Cyrus, my baby boy

[BabyBrownz]

I'm so sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby boy! May he find as much love at the Rainbow Bridge until the two of you can garden again.

Run free, dig deep and smile that rotten rotty smile!

Sending hugs your way and deepest sympathy.

[Burnsway]

I'm sorry to hear this! I hope you mend fast......

[Anne]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. What a lovely tribute for a very much loved dog.

[Kandi]

I am so sorry for your loss. May your loving memories of Cyrus sustain you through the coming weeks.
Run free Cyrus. Run free.

[slokarma]

My deepest sympathies to you.
It's so obvious the love you two shared.
I'm sorry for your loss.

[PuppyLove]

It's been exactly one week, down to the minute, since my Cyrus moved on. It was so unexpected, he was so healthy. I walked around this past week feeling like I was hit by a mack truck, in a fog, really unable to get motivated and focused. One of the things that really kept me going was working with Cyrus's "sister", who stopped eating and reverted back to her previous post-shelter seperation anxiety behavior that she had when I first adopted her, prior to her bonding so tightly with Cyrus. They had been together for the past 5 years and she isn't handling the loss well either. The second hardest day was the day UPS delivered his ashes to me. I can't even explain that feeling, almost outside of myself in that moment, you know?

I started visiting this site when Cyrus was around 6 months old. He was my first rottie, always retrievers (goldens, labs and mixes), irish setters and one coonhound growing up. He was my first dog as an adult, out on my own. I didn't pick the breed. My ex did, he even picked Cyrus and surprised me with him. Thinking back now, wow, was I naive. This wasn't a lab without a tail! But one thing I know now, this silly dog, this big black scary looking beast:rolleyes :, was the best fuzzy partner I have ever had and made me fall in love with this breed. For all the breed's strenghts and weaknesses, it will always be a part of my life, in one way or another.

I have learned soooo much about rottweilers and dog behavior/nutrition/training, etc...and I thought I knew stuff before. I researched, analyzed, experimented and taught others what I was learning, beyond the traditional school of thought regarding dogs and how we should care for them. I probably drove my friends and co-workers crazy with some of this stuff, but they always came to me with dog questions and if I didn't know, I would reasearch like crazy for them so I would better understand myself. This site and the experienced people who contribute have helped me become a better dog owner and Cyrus enjoy a better life. For that, I am incredibly thankful. I was always fearful of cancer for him, managing his veterinary care as such, titering, only the highest quality human grade feed, raw and kibble, etc. My head understands that what happened was due to genetics/nature/God, it was out of my hands. But my heart wonders if there wasn't more I could have done. I think anyone who loses someone dear feels that way. I'm hoping that feeling lessens as I heal.

This dog, who was incredibly bright and forgiving, taught me more about myself and my capabilities than any person in my life. He taught me to enjoy absolutely everything. The little things that used to delight that dog still amaze me and make me smile. He taught me that I was stronger than I ever thought I was, and when I wasn't, it was ok to admit it and lean on others, including him. He taught me patience (oh, those teenage years...) and, when on occasion I lost that patience, he always forgave me, leaning against me and looking up at me with that silly, tongue lolling wide grin of his. He taught me that it is ok to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. It's the only way to grow. And he taught me to always let those you love know it. Always. With enthusiasm. Even if it means joyfully barreling into them so they can wrap their arms around you, laughing and laughing until your sides hurt. Or quietly lying next to them to cuddle and watch tv, listening to them breath.

I hadn't come to this site for a year or so, and actually, hadn't been a regular contributer for a few years before that. When I lost him, it's the first place I turned. I think we surround ourselves with like minded people, and most of my friends are dog or horse oriented. I have had tremendous support from friends, family and co-workers. Most of them knew Cyrus and recognized how special he was. I am very lucky in that respect and appreciate that I wasn't the only one who knew what a great pup he was.

I equally appreciate the support I received through strangers on this site. I hope you all know how much your kind words helped me over this past week. I wrote that original post through streaming tears, and would come back over and over again throughout the week to reread what I had written, to remember and honor him, and to read your words of support. I didn't have the strength to respond to anyone before today. I didn't want anything I said to tarnish those pure thoughts of grief and love that I poured out in that original letter to my boy. I actually didn't start out writing to him specifically, but once I started typing, it was like something just came over me and I typed non-stop through the tears, only stopping when the emotion overcame me.

I think if I spoke these words to anyone other than dog people, I would get the feeling people would think I was off my rocker. I'm glad, that in my darkest moments of grief, I had a supportive place to turn to express my love for a spirit that changed my life. Thank you for allowing me that outlet.

[Mookie's Mom]

My heart is about to explode from the ache! We've all been there and know all too well the feelings that could bring out a beautiful tribute such as the one you've written. God speed Cyrus!

Our thoughts are with you!

[Sam's Mom]

What a beautiful tribute to the power of Rottie Love.
I feel your sorrow. It is so very hard to say good bye and go on without them at your side.
May your bruised heart be on the mend soon.
RIP Cyrus...you are loved.