your kind words. Stay in contact with the rest of us on this thread.

Mike...I think of you every day and pray you are doing well. The poem for Xena is just lovely. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.

Love to all - Laurie

[moondog]

Originally Posted by lucasmom

I did bring him to the vet today and he feels that Lucas still has a quality life and his chest X-ray is clear. No spread to his lungs...thank God. The vet feels that his demise will be when he eventually breaks his leg once the cancer weakens his leg more. I asked my vet if he felt that Lucas was in a lot of pain and he responded that if Lucas is able to walk, run, play, go for rides in the car, eat, drink, and sleep without difficulty, then he is still enjoying life.

While I do agree with your vet's guideline on quality of life, I have to wonder if you really think waiting until he breaks his leg is in his best interest. Once that happens, he will not only be in excruciating pain, but at that moment he will have lost the dignity every dog deserves to die with intact. I can't imagine the logistics of it, either (you'll need to move him in order to get him to the vet, the bumps in the road during the car ride, etc.) I wouldn't wait that long.

I say this with much compassion, not only for him but for you, too.

[Anne]

I agree with moondog. I couldn't wait for his leg to fracture. Please let him go when his enjoyment of life is overtaken by his distress.

It is always better to be a day early than a day late in making that final decision, for the sake of the dog. It will prevent your dog from experiencing the excruciating pain of a pathologic fracture. A friend of mine has just been through a pathologic fracture with her osteosarcoma Rottweiler. It is a truly terrible thing to witness.

With my Sophie, I will make that final, heart wrenching decision when her pain is no longer under control. I couldn't ask her to go on when pain takes away her joy of life.

[TrinaJ]

I beg you to really think about what you are doing. My Magnum had osteosarcoma and it weakened his leg so much (together with the bone biopsy) that his leg snapped at 2am when all the vet surgeries were closed. This was only weeks after his diagnosis.

Please rethink this very carefully, i dont want you to go through the heartbreak that i went through knowing there was nothing i could do for 6 hours. 6 hours of watching my baby in agony, 6 hours of cursing myself for my selfishness, 6 hours of trying to make him feel comfortable, 6 hours of apologising to him. 6 horrible hours that i will regret for the rest of my life.

Trina

[jlaack]

The vet feels that his demise will be when he eventually breaks his leg once the cancer weakens his leg more.

If this is the vets opinion did he give you anything to give to him in case this happens until he can be PTS? The tramadol won't be enough and it is very difficult to transport a dog that has a broken leg even if it is your own.

I am glad to hear his lungs are clear, that is a good sign.

[Sam's Mom]

I, like Anne, agree with Moondog. "Really...really" think about the consequences for both you and Lucas if you let him go on till his leg breaks.

Originally Posted by TrinaJ

Please rethink this very carefully, i dont want you to go through the heartbreak that i went through knowing there was nothing i could do for 6 hours. 6 hours of watching my baby in agony, 6 hours of cursing myself for my selfishness, 6 hours of trying to make him feel comfortable, 6 hours of apologising to him. 6 horrible hours that i will regret for the rest of my life.
Trina

This post is an all too familiar story for too many who have come here....having the nightmare memory (and memories last a lifetime) of the excruciating life-end their beloved rottie experienced because of well intended efforts to have "more time".

You should also realize how difficult this was for Trina to share with you...please let her very hard learned wisdom guide you. {{HUG}} to Trina.

Laurie...PLEASE LISTEN...DON'T LET IT END LIKE THIS FOR YOUR LUCAS. He is depending on you to do right by him. You and only you have the power let him cross over peacefully with the dignity he deserves.

[observer]

Laurie,

Maybe it's just the way I am feeling today, but I cannot believe that your vet would essentially be telling you that the time to put him to sleep will be when his leg breaks. That's HORRIBLE advice, especially to someone like you who clearly is having trouble facing what's coming and wishes Lucas would just pass away at home.

It does seem that Lucas is doing reasonably well now, but I PRAY that he lets you know when it is time just as Xena did for Mike, BEFORE the excruciating, uncontrollable pain that will come from a fracture. Your vet won't have time to come to your house if that happens... you will have to put him in the car (how, I don't know) and drive him there, while all that time he will be in unbearable pain.

