How do you Mourn?

[leachna]

I have a questions for people that have lost one of there friends, and or family members. Maybe it may help someone...

What did you do to help you through the Mourning process?

I played my drums to “Blue Train” from Robert Plant & Jimmy Page’s “Walking into Clarksdale”.

Kyzers Dad

[moz205]

Well, I went to bed for the first 2 days. I had to avoid anything that reminded me of my baby. I definitely threw myself into work, family, travelled a bit (new found freedom) and would go online to check out dogs in shelters. I did give myself the time to get into a crying jag every morning when in the shower which I still do sometimes even after almost 1 yr.

[leachna]

I wish I could have afforded to travel, that would be a nice way to do it.

[moz205]

Yes, the travelling was definitely easier not worrying about Rommel being at home without me. Lucky enough to have a summer home so took off every weekend for there and was able to go to Florida more- to the inlaws so didn't really cost that much anyway. I really tried to keep occupied.

[lbraxton]

It's hard. To be totally honest, the only thing that helped me was TIME! I hibernated like MOZ205 (5 days). She departed on a Wednesday and I honestly don't remember too much that weekend. I just know that it was painful. It's hard to say when the pain goes away because it's as if you wake up one day and say, I feel better. You still miss them dearly and nothing can fill that void. My girl has been gone for some time now and I have another dog and I still miss her dearly. I'd say pamper yourself but I know how it feels to not want to do anything. If you can find the strength, do something right after work (instead of running home to let your girl out). Traveling may be expensive so why not spend the night out at a friend's house. Do something that you couldn't before when you had your girl/boy. After awhile, you'll appreciate your time and not being on a schedule. It takes some time getting used to being alone (even if you have a hubby, a fish and kids). LOL!

It will all come together. Take your time, mourn and remember the good times. Just know that your girl or boy is in a better place and making some child very happy in Heaven. Hey, it sounds corny but that's what got me through it and I really believe it. I told the children that and it ended up being my comfort.

Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

[Mavides]

I cried...a LOT -- I was working as a groomer at the time, so I couldn't get away from animals, I would attempt to put on a happy face until the owners left and then cry pretty much the whole time I was working on the dogs. I got a phone call the day after Maverick died from a guy wanted to place his Rottweiler -- I told him I couldn't talk, but would call him later in the week...I went to visit the dog (he was a sweetie), so I took him home to foster him while I looked for a forever home for him. About a month later, I began my puppy search -- that helped me through the mourning process the most...the planning for a new little one made me feel much better. The other thing I did was make a scrapbook of Maverick's life -- going through photos and organizing them into something that I could share with others to let them know how important my dog was helped me a lot -- I insisted on completing the scrapbook before Legend came home -- It turned out to be a beautiful tribute to Maverick and offered me some closure before focusing on Legend.

[BabyPone]

I want to say thank you. Thank you for this thread. We just had to put our boy down on Wed. It is still so terriably difficult, and raw. It helps to know that there are so many other that realize they are not dogs, they are family members and it's like loosing a child to me. I tried to post his sotry a few time but just can't get through it. I eventually will.

For me, it has been a lot of crying. I am trying to remember him as he was in good health. All the fun times we had with him, and all the silly things he did. I think that time will heal, but I will miss him for as long as I live. He was the first dog I had out on my own and he was my child. It seems to be very difficult for me in the morning when I don't have to get him up and love on him, and in the evening when I get home from work and he's not waiting with his wiggle butt going for me. I find that talking about him and telling his story makes me feel better and reassures me that we made the right decision. I still talk to him quitely at home when I am alone. I know that he is with me and I know that he can hear me.

[leachna]

WOW! Working as a groomer? That had to be tuff. My hat’s off to you for sticking in there. My wife scrap booked a couple of books for Duchess. Andre’ And I married in 2002 when Duchess was 6 so she only spent 3 years with her, but I am glad she took a lot of pics in those three years. Now that we have Kyzer she is always taking pics of him.

