How do you Mourn?

[moz205]

I also had Rommel cremated. In NYC, it was either cremate or take him back with me to have buried. Couldn't bear that so I do have him home with me now. Hubby thought I completely lost it though when after about 1 mth I went to pick him up, came home but didn't say anything. I was upset all over again so wasn't in the mood to talk. Hubby asked where I had gone and I told him to get Rommel. After a few minutes, he very tenderly said, "but he's gone, we don't have Rommel with us anymore." That definitely lightened my mood and I think hubby felt a whole lot better when I told him I picked up his cremation.

[harlychick77]

I cried so much after we had to put are dog to sleep. It wasn't expected either. She died at the age of eight. She had spleen cancer. One day she was fine and running about, then the next day she couldn't walk well. WE manage to be with her through the vet exams. My daughter was with us when the vet told us the bad news. It was best to put her to sleep. We took her home with us for her last night. I was so much praying for God to take her that night. I rather her die in her sleep next to us. Then the doctor put her to sleep. But that didn't happen. The next day we took and the vet put her down. It was October 31st 2006. I cried more for this dog than I had cried at my mom's funneral. I habernated for two weeks. Did not shower that much. My life was turned down after she left us. I was on the internet a lot afterwards. I've found a couple of internet sites, that helped on the mourn of a loss pet. That help me some. I also started a scrapbook. And bought a photo frame, that I put my dog in. Witch I'm looking at it right now. I also made photos of are dog into a screen saver. So now, when I don't use the computer. The photo's of our phoo is there. That helped me a lot. Now that spring is around the corner, I will be planting a tree in memory of are beloved phoo.

Only time will heal the pain. It did for me. The rainbow poem. I think of that poem, when I'm sad and miss phoo. And I think one day I will see that dog again. Not now, but one day. And I will be reunited with her. That poem is what get's me through the loss of my dog daily. And the other stuff I had written. Only time will heal. And it takes time!

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's hard. It's one of the hardest things I had to go through in life. But, think of all the good stuff that you did with your dog. All the little or big funny stuff. And think of it as an honor to have had the time with your dog. Are Pooh was very lucky to have us. She was showered with love and lot's of attention. I know that she wouldn't have gotten that if she was with someone else. Or worse in abusive home. Like so many animals are in right now. So the little time she was with us, was very special to us and to her. I hope this helps you and who ever reads this. Here are two websites I go to sometimes. The Rainbow Bridge
Heaven's Playground Pet Memorial Web Site

Harlychick77

[leachna]

I have to say after reading peoples post to this question; I know what works for one person doesn’t work for the other. But one thing is for certain, we have something in common, we have lost a member of our family, and it hurts. It has been a year for us it does get better but we never forget, we can look at pics and remember the good and funny things about her.
We had Duchess cremated as well, we thought about barring her in the back yard, but she only like being outside if we were outside. So we kept the box inside on the mantel. We also haven’t got ride of her leash and a few toys. We did get rid of her bed fairly soon after words, as well as her bowls.

But again I am so glad my wife Andre’ is a photographer and scrap booker because we now have lots of pics of her to fondly look at. And of course we now know that there are people who understand when this happens, and can sympathize with our pain, because they are like family, I know dogs are more like family than cats, but Rotty’s are just different than other dogs, I not sure how to explain it.

This is what my wife put in the paper and surprised me;

In Loving Memory of our forever friend Duchess Leach
Who was more human than canine and whose love and loyalty will live forever in our hearts. You were a gift from God Love your people

Nate

[delie]

Its been 6 months since my maggie went to the bridge and I still miss her. Its got easier but today for example i came in tears to this site overwhelmed by the loss of her. Missing her. I ordered some books from amazon.com about greiving for pets which really helped. AS one of the books said with great love comes great grief. And boy do we love our rotties. I think we will always miss them. How could we not it just becomes less raw that all. take care delie

[livertw]

I mourn quietly because DH is really missing his Daisy. He has a home office and spent much more time with her day in and day out than I did. They walked two miles every day after lunch. It was four weeks ago today that she died, and the tears still come.

