And then there will be three...

[Mojave's Mom]

Mojave passed peacefully in our arms this afternoon. It was the most difficult day of my life. Glenn and I appreciate your support this past month. After a month of tears, I am feeling a sense of peace knowing my boy, my heart, is at rest. I've posted some pictures in the Gallery to remember some of our final days together.

Mo-Bear,
When you were only 5 months old I left for a two week trip and on the plane I was reading a Rottweiler book. The final chapter spoke about dealing with letting your pet go, and I began crying my eyes out. The folks I was traveling with asked what was wrong and all I could say through the lump in my throat was “I don’t want Mojave to die!”

I brought home a rambunctious, lively, full-of-himself ugly duckling with the ugliest ears I could have ever imagined. I remember thinking “THIS is what a Rottweiler should look like?!” But you brought so much joy into my life with your comical antics and your silly grin; you always seemed to find pleasure in the smallest of things. You grew into a rebellious teenager and at 15 months old, I thought I would have to send you back to your breeder or have you put down…until I found Rott.net. You learned so fast and were such a diligent worker, I overcame my personal fears and entered the OB rings and together we attained more than I ever could have imagined. I remember feeling a ton of guilt over never finishing your UD; after all you learned all the exercises in just one month’s time! But the pain in your elbow along with life’s tribulations kept us out of that ring. Doing what was best for you was more important than that title. I loved you from the moment I saw you and you brought me more gifts than I ever thought possible. Through our trials and tribulations, you taught me more about respect, honor, pride, commitment, and how unconditional love truly worked…more so than any human I have ever known.

The limp started in late December and what we had thought was a torn ACL ended up bringing me to my knees in the vet’s office when she said the word “cancer”.

January brought a month of tears, regret, anger and heart-wrenching sorrow. All I could think about was the things you hadn’t been able to do or wouldn't get to do….you would never live in the home Glenn and I designed for you, Sasha, Diablo, Kaiya, Samurai, Vintage and Frankie. Porches designed especially for you and Sasha to sun-bathe in. Two acres specifically landscaped to accommodate exercise, play and all of our Obedience and Agility equipment. The wash-racks specifically designed for ease of bathing and grooming. Your own room with wall space specifically designed to hang the dozens of ribbons, titles, and accomplishments you and the others have earned over the years. But I now realize none of this mattered to you. All that ever mattered to you, you have already experienced. I spent so long thinking about the “will not’s” that I almost forgot about the “already haves”.

You’ve already spent countless months going to and from that property with the half-finished house. You’ve already run your heart out on those two acres, chasing your crazy sister and lying in the sun in that half-finished garage. You’ve run up and down those stairs with the most satisfied look on your face. The first day we took you to that house you marched right in as if you knew it was yours. Heck, you didn’t even run out the non-existent front door as if you knew that was the line. You’ve already spent countless number of summer days swimming at the lake ½ a mile from that house. You’ve already spent countless weekends walking and hiking the entire community and that beautiful, peaceful mountain just outside your front yard. You’ve enjoyed many days running free with Sam at the equestrian center and Ranch Camp, chasing rabbits, Antelope and those darn squirrels and gophers. All this just in the past year- not forgetting all the great times you enjoyed before we moved to AZ. You lived and enjoyed every moment we shared together. This is the only thing that matters in the end.

I’ve come to realize that it won’t matter if your body is no longer by my side- your spirit is, and always will be. How could I expect my constant shadow to ever truly leave me? When we let you go today, I realized we were only freeing you from your earthly pain and that your spirit was simply going to follow us back to the car, never to leave us again. Though I will miss your heavy head resting on a part of me, your pushy nose telling me what to do, and your silly grin telling me “Mom, Dad, this is the best, just being with you”, I know my shadow will follow me wherever I go. The ugly duckling that came into my life 7 years ago dug himself so deep into my heart and will remain there forever. A bond built on this kind of love can never be broken.

How lucky I am to have experienced this type of love, to have had you in my life. Though some might think I let you go too soon, before it was “obvious”, I will never regret allowing you to leave with your pride intact. There was nothing to be gained other than watch you become something you are not. Never the dog who wanted to be coddled, hugged, or overly-touched….just ask of you what I want and you were happy to oblige. That said, I could never ask you to bring yourself down to a level I know in my heart you could not stand- especially after all that you have given me without complaint over the past 7 years. You didn’t respect weakness and I needed to respect you. Your spirit wanted to continue doing what your body could no longer do and though you pranced around like a 10 week old pup, your eyes told me what you couldn’t bring your body to say. You always gave me whatever I needed and today I gave you the last bit of strength left in my heart.