If he does give you the signs that Xena gave Mike, DON'T wait. If the vet can't come to your house, take him in. Do not let him suffer just so you can have it done at home. Lucas will not care where he is as long as you are there with him.

[Xena's Daddy]

Hey Laurie,

First of all, I'm really glad to hear that Lucas is doing well!! Thank God for that!!! Hopefully you guys can spend some more sunny days together!!

But secondly, I have to agree with........well, everyone!!! I too, cannot believe the Vet's advice was to wait until he breaks his leg!!? That's sounds like ridiculous advice!! As if OS is not painful enough, your baby boy doesn't need THAT for his final life's moments!! Especially if it happens in the middle of the night, like Trina had mentioned!! (Agghh....just the thought of it makes me cringe!!)

Everything that ran through my mind when I learned of Xena's inevitable fate was tormenting to me. For 2-months all I could do was think of all that this disease now meant for her. How long will she live? What will that time be like? How will she advance? Where will it metastize?? How will I know? How will she die? When will that be? Will anybody come with me to the Vet? Am I wrong for asking? What will I do with her remains? Where will I keep them? And on, and on, and on................

But the single-biggest fear I had throughout this whole ordeal was the thought that she might break her leg!!!!! That was the thing that tugged at my mind the most!!! I was SOOO scared that would happen, that's why I built the ramp & lowered my bed!! To do everything in my power to prevent such an awful tragedy for my good little girl!!

One of the things I am most thankful for now that it's all over, is that she never DID break the leg! (Whew!!) But I have to tell you, it was getting very close. The last week of her life saw her leg 'bending' to the inside!! It was getting more & more noticeable as her last week went on. At first, I wasn't even sure if that's what I was really seeing or not. I even brought her to the Vet to see if it was broken, which thankfully, it was not. But on the morning that I took her for her mercy, (One week ago today) I took a picture of her front-view before we left the house. Well, I couldn't believe what I saw when I downloaded the pictures..........It was DEFINATELY angled inward from her wrist down!! Probably like 8-10 degrees!!! I gently tired to move her wrist side-to-side when I got her in the truck, but it was still solid. But I'm telling you, another day or two & she would've been in some real trouble, pain-wise. I would not have been able to live with myself had that been how she spent her last moments....................

Please do not make that mistake, I would hate to see that happen to you!!
Your Friend,
Mike

P.S. I'm not suggesting to put Lucas to sleep 'right now', only you will know when it's 'right' to do that. But I am saying that if he gets to a point that he can't walk, get up on the couch, or eat, then I think it would be time.....and hopefully that's before he breaks his leg.........And if the tumor starts breaking through the skin, I would definately think it's time, regardless of anything else!!
Be well............

[jonesjoyful]

Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sure this is a very hard time for you.

And for those of you who have lost your friends to this awful disease, may peace be with you guys also......

Joy

[aprillovesherdogs]

Oh Laurie, I'm so glad that you have had all this extra time with Lucas. In my first post I mentioned that Matty went in for a repeat check when he started to limp in the front and back. He was in so much pain, but could still get around. I felt rushed into making a decision then and there because they said there was no hope. It has been almost 3 weeks since he passed and I've spent so much time trying to justify what I did. I have come to somewhat of a conclusion that what I did was right, because he would have been so shamed and depressed. The thought that ran through my mind was eventually seeing him trying to drag himself around in agony. I am finding relief in my decision because I spared him from pain. I am also thankful, even though I felt things went too fast, that I didn't have to rush to the vet in the middle of the night in an absolute panic. I was emotional and I'm sure he sensed it, but if it had been a critical emergency, my extreme distress would have made it a very "unpeaceful" end.

I hope this doesn't seem like another "two cents" being added, but your heart will ache more if you allow him to go on his own. Those poems were so true and heartfelt. I haven't cried for a few days so I needed them too.

Just keep treating him like a king. My Ansel (Gooby), who is almost 11, has benefited greatly from our loss of Matty. Everyday is "what Gooby wants, Gooby gets". He will get one doozy of a birthday party.

Take care and take care of yourself.