[lbraxton]

Originally Posted by livertw

I mourn quietly because DH is really missing his Daisy. He has a home office and spent much more time with her day in and day out than I did. They walked two miles every day after lunch. It was four weeks ago today that she died, and the tears still come.

My prayers go out to you and your hubby. I know that it can be difficult but I'm sure that everyone on this forum can tell you the pain will go away and you'll be able to love again (one day). You will never forget your special guy/girl but the pain will subside. I can't remember when the pain went away but I can remember waking up one morning like a little kid - it's all better now! Not that I don't miss her or think about her, it's just not painful. Thinking of my girl occassionally brings tears to my eyes and reading posts like this will make me a little emotional but for the most part, I can smile and laugh when I think of her. She was a blessing and she actually helped me with my girl now. Zoey was my first rottie and dog as an adult so it was tough. I learned alot from her and try not to duplicate my mistakes. She definitely taught me patience and more importantly - LOVE! All the emotions that you are going through now will subside and it will all be okay - one day. I don't know when but I do know it will happen. Stay strong, let your feelings go and this is what will get you through it. Talk to DH and mourn together.

Love!

Trina

[leachna]

I can relate to DH, Duchess was my dog before she was our dog. I took her to training classes, I fed her. When my second wife would come home she would be happy, but when I cam home she would get excited, her stub was going 100 mph.
At night we allways played a game where I would go into the bedroom and lay on her bed, well of course she wasn't going to stand for that, and she would make me leave. Or if she was allreqdy in her bed I would try to take the bed from her, she would bear her teeth growl at me. Then I would tell her good girl and she would roll on to her back and I would pet her belly, and say good night.
Anyway please tell him there are other men who understand.
Nate

[livertw]

We do mourn together and talk about her a lot. He mentioned how comforting it is to have her collar and leash still hanging on the peg by the back door. She was his lap-sitting, TV-watching evening companion (mainly upside down for a tummy rub). I gave a friend a 40-pound sack of Canidae, and DH asked if I could save it "for the next one....." He's working through his grief, and I'll bet by summer, there will be the pitter patter pitter patter of another rescue or pound puppy to be spoiled by us.

[lbraxton]

Originally Posted by livertw

We do mourn together and talk about her a lot. He mentioned how comforting it is to have her collar and leash still hanging on the peg by the back door. She was his lap-sitting, TV-watching evening companion (mainly upside down for a tummy rub). I gave a friend a 40-pound sack of Canidae, and DH asked if I could save it "for the next one....." He's working through his grief, and I'll bet by summer, there will be the pitter patter pitter patter of another rescue or pound puppy to be spoiled by us.

I experienced the same thing w/my DH and the Canidae. Our girl left us approximately 8 months ago and we now have a new girl. We kept the Canidae, needless to say we didn't use it 8 months later. I'm more than sure it was stale and it was opened. We still have her on pro plan and haven't switched to Canidae yet. :)

It was rough and it does get better. Lots of talking and prayers helps to get you through it. We still have her leash, collar and toys. I think the hardest thing for us was breaking the crate and everything down. Once we did that, it seemed final. Take it one day at a time and every day is different. Some days you'll feel like you had a good day and your moving forward only to have to take 5 steps back the next day. It's obvious you two loved your girl and she will be sorely missed but rest assure that she is in a better place free from pain.

[Sheenagirl]

How to mourn? I haven't exactly figured that out yet. Only time has helped ease the pain some. Reading the above posts about the dog food reminded me that Sheena's food is still in the bin and her toys are all still in her basket in the corner of the living room. The only thing I have done is take up her two beds. But one of her pads is still on the top of the dryer - I have not washed it yet and I don't know if I will wash it (still has her hair on it).
Sheenas passing took a lot out of me and I don't feel I have the energy yet to take on a puppy - maybe some day...

