SLATE: When Should You Put Your Dog Down?

[mmgy]

When Should You Put Your Dog Down?
How to make a decision you never want to make.
By Jon Katz
Updated Tuesday, October 28, 2003, at 10:01 AM PT


Jack sells antiques in upstate New York; he's a pretty upbeat guy, but when a vet diagnosed his 12-year-old black Lab, Schuyler, with cancer of the jaw and told Jack the prognosis was grim, he burst into tears, so upset he had to call his girlfriend to come drive him and the dog home.

He called me later that night. Punctuated by sobs and silences, our conversation lasted nearly an hour. "I really don't know what to do," Jack said. "My friends say I should go to Penn or Cornell for chemo. My girlfriend says I should try alternative medicine, maybe something homeopathic. I can't bear to think of it. When do you put a dog down? How do you decide? I can't bear to lose him, but I don't want him to suffer."

We spoke three or four times over the next couple of weeks, Jack agonizing over the many options he was hearing about. The vet had urged him to euthanize the dog before Schuyler's condition worsened, but Jack had clearly decided against that. He was apparently going to put the dog down "when he was ready," and thought he wasn't ready yet. One evening, he said he'd talked to a friend and dog lover who'd told him that Schuyler would tell him when it was time to go, that Jack should watch and listen to the dog for cues. He asked if I thought this was the right course.

To be honest, I couldn't quite say what I was thinking. Each decision about the death of a dog is personal and different, dependent on context and circumstances. But if I had told him what I was thinking, it would have been this: Dogs are voiceless. They can't tell us when it's time to die, even if they were capable of such abstract thought. That's something we have to decide for them, wielding our love, compassion, and common sense as best we can.

I didn't look to my wonderful yellow Labs to tell me when it was time for them to go, one diagnosed with congestive heart failure, the other with colon cancer. The responsibility and decision, it seemed to me, was mine, not theirs. I put them down before they endured any prolonged suffering—my own choice, not a recommendation for others.

In the context of the most personal decision any dog owner ever makes, there are few universal truths. Jack ended up keeping Schuyler alive for two months, until the dog's jaw had swollen to grapefruit size. When he called me again, I told him it seemed time, and he put the dog to sleep. Later, he called this the most wrenching period of his life, so painful he'd decided never to get another dog. I told him that was a shame.

It is the nature of dogs to live much shorter lives than ours—just eight years, on average—and it has always been my belief that to love and own a dog is to understand and accept that along with loyalty, love, and devotion come the ever-present specters of grief and loss. This is as integral a part of the dog-loving experience as going for walks.

There's no Idiot's Guide for this question, no handbook. The many points of view are strongly held. One vet I know says a dog should be euthanized "when it can no longer live the life of a dog—and only the owner knows when that really is." A breeder says she puts her dogs down when "their suffering exceeds their ability to take pleasure in life." A trainer I respect believes her dog should live as long as it can eat.

Another friend and dog lover says she always knows when it's time: "when the soul goes out of their eyes."

I'm not among those who believe dogs have souls, but I know what she means. There is a certain visceral "dogness" about dogs, an interest in people, food, squirrels, passing trucks—whatever—that's part of their individual spirits. When that disappears, it does seem the "soul" of the dog is gone.

But I know other owners—a growing number, according to vets—who fight to keep their dogs alive as long as possible, at all costs.

Researching my last book, I visited an emergency-care clinic that had six dogs on respirators at a cost of nearly a $1,000 per week per dog.

Their owners, the vets said, simply could not bear to lose them. In the context of America's growing love affair with dogs—there are nearly 70 million owned dogs in the United States and nearly 10 million more in shelters—this seems to me a travesty, not only for the dogs but for the humans who've lost sight of the fact that these amazing creatures are animals.

Increasingly, we've come to see our dogs as human, childlike members of our families, companions that sometimes provide us with more emotional support than friends or spouses, more satisfaction than work, more support than we can find elsewhere. As a result, people are increasingly devastated by the loss of their dogs, more uncertain about how and when to put them down, more inclined to spend thousands of dollars on surgery, alternative cures, foods, and treatments that might prolong their lives.

As the owner of three dogs, I spend more than I can truly afford to keep them healthy and vigorous. But as my conversations with Jack reminded me, they are not people. Their lives and deaths ought not be conflated or confused with human losses.

To love dogs is to know death and to accept that there's never a time we are more morally obliged to speak for them than when they face the end of their lives.

*********************************************

Jon Katz is the author of The New Work of Dogs: Tending to Love, Life and Family. You can reach him at jdkat3@aol.com.

