Xena R.I.P. 10/9/00-4/8/08

[TrinaJ]

Mike,

I am so very very sorry.

May she rest in peace and fly hight with the angels.

~*hug*~

Trina

[Xena's Daddy]

Thanks so much everybody!! I wish I could say that it's getting easier now, buuuut not so much...........at least not yet.

So I picked up Xena today!! Well, her cremains anyway, as they call it...
But she is back at home where she belongs, which is exactly where she will stay for the rest of my natural life!! I actually feel a little better just knowing she's here with me again. There's just a little less emptiness in the house now. I have 2-candles lit, one on either side of the temporary urn they provided, been like that all night. Tomorrow will be a week already!! I will have them lit tomorrow night as well.

When I picked her up, it was kind of surreal.....they handed her to me in a nice sort of 'gift bag', which is all it was to me at first......until, of course, I picked it up. She's still kinda' heavy!! It was rather surprising, as I expected there to not be much weight involved at this stage of the game. But her weight really made it all feel so real again. When I left the cemetary office I walked over to this nice waterfall landscape they had with a statue on top, surrounded by green grass & nice plantings. I totally lost it............so I hung out there for about 10-mintues admiring the beauty of the whole thing, then when I was finally able to re-gain my composure, I got in my truck & drove home crying. (Never realized how hard that was to do.........)

When I got home I un-packed her & put her in her new place on my bookshelf. Then I went through the rest of the bag and found the hair clippings I had requested.......both the black AND tan!! (I was so worried they were going to forget!!) Seeing the hair really made me feel it again.....very heavy this time.......That was the hardest part of this day.

Anyway, time for bed. Tomorrow is her first 'anniversary'..................
MK

[Buggy]

Mike,
I am at work with tears in my eyes reading this post. How I wish I had thought of hair clippings, what a loving thing to do. I had kept ashes for Casar,Tess and Gretchen for years then moved back to where my parents are. When my Dad passed we scattered his ashes on the beach where he used to love to surf cast so one day I took my three pups and they joined him there. I sorely miss having them in the house though - when I would lift the lid on my cedar chest to get a blanket or sweater - I'd see their urns and say hello my babies. Mike my heart goes out to you and reading of your grief and sadness brings back a lot of feelings for me. I can tell you honestly it gets better in time - the pain - but for me it is never really gone. How lucky you were to have had each other. And you can be sure Xena knew how loved she was. I wish you peace for your hurting heart .
Joann

[caseygina]

Mike,
i too had thought about the hair clippings-but wasn't sure if it was something i should do myself or ask them to do? hang in there.

[Xena's Daddy]

Gina,

I had them do it.........I had thought of doing it myself, but then I realized it might feel like I was desecrating her. Not sure what I'm going to do with the clippings yet.....probably add them to the shadow box I want to make. I have to do something nice with them, they're such a valuable asset to me now!!

Tonight I'm going to stay home & watch all her puppy videos I took of her. I haven't seen them in at least 6-years!! I'm kind of excited to see them, I only hope there are as many as I think I remember taking. (?)



Joann,

I also spread my Dad's ashes on the beach where he used to go a lot. I always thought we should keep him in the family, but it was his wish to spend eternity at the beach. I had briefly thought of doing the same for Xena, as she LOVED our summer weekends on the boat & at the beach!!! There is a nice anchorage we liked to go to & swim around & play on the beach where I would've to spread her ashes. Which would've worked out really well, since I'd still be able to 'swim' with her on most weekends...........but I decided to keep her at home.

Anyway, thanks for the well wishes!! It's been one week ago today..........
MK

P.S. I can't believe it's been a week already???!

[warrior1]

I think it is wonderful you kept her hair clippings. You will be so happy you did in time to come. I brushed Warrior before he was PTS and kept that fur. Though it may sound a little strange, I clipped some of my hair off as well and that was with him as he was cremated. It made me feel a little better knowing a piece of me was with him on his journey. I guess we all have our ways dealing with goodbye's.