[Jaan]

I too have that memory of laying on the floor at the vet's office, hugging Max as the vet administered the two drugs that would take him out of his pain. I didn't cry until it was over, so as not to distress him any further but boy, did I ever let loose then. (Damn, I'm crying so hard now that it's difficult to type.) I have his picture next to my computer and look at it all the time. The tears often start again, but I love to study that beautiful face and remember the good times before lymphoma. That's what you have to do---think of what you had together and, depending upon your beliefs, know that you will meet again in a better place. He was cremated and is in the silver chest with my other darlings. We will all be scattered together when my time comes, at which point someone is going to have to deal with about 100 lb of remains! I still have my 9 year old Rottie and the 11 year Border Collie to hug and play with and just got a 9 week old Rottie pup to carry on Max's legacy. Due to the ages of the old timers, I will probably be going through this again soon in the near future, hence the reason for the pup. When the old girls go, I don't want to be in an empty house. Because of my age, this pup will be my last dog and in a way, it is a relief. Frankly, the older I get, the harder this is to deal with. I can tell you this though, time does heal, at least to some degree and the best way to get over it is to have another canine companion to share your sorrows and triumphs. I would suggest that you DON'T go to the Rainbow Bridge forum just yet---it will rip your heart out of your body. I only lost my Max on 24 February and I am too raw still. I can't handle it yet. Good luck with your mourning process---it is so hard but it does get easier as the days pass.

[livertw]

Daisy's toy box is still full of dried slobber plush toys; her brushes have hair in them. Her blanket is gone; we wrapped her in it when we took her body to the vet. They asked if they could keep it to cut up into comfort blankets for their patients. Since it was a king-size wool blanket, they made six large pieces in Daisy's memory. Her jolly ball is in the garage. She played with it the day she died so suddenly. I can't move it yet.

When and if we get a dog, it'll be a young adult so we can see its size (small to medium) and temperatment (mellow). DH and I are in our mid-60s, so chasing after a puppy doesn't sound too appealing.

[salemsmom]

I mourned Salem for the longest time...I literally fell apart...I couldn't even look at any other dogs for weeks except for my own......The vet had taken a plaster imprint of her foot and mailed it to me ..I keep it and her ashes on my nightstand ( she always layed on the floor on my side of the bed)..I hated Thursday nights every week, I wouldn't drive my truck (last ride to the vets), couldn't walk down the potato chip aisle in the grocery store (she liked Lays)...I finally sucked it up and decided she wouldn't tolerate this behavior and started seeing things in a different light..Like how much she changed people's opinions of Rotties, how much she loved my kids, and how I was never out of her sight for long..I took her picture with me and got a tattoo on shoulder (he even got the worried lines in her face)..Now I feel she is watching my back like she always did and we now have a pup that is just like her in almost every way..

[SABELLESMOM]

The loss of my spouse last year this time was the single most devastating loss ever. I can only imagine the loss of a child to be equal or even worse.

I've heard the loss of a spouse, or child can take up to two years. I found I was so devastated and sad that I sought professional help. Medication and counseling helps! Your family and friends, can do a great deal, if you have really good ones. They can make sure you get out of the house, enjoy a dinner out, or a movie!

I can't tell you how much better I felt with medication and counseling. I spent Sundays with my parents, and an occasional sibbling with spouse/child. I knew other widows in my neighborhood. One had lived one house away and lost her husband about 6 months before mine. We began going out to dinner every other week. It's been a great solace and comfort! She's as lonely as I am.

Keep up with your current activities... even add new ones!! I did dog agility before. I'm still working at it.

[tcote]

My mourning was kind of weird to say. When my Champ was diagnosed with osteo at age 3. I was completely and totally devastated. I kind of mourned before he even went to the bridge. I was physically and mentally sick. I put him through so much biopsy, acupuncture, traveling to different vets just to make sure. I just couldn't or wouldn't believe a 3yr old had cancer! I would lay with him and just cry for weeks. I would be riding down the road or at a ball field an just start crying. I would then just get so angry and depressed! Four weeks after his diagnosed I realized that my big baby boy was not happy any more living on pain meds. His eyes were telling me to "stop this mom" and let me be free to run again with out pain. I realize now I was being selfish. I call our vet on Good Friday and asked what time he would be closing that day. He said he would call me when everyone had left for the day and he would stay with us if I thought it was time. On the way he was hanging his head out the window with twinkles in his eyes that I hadn't seen in over a month. I will never forget that 4 mile ride and every time I start feeling sad about him -I remember his eyes that day and smile. That was 3 years ago and its took me 2 hrs to write this! {with tears in mine eyes}