Life goes on

[dpratt34]

This may not be the appropriate place for this thread, but I wasn't sure where else to put it.

As some of you already know and have expressed sympathy for, my boy Nikko passed earlier this month. My question is general and responses will vary widely, but I'm just curious to hear from you.

How soon after losing your friend do you feel ready for a puppy or rescue? My wife and I are definitely not ready yet. We want our boy, not a different dog. That sense of loss will always be there, but eventually one comes to realize that you're not "replacing", but adding a new addition. Nikko was an absolute pleasure to share our life with; however as you all know it takes a ton of dedication and work to get to that point.

Just thought it would be interesting to read other forum members take on the subject.

[shybird]

I am sorry for your loss of Nikko. He can never be replaced no matter how long you wait. BUT, he can be honored by making room in your heart for one in need. You will know when the time is right.


ROOM IN YOUR HEART
Author Unkown

Sorrow fills a barren space; you close your eyes and see my face and think of times I made you laugh, the love we shared, the bond we had, the special way I needed you - the friendship shared by just we two.

The day's too quiet, the world seems older, the wind blows now a little colder. You gaze into the empty air and look for me, but I'm not there – I'm in heaven and I watch you, and I see the world around you too.

I see little souls wearing fur, souls who bark and souls who purr born unwanted and unloved - I see all this and more above - I watch them suffer, I see them cry, I see them lost, I watch them die. I see unwanted thousands born - and when they die, nobody mourns. These little souls wearing fur (Some who bark and some who purr) are castaways who – unlike me - will never know love or security. A few short months they starve and roam, Or caged in shelters -nobody takes home. They're special too
(furballs of pleasure), filled with love and each one, a treasure.

My pain and suffering came to an end, so don't cry for me, my person, my friend. But think of the living – those souls with fur (some who bark and some who purr) - And though our bond can't be broken apart, make room for another in your home and heart.

[moz205]

When I lost my Rommel, I said never again. I can't do this again, nothing will replace Rommel, it'll never be the same. Well, I repeated these things almost daily after he was gone. I gave myself a rest since it was over the summer and we go away every weekend. I am kept very busy during the summer months so it wasn't quite as bad since I'm not at home all that much. When September came around, we were getting back to our routine and Rommel's couch, gates, leash, bowls were all sitting there- empty. Someone I was knew asked if I wanted a Rottie pup. I said I would look and the rest is history. We now have Buddy, a wonderful family pet. He's not Rommel but has other but just as wonderful traits. It did take me a few months not to compare and for me to find that niche in my heart. Did I think I would ever be ready, absolutely not but someone knew I was ready and they were right!

[daaqa]

it took me about 8 years to get another dog. i lost my rott girl tragically when she was only a year old, but i was so, so, so attached. she was a comfort and escape during a horrendous time in my life. my next dog wasn't a rott, as i couldnt bring myself to it. but then, sarge needed a home and landed in my lap. and i can't help but ask "what took me so, so long?"

[Sissy]

Your wound is fresh and bleeding. If you get a puppy right away there is the risk that you make comparison between a beloved adult trained dog that had fitted perfectly into your life and a puppy. You may not have the courage to deal with it right now.

But time heals everything...

My neighbor lost his boy a year ago. He was devastated and threw away everything that might remind him of his dog. Whenever I suggested to him to get another dog he made it clear that he would never again expose himself to so much pain.
A couple of months ago he invited me to introduce me to his new dog (same breed as the late dog). He looks happy and devoted to his new puppy and only regrets that he has thrown away all the dog stuff and now he has to buy it all over again.

[rottgirl]

After we lost Snickers (6/04) I swore I would never, ever get another dog. I just could not go thru the pain of losing it. Six weeks passed and at the urging of hubby we went to a meet and greet sponsered by Recycled Rotts - I was on the floor playing with Paradise and asked if we wanted to take Paradie home that day I started crying because I knew Snickers was letting me know it was ok to open my heart again. Paradise was never adopted to replace Snicks but I do think Paradise has her big sister watching over us!

Michele

[Debbie Ervin]

First off Skybird, I have to say you got me good with that poem, "Room in your heart", I can't stop the tears. It is so true. I also got another poem from here, "May I go now", and yet another which I can't think of right now. I just lost Ceasar too on the 15th of Oct and it is so fresh in my mind. Dparatt34 I am so sorry about Nikko too if I didn't write you at one point. I don't know if I did or not. One word of advice I have for you is as my friends have told me is. Nikko would not want you to be so hurt, and we need to try to go on and think of the good memories of them. I know my friend told me, Ceasar was more worried about me, how I was going to be then himself. Thats how these dogs are. The LOVE is so unconditional and sincere. Now today I wrapped Oynex's Halloween gifts, she is a blk/lab mix, 13 and she raised both my boys with me, Thor and Ceasar, and I had to look at Ceasars gifts too and I put them with his ashes and Thors, and just cryed, but it was ok to cry, it is part of the healing process. I saw a Rottie the other nite and I cried. As a matter of fact, I wrote in another tread, someone brought a female Rott 2 years old to be put down because the wife had 2 bad knees and the dog knocked her down to our vets office, they called me, it was too soon, but they found her a great home!!! She is with another dog and cat and the woman got (her),Molly, for her husband for his birthday, he always wanted a Rott. happy ending. The girl in the vets office, lost her female Rott Nila, last year and she still cries and is not ready. She was so upset about Ceasar. What I am getting at is timing!!! Nothing replaces what we have lost, nothing could, but we find it in our hearts to love again and we have enough room in our hearts to do that. Personally, I need more time, but eventually I will get another Rott, maybe 2, thats what I had, and I will just pray that my Thor and Ceasar will be watching over us and I will see them again. I need a few months for the fresh wound to heal, and then I can start thinking alittle straighter. One of my other friends gave me a dog/scrap/photo album a few christmas ago, and I think I am going to fill it with all the good pics and memories I have of the "FAMILY", all of us together and happy!!!!! Life goes on but we never forget what we have lost and we find room to love again". I hope this helps, and again I am very sorry for Nikko, I know exactly how you feel! Debbie