What a beautiful set of wings you have now, Pooh-Bear. God must really have a fondness for the Rottweiler; otherwise he wouldn’t insist so many return to him so soon.

“Just to see you smile,
I’d do anything…
That you wanted me to,
When all is said and done
I’d never count the cost
It’s worth all that’s lost
Just to see you smile….”

Dark Prince von Amajen, CD, CDX
August 27, 1999- February 5, 2007

[hokisteph5]

What a wonderful tribute you wrote! As the tears flow after reading your post, I just had to let you know.

[rottnkidd]

Sandy - Your healing has begun as you celebrate Mojave's life in the words you so eloquently and courageously have written here; beautiful words for all of the lasting memories made with Mojave. Thank you for sharing his life with us, in this emotional tribute.
You, and Glenn, and Mojave are in my thoughts and prayers. All of us must one day face this same painful situation, and I dread even the thought.
(I am glad you have Christy's friendship and support. )
We are here to help you,too, remember that!
kathy

[spoiledbabies3]

Sandy...Tears freely flow down my cheeks as I read your special tribute to a very special Mojave. This is particularly difficult as Feb 3 was the 1st anniversary for me...like you, I was faced with a most difficult decision for my girl Sasha...and like you, she and I only celebrated 7 birthdays together. Cancer ravaged the bodies of both of our loved ones...both now are rottie angels. I am certain Sasha met Mojave at the bridge...I am so sorry and my heart breaks for you as you face the dark days ahead...Let Mojave's cherished memories help you celebrate the full life you were blessed to share together...Your lovely tribute speaks volumes of the love you shared...He will forever be the angel that guides you in difficult times, and the angel that sits on your shoulder smiling as you celebrate the happy times...Godspeed Mojave...Fly on your wings of gold sweet one...Watch over your mom, she is having a very difficult time...His love will guide you through Sandy...Bless you and Glenn...Let your heart grieve, and then let time help it to heal and bring you peace...You will be in my thoughts and prayers...

[twomanydogs]

Oh my...
I am so sorry for your sadness. Your loss.
Sarah

[observer]

Originally Posted by Mojave's Mom

God must really have a fondness for the Rottweiler; otherwise he wouldn’t insist so many return to him so soon.

That is so true.

What a beautiful tribute you wrote, Sandy. You treated him with the utmost love right to the end, and he really is with you forever.

[Troodie's Mom]

That was beautiful to read, you have truly honored your boy.
God bless.

[rottgirl]

What a touching tribute to your guy. God must hold a special place for all of our departed rotties. Take comfort in knowing you let Mojave go with dignity - the most selfless gift.

RIP Sweet boy
Fly pain free on your well deserved wings.

Michele

[Sharon Marples]

Sandy, what a beautiful tribute. As hard as it is to let them go, we all know it is for the best and the thoughts of him running, playing, and jumping around at the Bridge can help to ease your pain. You could not have loved him more.

[Rottlva]

Sandy, Beautifuly spoken words about your boy. I looked at all of your pictures of you working Mojave. What a beautiful happy worker! Hugs to you and your family.

[alexav]

Sandy,
Your tribute to Mojave is wonderful.
I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to spend time with you both and see what a great relationship you two had developed.

The love and trust in his eyes when he looked at you that day in my kitchen is a picture that I will never forget. I knew I was witnessing a unique and very special bond.

You stuck by his side even at the end of his too short life...and did your best like you always have for him. He had the best...he had you.

Farewell Mo...

[frontierrots]

I am so very sorry. The things that steal our Rottweilers from us are many and they all cause a deep hurt.

[ssutton31864]

What a beautiful tribute!! As I sit here reading this just 2 months since the passing of my beautiful rottie girl from os and tears stream down my face I can feel the love you had for your courageous companion. May time help heal the whole in your heart and only happy memories remain.

[Nina&Bill]

I'm so sorry. And it sounds like he did get to enjoy the house built especially for him, even though it hadn't been completed yet.

Mojave is one of the rott.net dogs that I feel like I "know" and I'm heartsick that he's gone.

You're a very strong woman & I commend you for letting him go before the pain got bad.

Goodbye, Mojave. In spite of all of your accomplishments & all of the stories I'll always think of you whenever we pull down the attic steps.

Nina

[EmmysMom]

That was so moving and I am so very sorry, fly high Mojave!!