I still cry every time I see a rot

[rottieluver]

Dear reader,
I am 13 and was blessed with the Joy of a new rot puppy last year in july. My aunt had unexpectantly won her in raffle. She had no idea that the prize was a Rotweiler. My aunt brought her home and everyone loved her. We bought her everything. She was named Maggie Mae. Yet with the unexpected bringing home of a puppy my family had no knowledge of how to take care of her like I did. They didnt really love her as I did and considered her as a thing and not as someone. She adapted poorly and did not do well.Yet my family could not see it was their fault what they thought was the right way was always wrong. I have never had a puppy yet recieved my dog who is 14 at the age of three.My pup at 6 mos. was still not potty trained and tearing up my house and just refused to go in her crate giveing us a new scar every time we tried to put her in .
But hteir was a bond that I had with her and she was the only one I could talk too. I havent had the best childhood but i have a lot to be greatful for especially all of my pets. I have never opened up to anyone not the counslers not my parents, nobody. And there I was talking to Maggie. when she tilted her head it seemed she understood.I have always had a passion for animals, but I adore dogs. And I adored Mags.
One Day I found my self hugging her and crying while I gave her my last farewell never to see her again. It was the worst day in my life. My family decided to give her away. I had visionns of her and I walking and everyone whispering how beautigul she was . And I knew that when she was with no one woul mess with me. NOw, those visions have disappered as reality hit me and Maggie left me. I cried for weeks, and never talked to my family.Every time I see a rot I cry. And Even a few days ago a year and a half after they gave her away my frien had told me she was getting a rot and I just broke down crying.
I do not know what to do. I cant wait to grow up because I will get out of the vet school at U.O.I and have as many rotties as I want for now I can not because my family permits.Looking for that bond again I decided to become a volunteer at an animal shelter. So after 2 mos. of searching I finally found one who would accept a 13 year old. They are a no kill no profit animal sanctuary home to 400 plus animals. Including Roweilers I would take every rot and unwanted dog home if I could . And I will when I grow up. But for now I started a drive at my school for the shelter and got some of my friends to go with me it has been very succesful. But how can I get over the loss? And How can there be so many animals in shelters. Please look into shelters before buying from a breeder they are just as good. And Although I know u never would never give away your childs rot or any pet. Thank you