[Buggy]

Mike,
Those are wonderful memories of your Dad and Xena - keep them close. How I wish I had video of my dogs! Sometimes I regret letting their ashes go - I miss having a place to go to put a feather I found in the woods, or maybe the seasons first peony like I do for one of my boys who is in my parents yard. Some days I go to the beach to commune with my Pop or babies and there are tons of people there and I leave in a grumpy mood!
Enjoy your videos tonight!
Joann

[tla0126]

I hope watching the videos help bring back all the happy memories you had with Xena. A shadow box is a great tribute to your girl. It will make the memories of her last forever.

[peachesandchubby]

So sad, Im sorry for you and your pain, but just think your girl is pain free and running wild at the bridge...
Thoughts and prayers to bring you comfort are being sent your way...

[LORHEL]

I'm very sorry to hear about Xena, my thoughts are with you and your family. My girl is 8 right now, and I dread that day. Each day is a gift.

Xena is watching over you now until you meet again.

[Xena's Daddy]

Hello all, just wanted to post an update to Xena's thread.

I got her urn on Thursday night......it is truly a work of art!! I'm so very happy with my decision on how to memorialize her, I don't think anything else would've sufficed. The laser etching of her portrait looks SOOO good! And the poem on the back is written so beautifully. I lit the candles again (One on either side) and let them burn all evening.............

So at this point I've watched most of the videos I have of her.....I am SOOO glad I took so many!! To be able to sit back & watch her grow from a cute little puppy into a giant noble beast has really been a treat!!
I forgot how small she was! My cat was bigger than her......at first. But that quickly changed over the course of the 5-tapes I have of her!

I also forgot how active she used to be....jumping up off the ground like a maniac, running around the house in her little 'Rottie cirlces', around the table, up on the couch, back around the table, down the hall, back on the couch..........I forgot how much she used to make me laugh!! And now with the tapes, she still does!!

Anyway, I still feel like the house is empty.......but with her in her special 'box' now, I actually do feel somewhat better. Plus, I made a slideshow of her on my computer that is almost always on. Every time I look over in that direction, I see her beautiful face!!

Thank you everybody for all the well wishes & concern, it is truly helpful!!
MK

[abbiesdogs]

Hi Mike, I often wonder how your doing but I don't like to impose on Laurie's thread, I'm glad you've got so much film of Xena, I must take some more of my 2. I know the house feels so empty when one becomes none but maybe one day you'll find room in your heart for another bundle of black fluff. All the best.
Abbie

[Moosemom]

I know it's been a couple weeks since your loss but I'm a new member and just read your message about Xena. I had to put one of my other dogs down last May and can feel the heart break to this day. But I can also laugh at the silly things she did to make my life so much more fun. I told a friend that losing a dog is the one part of love that I hate. My 10 yr. old rottie now has cancer so I'm facing some tough decisions also...down the long road I hope. Please know you're being thought of...moosemom in NC

[Debbie Ervin]

Mike, I did the same exact thing with both my boys, Thor and Ceasar. They are both sitting on a nice piece of cherrywood furniture in the diningroom, and I have a 8x10 pic of them together also some smaller pics of them with the family. I also have a poem of the rainbow bridge there and a small book of Rotties. Each holiday a candle is lite on both their boxes and they have a stuffed animal for whatever occasion it is. Also put away I have hair and nail clippings(nails I collected when they would loose one), and also their collars and such that were important. They each had 1 stuffed animal they would lay with more then others and they are retired(no one is allowed to play with them anymore. I sat and collected pictures out of shoe boxes and albums for days and just looked at how beautiful they are and just what a special part of the family they always were and still are. I only brought myself to watch 1 video of Ceasars last Christmas with the granddaughter and I cried and smiled at the same time. Beautiful memories and we will always keep them memorialized in their home. Xena is home and there she will stay. Sincerely, Debbie Ervin

[BabyBrownz]

Mike,
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Xena was very fortunate, as were you, to have shared the life and love you had.

Her final resting place sounds beautiful and very fitting.
Take care and though Xena is gone she lives forever in your heart.

Godspeed Beautiful Girl!

~~~* Lynn *~~~