House-mates with issues...

[RottiMomCT]

...OK, here's a new one...I think. My husband and I live on the lower level of his parents house, sharing the living room/kitchen/dining area (we have our own TV area and bathroom). What does this have to do with dogs, you ask? Here's the answer to that, along with my problem.

We are the 'parents' of a 2 1/2 yr old, neutered male Rottie, whose 'upstairs' family consists of, along with my in-laws and brother-in-law, 2 female rotties (both spayed, one is 6 1/2 yrs old, the other 5), a 6 yr old female lab/shep mix (also spayed), and a 4 yr old male rottie (neutered).

Tonight, after about 2 weeks of posturing by both male dogs and grumbling by the larger of the two (not mine), they decided to have a go at each other. Lots of posturing preceded this event, and luckily nobody was bitten. My boy was immediately put in a down-stay and the other male was moved to the other side of the room, told to lay down and he growled and snapped at my brother-in-law (who promptly smacked him on the butt - ).

My main concern is that my in-laws, who own this big galoof of a male, don't understand that this guy is running the show up there, and somebody is gonna get hurt! They keep saying that he needs to go back to class, yet making every excuse in the book as to why they can't go...and in the next sentence they tell me they would love it if their boy would listen half as much as mine does (mine has been thru novice obed and we're preparing for obed trials next year...their boy graduated basic obed but that's it).

Rarely do they take the dogs with them when the go out, which I feel gives them more of an attitude when it comes to the house - it's all they know and they'll do anything to protect it. Which brings me to another issue - they go bananas when someone comes to the door and will usually bark quite agressively at everyone, even those of us that live in the house. Upon arriving at home, I can be heard yelling to the dogs "Shut up - I live here!" which usually makes them stop.

My problem is this...how can I get them to do something about this big lug of a dog (he weighs 130 - 15 lbs overweight, but they don't think so!), besides continuing to buy books about dog behavior problems and reading them, then leaving them upstairs, praying they will read them too??? If I say anything to them, I can guarantee they cop a major attitude and tell me to stay out of it...which I would have no problem doing if *I* did not have to deal with the dog on a daily basis as well and if I did not feel that one of these days he's gonna bite someone - and if it's me or my dog - he's in major trouble!

Any and all responses are greatly appreciated! :)

[Judi W]

Well, I would say you have waaay too many dogs sharing quarters without a common master or common rules. You cannot unfortunately be in charge of how others manage their dogs, and if you are more or less a guest in their home, it is you who must adapt. I would suggest that you keep your dog in your own quarters and not bring him into the common areas as the disputes are most likely going to escalate. Even with additional obedience training, the two males are very likely to have issues with one another as your dog is becoming an adult and they are both beginning to occupy the same maturity level.

[RottiMomCT]

Thanks Judy...well, unfortunately, the in-laws are not the type of people to take the big butt-head for more training, even though they KNOW he's beginning to take over the house, even though they keep saying he needs to go back to class!

There are 4 dogs upstairs...and they only exercise and/or socialization they get is when they go out in the AM for potty, then back into the house for breakfast...then they lay around all day, then if they are lucky, out in the middle of the day for potty (that's all of 5 minutes!), then nothing until dinner...maybe a total of 10 minutes exercise a day...other than that, no real attention is paid to these dogs, and it makes me so darned mad... !

All I can do for now is keep the 'boys' separated, and keep buying Lottery tickets in hopes of winning a few million so I can pay off all my bills and buy my own big house!! ;) :D

[Judi W]

I thought that might be the case. One of the first steps you've made is accept that you will not be able to influence what they do with their dogs. So, that leaves you with what you can do, and that is to manage your own so as to minimize/eliminate conflicts. You will be much happier, when you accept that fact and just move on. Attempts to make them change what they are comfortable with will only lead to conflict between you and not just the dogs. Family harmony is important also.

Best,