Cyrus, my baby boy

[PuppyLove]

You have always been there for me when I needed you. Every day for the last 7 1/2 years, you have been there, wagging your little nub and barreling into me, thinking you only weighed 10 pounds. You used to fit in the palm of my hand and grew to barely fitting in my lap. We used to hike in the hills and hang out at the barn, you rolling in the dirty shavings then running over excited to share, like you had discovered some new land.

Remember when I would garden in the yard. You always loved when I did, lying next to me in the sun on the grass, waiting for the next plant, because you would get the plastic pot to run through the yard with. You loved that and it always made me smile and laugh out loud, no matter how many times you did it.

We've been through a lot, you and I. Lots of changes and lots of places. But through it all, we were together. You were my one constant. When I went through my toughest times, you were my rock, lying so close you were a part of me, pushing into me as I cried harder and harder, letting me hang on as if you were the only thing keeping me together. And now you aren't here as I cry for you. I feel like something has broken inside and there is no fix for this pain. I wish I could change things. I wish you were still here.

Waking up this morning and not having you follow me to the bathroom crushed me. We had just moved to the new house I bought with the big yard for you and Roxy. All the plans I had for it, to make you comfortable, one story so you didn't have to climb the stairs anymore. And you only had one night in it before you had to go.

You hadn't been sick. You were always so stoic. The only sign something was wrong was that you were quieter than usual and didn't dive in to your breakfast like you normally do. I thought you were just adjusting to the new house. Only when I noticed you weren't right behind me like you always are, velcro dog, did I find you lying in the entry way. You struggled to get up when I called you and then you struggld to walk to me. It breaks my heart now thinking about how you wobbled down the hall to me, because that's what you always did. You always tried to please me.

I got you to the emergency room as fast as I could, but you had lost so much blood, baby. They tried really hard. I promise you they did. They gave you fluids and 3 bags of blood but coudn't get you stable for surgery. They came out to tell me you weren't doing well and that I should go back to see you. On my way back, the tech ran out to say you were going and I ran. I ran as fast as I could to be with you. I couldn't let you go by yourself. You didn't know those people. You needed me. I held you tight and told you how much I loved you and that you could stop fighting now. I told them to help you go and I stroked your head and told you to just sleep. Letting you go was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Baby boy, I am so sorry I couldn't help you. No one knew you had a tumor on your spleen. If I would have known, you know I would have done everything possible to make you better. All I could do, though, was help you stop hurting. I love you so much and miss you with everything I have. This house is so empty right now without you. Your sister keeps waiting for you to walk in the kitchen door.

You and I shared a special bond that can never be replicated. All my love to you in your new special place. Stay safe, dig all you want, roll and roll and roll on the carpet and never worry about getting it dirty, have an endless supply of stuffed animals that you can shred to your hearts content, getting the biggest cookie jar ever, and find the most comfortable sofa you can, take an arm, watch tv (you always watched tv) and wait. Someday I'll be there to share that sofa with you.

Cyrus
6/21/00 -2/2/08

Konig Cyrus Der Grosse
Cyborg
Syril
Cy
Melonhead
Mr. Mann
Boo Boo
Baby Boy

[TrinaJ]

I am crying as i read your post, my heart is honestly breaking for you.

There are no words that anyone can say that can take away the pain that you are feeling. Just know that you are never alone, he will always be beside you, you just wont be able to see him. He will always love you.

RIP Cy

~*sending you hugs from across the Pacific*~

Trina

[buck]

I love your post. You can be assured that it says in my Bible that our pets WILL be there in heaven waiting for us, so i know how it must hurt i will feel the sting someday also with my girl, but i have that understanding that she will be there in that special place waiting for me, as your special one is also.
Buck

[cerulean]

I am so sorry for your loss, your story made my tears flow.. and at the same time so grateful for those moments we do have with those we love... our prayers for you and cyrus' sister...

[brunie's mom]

I am so sorry to hear this awful news.
I am teary eyed reading this, and I hate coming to this part of the forum....but sadly it comes with owning a dog.

Sounds like Cyrus was very much loved and a big part of your life...as all dogs should be.

Godspeed Cyrus...say hello at Rainbow Bridge to all the dogs we have lost through the years.

Gina

[Troodie's Mom]

That was so beautiful and sad, I'n all teary-eyed too. I am so sorry for your loss.

[gail1951]

I am so sorry for your sudden lost. Sounds like that cancer Hemangiosarcoma (sp)
which took my heart dog Rufus, Aug. 13, 2000. I will never forget that night.

A wonderful tribute to a very special Rottie. Hugs to you.

[livertw]

I am so sorry for your loss. You wrote a beautiful tribute. I hope all those happy memories will comfort you.

[marya]

So sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful. Your heartful words made me think of my own loss of my dear Roxie, PTS because of behavioral problems, but nonetheless loved as much. The loss of a pet is so very sorrowful because they are with us day and night and never judge us!

[MonicaBH]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your beautiful tribute brought tears to my eyes and put a lump in my throat.

Big cyber-hugs.

[Denise L.]

I am so, so sorry. Your tribute is beautiful.

[Sheenagirl]

I am so very, very sorry for your loss of Cyrus.
Beautiful tribute!
He was indeed your heart dog.
It is so very hard to let go. A lot of us have experienced the same feelings as you describe. My Sheena passed away on Dec 22nd, 2006 and I still have these same feelings.
You know you did everything possible for Cyrus and it was just out of your hands.
You have wonderful memories to keep in your heart until you are together again.
RIP Cyrus - fly high with the angels. You are in very good company!

[rottgirl]

I am so sorry for your loss.

He has earned his angel wings and will be with you always.

RIP sweet boy

Michele

[tcote]

So sorry to hear about your beloved Cyrus...That was a beautiful tribute...I have tears in my eyes reading it----
<RIP Cyrus> you were loved so much!

[harleychik66]

I actually had to reread your tribute because my vision was so blurred from the tears. I am so very sorry.