[Stubby]

Good read.. Thanks for posting that..

Gives one pause to think doesn't it...

[Brooke&Ryan]

Phew, that had the tears going. It's so true. It's one of the hardest things making that decision but sometimes it comes to that for a loved family member....

Brooke

[Sharon Marples]

This is very special and so true. People do need to remember that our dogs are animals and should be let go when it is right for them, not just right for their human families.

The last sentence says it all.

I think this deserves a sticky..............

[mmgy]

I have really had to struggle through this decision SO many times now, and I'm always so unsure.
I wanted to post it so that when I need it again, I'll know where to find it.

[Alaskan]

Great article. I just read it on the MSN news page.

I had my 17 year old siberian husky/samoyed mix put to sleep last fall because he was at the point to where he couldn't walk without falling over every few steps and couldn't control his bladder or bowels. It was a very difficult decision but one that I knew was right for him.

My father inlaw and his wife are under the impression that I hadn't done everything I could for him but unlike them I don't believe in forcing an animal to suffer to their very last breath just because I have issues in letting go.

You will know when it's time to put your pet to sleep.

[Major]

I moved this here. It seems more appropriate here.

[mmgy]

Thanks Major. I didn't think chitchat was right, but wasn't sure where to go.

[chivas]

That post has some very good points, though I dont agree with them all.
But the final point is that this is a very personal and heartwrenching decision and no 2 cases are the same.
My wonderful vet told me to take 3 things that Chivas loved to do and when she was no longer able to do them, then I would know it was time. She picked her time though, I cant talk about it because it is too raw but she let me know. I miss her terribly.
Kim

[brunie's mom]

As someone who had to make the decision for both of my dogs within 10 days of one another.....I know how hard it can be.

You really have to know your dog and be able to read the dog. Some people do not realize that pain can be shown in different ways...it is not always whining or screaming. Many dogs pant and are restless when they are in pain.

I have been boarding dogs for 12 years...and I have seen time and time again that people let their dogs suffer way too long. They cannot bear to lose their dog...so they keep the poor dog going. :(
It really is heartbreaking...and I wish they could see their dogs through my eyes.

I took two rolls of film of Bruno and Teddy just days before they were PTS...and now that I have the pictures developed...I can see the pain in Bruno's eyes. The white's of his eyes are showing, his ears are back...and he has a sad expression.:(

I think that a person must decide when it is time and your vet will also help you with the decision.

Gina

[frontierrots]

Here is my post on this subject

http://www.rottweiler.net/forums/sho...ht+to+die+well

[pazzo]

I like this article except for the part "not to be confused with human losses"

I lost my Nico in October of this year, it has been the hardest thing that I have ever gone through. I have lost family and it hurts, losing my Nico CRUSHED me! I come from a very close nit Italian family and I love my boy as much as any of them. Losing Nico was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. I know some people will argue this point with me, fine. I will say I have never lost a parent or a sibling but I have experienced death, my Nico was such an intricle part of my life, he was human-like to me and if it sounds wierd, I don't care.
As far as when to put him down, I promised to never let such a strong boy suffer, cancer had hit him so hard and so quick(within a week) my only decision was what time to take him. Nico still had his faculties but he was bleeding internally, so god made that decision for me, I could never had let him suffer for a second. It is a very personal choice that's true. One of the hardest to ever have to face.
Dana
ps...I am sorry to have posted 3 months after this thread started but I just found it. :)

[chivas]

I agree with you, Pazzo. Losing Chivas has hurt just as much as when my sister died and the fact that both Chivas and my sister died on the same day, 8 years apart made it much harder in many ways.
I love my pets as much or MORE then some people in my life and their passings can have the same effect on me. All loss hurts - doesnt matter if its a much loved dog or a person.
Kim

[Rajah'sMom]

I think of my pets as my children, but given the chance to save either my human child or my pet.... I think that is maybe what the article means. I think people who don't have human children can't understand how much more you love them than your pets. Don't get me wrong, lots of people think I'm crazy for spending so much money on the best foods and for having medical insurance for my dogs. I also spent a lot of money on Rajah's TPLO surgery last year, which she has fully recovered from and hasn't yet had any problems with the other leg. Heck, we love the dogs so much we won't leave them when we go on vacation-they go too. We couldn't stand to leave them in a kennel or with friends. I love my dogs and my kids, I just know the difference.

[mmgy]

If y'all don't mind, I'd like to post this here as well as the Rainbow Bridge. I'd like to see the two together: an essay for the mind, and a poem for the heart.
******************************
May I Go?

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and living light.

I want to go, I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too,
that's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

Author: Susan A. Jackson