[Mojave's Mom]

It's been a month and I'm STILL raw....I don't think I'll ever truly get past the 50% better point. The entire week after we put Mojave down, I hibernated at home but found that it was making me more stir crazy. So I went mountain bike riding with Diablo and Kaiya....A LOT. I'd go out two or three times a day for 40 minutes each time. I found all that time on the trails, just being in the fresh air and seeing nature, helped me a lot. The pups seemed to know I needed the time and silence because in situations where they were usually known for being difficult, they were on their best behavior.

I also found that going back to the place we spent the entire day at that day before giving him the tranquilizer, helped a great deal--- didn't hurt like my husband was afraid of. I still visit there often as it is near our new property and find that it brings me comfort, remembering him tearing through the fields and playing near the water.

I cried a lot every day....and still cry every day or so when I look at his paw print and pictures all over the house. There are days I feel my heart is still being torn out of my chest and on hard days especially with business and life, I fall apart missing the only thing that brought me such unselfish comfort.

I must have said his name over a thousand times already and am sure I will say it a million times more before we meet again someday.

[Spoiled Rott'n]

I cried a lot when my Sabre passed. I threw myself into work and into my physical therapy for my knee that I had operated on 2 days before Sabre died. I am a firm believer that he is one of the reasons why I had such a great time at physical therapy because I knew if I did not attend not only would my knee not get better but my heart would not either.

It's been two months now since he passed and while the daily crying has stopped the heartache of missing him does not go away. Work helps, esp. since I work two jobs!! Lot hot baths calm my nerves, herbal tea, and spending time and playing with our other dog, Cody, who is as sad, or more sad!

It does get better. Looking at his pictures still brings tears but they are happier tears because that is when I remember all the fun times we had, instead of remembering that fateful morning he left us.

[mana0615]

I too, layed in bed for a few days. I put all the pictures of my baby away until I felt it was time to relive our lives together. About a month before we lost our girl, we got a puppy. We hoped that this would help carry on some of the traits of our girl. Some days the only thing that got me out of bed was the puppy. I knew that it was not fair to her, and she also needed the love and support. I still have bad days, and I think I always will but you just go on one day at a time.

[Sam's Mom]

The days surrounding Sam's leaving this world were unbelievably difficult. Sobbing and crying...hugging him and then when he was gone hugging his blanket. I have managed to deal...but I believe time is the only reason why...guess I do not have the skills or know how...to get over this...still...and don't believe I ever will be "OK" with this loss. There are smiles and stories told...but it is still bitter sweet. I love you my angel boy.

[Troodie's Mom]

I cried and cried and cried for weeks. Then right around the time when I stopped crying at the drop of a hat my neighbor asked me to watch her shepherd mix for a week while they went on vacation. So this dog, who is a sweetie, stayed with us and I spent alot of time with her. But then when my neighbor came back and took her dog home, across the street, I fell apart all over again.
The sadness stopped being a heavy weight eventually, but I am a big believer in expressing feelings, I should own stock in Kleenex.

[moz205]

I couldn't look at Rommel's pictures or anything that had to do with him. I rarely went into his "room", our front porch where he would lay on his couch to keep on eye on things. Almost a year later, this room is not used other than to take a quick look out the front windows. I swear I still find his hair! I have finally enlarged his photo and hung it up in our living room. I will always think of him but now have a pup 10 mo that keeps me focused.

[ReeboksMomForever]

I feel your pain! It's been almost 3 years since Reebok, my female rottie died and I still cry thinking about her and remembering how I laid with her on the floor all night at the vet until she finally took her last breath - how I hated leaving her there - I couldn't believe she was no longer with me - I decided to have her cremated. My husband built a small knotty pine dog house to put her remains, collar, ,etc. in and I had a small plaque made with her name and d.o.b./d.o.d. and put it above the door to the small dog house. It is on my living room floor where I can see it every day with a small rottie statue at the door opening. It took me this long to finally get another rottie, Tex, who is 9 1/2 weeks old now and though he will never take Reeboks place he is the love of my life! I think the hurt will fade but will never go away completely - I don't want it to - when I think about her it brings back the memories of all the great times we had together and because I loved and miss her so much I'll sit and cry but that's ok........