Diva, my Soul mate in a fur coat...LONG

[my2rotties]

I can’t believe it is finally over sweet heart, after all our love, faith and determination, it is over. But you know what? We did It Bubbie, we really did.

You and I accomplished our mission. You and I never strayed from our goal, even when things got tough, we hung in there together, never relenting or giving in. I cannot believe how our unbelievably tight bond grew even deeper, our souls meshed, and our hearts beat together as one. I could feel your pain and discomfort within my own body. I was there for you day and night. Not due to obligation, or guilt. I was there because I WANTED to be there. I was told I needed to sleep, but I knew there would be time for that later. It was my turn to be there for you! There was no way you would have to deal with this alone. You had helped me through tremendous amounts of pain and sadness. You stuck with me, because you wanted to be there. I rejoiced in every moment we had together. Just laying beside you and listening to you breathing, and feeling your warmth next to me, was joy.

On that dreadful day on Dec 27, I swore to you; that no stone would be left unturned in our fight. I swore to you that I would never relinquish control no matter what, even if it cost your life. You needed me by your side at all times, and the oncologists did not allow this. I would have done anything to save you, but I respected the fact that you needed me there every step of the way. I fought like hell to get certain things for you, to ensure your comfort. I never speak up when it comes to my own needs. However, because I was your voice, I made it ring clear and true. Dr. T turned his back on us, since he did not know about the things I put before him. IUndefeated, I went and found someone else that knew. If there was something that would help our fight, I found it. If it was in the US, and was not allowed in Canada, I found a way to get it here. There was no way I would ever give up, or feel sorry for myself.

During the last days and weeks we had, I made sure to try to spoil you even more, if it was at all possible. You were my favourite and everyone knew it. Life was a party for you and me. We camped out in the cold basement, since you would get so hot at night. I FROZE my arse off but it did not matter, since you were snoring close by, and I could feel your presence. You were well aware of the hidden treasures tucked into the freezer, and took full advantage of my biggest weakness. You knew there would NEVER be a day that I could ever say “no”. You knew just the right song and little stubby dance, to win me over. You were such a big pain in my arse, but I LOVED doing anything for you. It was always appreciated and never questioned. I could give you my heart and soul, and always know these gestures would only be returned with the same intensity. You were as honest in your intentions of love and trust as I was. Who cares if you want me to sneak you a soup bone. It was a small return for your enormous gift. Sure enough, as the sky is blue though. You would take that soup bone I gave out of love, and gallop straight upstairs to show off to Sabre & Chester. You are such a little brat. You wore the name with pride, and people knew how loved you were, just by how you carried yourself. .

You were all about ownership with the rest of the pack. You would always horde everything, and show off what you had. Sharing was never an option, only taking and conquering. I still recall the first time I laid eyes on you. You came to greet me, and then went off to do business during the diversion. You began picking up every squeaky toy from all around the barn, and carefully placed them in a circle around you. I snickered when I saw you guarding them all, never allowing any puppy to have a single one. This is why I picked you, Diva; you stood out, and had the brains to think ahead. You were the same way your entire life. You were a superstar right from the very start. When we brought you home, you never looked back, and seemed to already know where you were going. After you left, I was crying as I held you tight. Dr. M mentioned that you would want me to share your things with Chester and Sabre. Through my tears I snickered there was no way, since you were such a greedy bitch.

You were the happiest dog on the planet and people would always comment on how you revelled in everything that you did. You always wore a smile, and people that came across you, could not help but to do the same. You will always be remembered by how you chugged along, strutting by on your merry way. I remember our good walking friend giggling one afternoon as you motored past. In her refined English accent, she chimed that your “Auss” was self propelled. It certainly was. You had reason and purpose, and your butt propelled you along. I loved to watch you strut; you looked so powerful and carefree. Nobody knows that you are gone. You are famous, and nobody would ever think you ended up with cancer. I have no reason to go to our special places again now. What I loved to do with you in life, would bring me desparity in your death.

You were and will always be, the most precious gift I have ever had the pleasure of receiving or knowing. My love for you far surpasses all or any love that I have ever known. You are a part of my soul Bubbie. Life was paradise with you. You were my daughter, best friend, sister and most of all, you were my soul mate. You were all the things I have never had in my life before. I trusted you with my heart and soul; I cherished you like you came from me. You were as much a part of me, as I was to you… Diva you were there for me no matter what I was dealing with. Wherever I was, you were sure to follow. The years have gone by so fast, and I am shocked that you were here, and suddenly gone.

I tried to let you go once during our fight. I did not want to be selfish and contribute to your suffering. You held to your namesake and made it clear it was not your time. However you were never ready and would never tell me you had enough. I secretly dreaded the day that you’re suffering would be too much. I knew when that day came; we would have no time for anything. I thank God that Frank was there for us in the last hours. He would do the things I could not bear to do myself. You and I fought so hard, and to suddenly change roles and end the fight, was more then I could bear. Frank and you were always such great buddies. You were his home welcoming committee every day when he came home. You came outside for him right until the very end, even when you were so tired you did not want to stand. You two had your own relationship, it was light hearted and pure joy. He loved to get you mad enough to chase him, and you always had to get even. It sometimes meant that you would wait for several minutes for him to come out of hiding for you to get your revenge. Frank was always the protector of the home and family. When he came along with us for our adventures, you were so much happier and light of heart. You loved your family, and we loved you. You were my everything,and you loved the man of my dreams, just as much as I did.