[Lola B Marie]

I deeply empathize with all that you are feeling. I look across my bed and see this big 115lb rottie and ask my self, how did I ever fall in love with her? When did I allow the grief for Sheena Marie to end and allow my heart to open to Lola. As I look back, I would have to say that the feelings of sadness of not having a dog, became equal to the sadness of losing Sheena. I couldn't stand living in my house without the tapping of toenails. I cried when food fell in the kitchen and no scrambling of legs came to the rescue. I had all my socks and underware with no holes. Nothing made me laugh the way my girl did. I was so depressed I didn't want to get up. So I had to evaluate my life. I realized that I am a dog person. My life is just empty with out a dog. I have a nice size family but the complete package includes a dog and not just any dog, a rottie. It took me 6 months to pull myself together enough to accept that Sheena was gone after 10 years and I if I could not have her, I wanted another rottie girl with puppy breath to love. I love her so differently. While Sheena was a kind, good natured, sweet ,sweet therapy dog, Lola is my wild child. An unruly bunch of paws and lips, always on a mission. I'm glad of this because it proved to me that there could be only one Sheena and I was so blessed to have known her.
I am sorry for the loss of your precious boy. I hope you come to know that your hearts can stretch in many directions and having another dog (when the time is right), will only enhance your respect and love for Nikko.
Jane

[AngelBunny]

I am so sorry for you loss. Our dear canine friends do not live long enough.

You'll know when you're ready.

[fostermom]

I have a friend who could never bring herself to replace her dog that had died. Other people showed up at the rescue I volunteered at, coming directly from the vet's office where they had to PTS their pet, unwilling to go home to an empty house and wanting to adopt another. And those that chose to quickly replace their lost pet are not being disloyal...and it is not because they didn't love thier deceased pet deeply. I think "hole in your heart" is an apt description for the feeling of loss. I fall into the group that finds getting a new pet immediately helps ease the pain and fill the void. Everyone mourns differently, and you will know what feels right for you. I am sorry for your loss and hope that you will eventually be able to make room in your heart for another dog.

[dpratt34]

Thanks to all for your responses and insight. We'll definitely be adopting a rottie again in the future, but not likely until spring, although I'm sure the urge will be there before that. House-training is a lot easier when you don't need boots and a coat for those quick rushes outside. Life is too short to not have the love of a faithful rottie companion! Nikko will never be replaced, but we do have room in our hearts to love another.

Nikko was a very special boy and his loss is keeping the tears flowing. I'm channeling those emotions into creating a video of his life comprised of photos and home video. The process of going through pictures and video is painful, yet somehow healing. I anticipate that the end product will need to be watched with a box of tissue at hand.

My condolences to all those that have experienced the loss of a canine friend. Our beloved companions just don't live long enough.

[Debbie Ervin]

You are doing exactly what I have been doing! Somehow the pics and videos are healing but, I have to say, I watched a video on my daughters computer from last New Years of Ceasar and all of us, him kissiing me and my daughters baby taking pics with him. I was very emotional but I loved seeing him doing what he loved to do, be with hims family. Its very healing and so is this Rottweiler site. We too are going to add 1 or 2 Rotties to the family in the spring. We still have our Oynex left a blk/lab mix 13 years old. She too loved her bothers. God Bless and keep thinking of the good times and like they say a picture is worth a thousand words. Debbie and Family

[dpratt34]

I probably look pretty silly sitting at me computer putting everything together. Certain pictures and video will get the tears flowing; however now they are accompanied by smiles. I might look psychotic to someone that doesn't understand what I'm feeling!

Best wishes during this painful healing process to you and your family.

[chivas]

Losing Chivas was like losing my right arm, the lose and pain was devestating. She is my best friend and still now, 5 yrs later, much pain remains. I had 2 other dogs still and 1 cat, I swore I would NEVER get another pet, never find another best friend. 1 year to the DAY of Chivas' passing, an extremely small, extremely emaciated, extremely sick kitten was found in my mother's neighbor's yard, I happened to be at her house that day, I took the kitten home to care for it till I could take it to a rescue or relieve it of its suffering if it couldnt rally. 4 years later he is still here, healthy and a huge part of my life. I believe Chivas sent him to me, I swore I'd never have another pet, but fate ( or more likely a beautiful rottie girl looking down from heaven ) stepped in and for that I am greatful. When the time is right, it WILL come, dont try to look to hard, it will happen.

[Karyn]

2004 was probably the worst year of my life. I had to put my 20 year old cat down on February 9th - on February 22nd the light of my life left me. My Cromwell, 8 1/2 year old rottie, died of a brain tumor. My heart was in pieces. Cromwell was such a force in my life and had given me soooo much I felt driven to honor his memory and save another of his kind. On March 22nd I adopted Winston from Majesty Rottweiler Rescue - I wanted to repay Cromwell for all he had done for me. I have had Winston for 4 years now, and he is my dearest companion. He helped to heal my heart. It was so painful to lose Cromwell, but if I had not had him I would have missed 8 1/2 years of love and joy. The pain of loss was more than worth the joy of loving Crommie. And now I have the joy and love of Winston.

You will know when the time is right.