The day you left he was there for us, to make our tradgedy as bearable as it could be. I was so distraught that he had to hold your head to comfort you as you slipped away. I lay behind you clutching you like a frightened child with my face buried into your neck.. In all the fog around me, I cried out to you before you left, “PLEASE promise me that you will tell me that you made it okay”. You did it baby, and in a style that was so reminiscent to whom you were in life. You stayed home with us after Dr. M left, and were here for the afternoon and I was glad to have that time. I also needed those hours to actually see that you were truely gone. We gently wrapped you blankets and loaded you into your Fj Cruiser that was bought specially for you three months ago. On our way to the funeral home, we stopped and I picked out a bouquet of purple tulips to put with you. They were closed ever tightly, when Frank carefully placed them in between your front legs and we went to do your paperwork. He came back to you one more time, and said some special words, as he was crouched down. When he stood up, he was astonished by what he saw. In that cold dark crematory, you gave us a sign. You made those tulips which were clearly closed when Frank crouched down to speak to you, burst wide open with color and life. He brought me to see, and I thank you for the gift. They were so beautiful, they were purple with white blazes throughout them. They were more beautiful then I envisioned. When I saw them last they were cold and closed so tight. I can't believe how they were open. It seemed like they were under a warm bright ray of sun...

The funeral director said in his thirty years of doing this, if that was not a sign, he did not know what was. We then said good bye for the last time, and you were cremated when we left. I secretly hope it means that you made it to forever alright, that there IS a better place. If I was lucky, some day, I would be graced by you again.

However what I really hope for is something deeper, something more prolific. You were my dog, and you know how deep I get at times. I really hope that you are trying to tell me that everything which dies in winter will come back in the spring. In the sadness of death, you will return to life again, to be my best and only friend once more. I need you Bubbie, not a day has gone by that I have not cried my eyes out. Don't despair about baby if you were not so meaningful, so needed and loved, there would be no tears. You more then fulfilled your destiny. You became my soul mate. I miss you so much, and I can't begin to say how hard it is here without you. I know if I died and you were still here, you would be sad and mopey, just as I am now. You were my inner child, and my most loved and cherished friend. I can't even begin to find words to tell you how I feel about you. Now I walk this lonely path alone, and I will grieve you for the rest of my days. When you finally find your soul mate, and lose her. It is hard to have your soul alone and your heart not beat in time with yours.

[LauraL]

I am so sorry My2rotties

what a lovely tribute, i am struggiling to write this as the tears are streaming down my face
You loved your girl so much and it shows, i could only imagine the pain and loss you are feeling right now

you asked her to show you a sign and i believe the tulips opening was that

I said a prayer for you And Diva wants you to know

I'm Still Here

Friend, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.

I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.

When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace!

Laura xxx

[frontierrots]

I am very sorry, but you know this was best for her at this point... You know I know how you feel

[livertw]

My heart is breaking with yours. I am so sorry for your loss.

[Troodie's Mom]

Wow. That was so beautiful. It made me smile and weep and get goosebumps all at the same time.

[TR Young]

That is a great tribute to your Diva. I am sorry that she's gone to the Bridge to wait for you...
Rest easy, little Diva.

[Bucky's Mom]

I am so sorry to read of your loss - what a beautiful tribute.

[jas'smom]

I am so terribly sorry......God Speed Diva

[Gunsey'sMom]

I am so sorry, She was truly your friend, wasnt she? She will always be watching over you from The Bridge with her friends waiting you until you come for her.

[Sheenagirl]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your Diva.
You know it is very special to know a love like yours and Divas and to have such a closeness with our fur kids.
God gave us these wonderful pets for companionship, to love and care for - even if it is for a short time. He is also the one that has made a better place for all of us after this life. It is written that we will see our family and friends again in this better place. I truly believe God has made provisions for our fur kids and we will be together again. Until then God has given us our memories to sustain us.
My heart goes out to you in this time of pain. You and your family are in my prayers.

[kerry grant]

That was one amazing tribute,I am trying to type through tears.Diva is no longer suffering and going by what was written she was one hell of a Rottie,thinking of you xxxxxxx.

[Oskar's Mummy]

so sorry for your loss. i cannot imagine what you are going through. your story touched my heart and ill never forget it....im so thankful for oskar and for every minute i spend with him.

im sure she is still trotting beside you everywhere you go.

-sarah.

[Spoiled Rott'n]

My heart goes out to you during this sad time. Having lost my Sabre on 12/29/06 I totally can relate to your posting and how much Diva touched you life and others. Coming here helps, so I hope it can help you also.

I am sure she was met by so many at Rainbow Bridge.

[Sour Sugar]

It's hard trying to type because of the tears. What a beautiful tribute to Diva. You asked for a sign and true Diva style, she gave it to you. Laural poem was a fine poem to Diva and as I sit here and think about all the furkids that have recently crossed over, My heart and prayers go out to you. As you and your family remember Diva, remind yourselves that she is still with you in your hearts. Sending prayers and hugs your way. S.S.

[rottnkidd]

Diana - I am so sorry you have lost your Diva. I have a Diva, too. And one day I will face this same indescribable heartbreak; we all will.
Thank you for sharing your touching story of love and devotion, and how your special girl made that possible.
Diva is among some of the best now. Think of that, and celebrate the wonderful years you shared with her.
Rest well Diva, what a good girl you have been.
kathy