Remembering Sasha

[spoiledbabies3]

Today has been a really rough day for me...This is an except from my 1st post on RDN written on 02/03/06: Our world collapsed on Jan 4, 2006 when our beloved Sasha was diagnosed with Lymphoma. On Feb 3 at 6:55 PM she lost her battle with the dreaded disease. She left this world enroute to the Rainbow Bridge surrounded by her loving family.

One of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make was the one to let her go. She captured my heart so many years ago...and it just didn't seem possible that her time with me was ending. My solid rock until the very end. Not once did she ever question our decision. She talked with me all the way to the vets office. She cuddled, loved and kissed me as if our hearts were talking to each other. As tears rolled down my face, she kissed them away. We surrounded her on all sides as she gently went to sleep. Checking
for her heartbeat, our gentle vet said she was still with us. I gently whispered in her ear that it was okay to go...and she did.

My heart feels as if it has a hole in in that will never be repaired but I know that she no longer suffers. She isn't in any pain and she doesn't have the dreaded cancer anymore. She is flying with the angels....

The post above are the words that came from my heart a year ago...My world has changed drastically since then...yet some things never change. Sasha came back to visit me tonight...I think she's here to help me through the difficult anniversary at hand...Deja has been behaving in a very weird manner...she sits up and barks at the dark in the middle of the night and she won't even go into the closet where the toys are kept anymore, it's also where I keep Sasha's bedding from her journey to the bridge...A few minutes ago I was sitting here in the office with Deja...Sasha's last picture, her bedding and her paw print are all here with me...and Sasha came to see me...Deja went nuts barking at mid-air, but I asked Sasha not to scare her, to let her know it's all right and then I told Deja it was okay, her big sister was just checking up on mom...Amazingly, she laid down and rested...(Okay, I'm sure there are some that think I'm ready for the "looney bin"...but it helps me to cope...)These anniversaries simply suck! I love you my angel girl and you are missed daily!

This is her final pic 2 days before she left for the bridge....

[flyballmom]

I agree that anniveraries suck...but I also know Charleigh comes to visit me often. And always she's here in the form of Blitz. Weird tho anyone wants to call all that, I know it's true. That hole...well...eventually it starts to seal over...but it'll always be there. I like that it's there...it means I'll NEVER forget. Hang in there Arlene.

[JemarsSerena]

We'll keep you in our thoughts today Arlene. I'll certainly be able to relate this weekend. I'll be spending the weekend in the place where I last had my Isabelle. It will bring back many great memories.

[debbiej]

Sending hugs Arlene. Sasha sends comfort.

[tcote]

Arlene, I am so sorry your having a rough week. I would like to tell you a little story -I joined RDN -March 2006- after reading your tribute to Sasha after she went to the bridge. I read that with tears in my eyes and thought my GOD this lady loved her dog just like I loved my Champ that I had lost the year before to bone cancer. [I'm not crazy for loving a dog so much] I know it was because of you and Sasha that I have plugged myself into training my dogs and implementing NILF to my gang. I have learned so much on this forum because I got TOUCH also by the love you had for your Sasha. I hope your weekend is brighter and keep Deja close by because I do believe she was sent to you by Sasha.---Tina

[Barb and Raven]

I got tears in my eyes reading this because I had just lost my pride and joy, Raven, six weeks ago. I don't think you are nuts or crazy or anything. I feel the same. I have her ashes here and every day I kiss the urn and tell her how much I miss her and still love her just as much as when she was here. What is really hard for me is that she passed away in my bedroom while I was at work. So every time I go in there I still see her laying there at the foot of the bed and think about her taking her last breath there. It's terribly hard to forget that. I know it helps that she was here at home at the time but I can't seem to get it out of my head that I let her down because I didn't have her put down that morning. My vet's office was closed that day and the next was Thanksgiving. I had called the emergency number to let the on call vet know that she had labored breathing but seemed like she might be okay. I don't know but maybe I was in denial that I would lose her because her illness came on way too quickly. She was fine one morning and just a couple of hours later she was not herself. She passed away six days after her diagnosis of congestive heart failure and kidney failure.
Yes, I talk to her all the time like she is still here. I cuddle on Brandy more now to help comfort myself. Raven was a very special girl to me. There will never be another Raven. I am looking for another Rottie but it's hard to find another just now. I even walked out of Petsmart after looking at the adoptable dogs with tears in my eyes.
So hang in there and know that you are not alone in feeling like you are. Our dogs are still in hearts forever.

[gail pang]

Ya know I told my husband that the boys had come to visit over the holidays.
Yea right, I could smell them and really feel their present.
So much relief came to me, I think the girls come back as a group and the
boys come to visit as a group. I can always tell when they are present,
it is such a wonderful feeling. I feel I did something right in life with them,
especially since three were rescues. It will be a year on the 19th that
my Baby Bear crossed over to the bridge. I am still without a pup,
was in the process of getting one but found out the breeder was not
a COE and hubby stopped all paper works. We are still going to rescue
another. My husband is still dealing with cancer (remission) and dialysis
(twice a week now, down from 4-5)claims a new pup will rally him to get up
and going again. I believe one would also, the spark reappears when speaking of the them.
The home has been so empty, I just love
it when my friend brings her big one over to stay when they go out of town.
Sometimes she will just leave him so we can have something to do.

So, sorry didn't mean to ramble.....but I know how you feel.

[lilbitotrouble]

Originally Posted by spoiledbabies3

...(Okay, I'm sure there are some that think I'm ready for the "looney bin"...but it helps me to cope...)...

No, dear. Not those who come here. It has been 21 months since I sang the Boss dog across the bridge. I still cry for him, with three rotties here in the house, a full-time job and a life that is far from easy, I still cry for him. On our last ride together, I stopped and got him and ice cream cone. I've not eaten one since and I wear his tags around my neck. The Boss dog brought me Dixie (a long story), who gave me the pups (an even longer story) and it is amazing how much Little Bit reminds, not just me, but others, of the old Boss dog. He comes to me; I have only to close my eyes and cup my hand the way I held his head as I sang to him (somewhere here I posted Boss's song), to feel the weight of it. No dear, no one who comes here thinks you're ready for the looney bin, or, if you are, you are surely not alone.

[KatMc]

Arlene,

I'm so sorry it's a tough time right now. I'm also jeolous that you can feel Sasha, you're not crazy, just in touch.

Take care,
Kathy

[Sam's Mom]

Arlene...
Reading your post...is so moving. You are NOT nut house material...just a Rottie Angel Mom...and that Rottie Angel love is a forever bond. How comforting for you to have your visits from Sasha. I am so glad you posted her pic, what a sweetheart! It's nice to see a pic of the girl that helped my Sammy across.
On a personal note...I always knew I loved my Sammy but honestly do not think I knew how much until it came to "going on without him". The hole in my life, like yours...well there just are no words. The hard times come in waves that are still difficult to get thru. The memories and their smiles are there....but the sorrow, I never imagined it would be so intense. Sharing helps. Thanks for another opportunity to share.
I will be thinking of you at this difficult anniversary time. Sending strength and big hugs your way.
We love you "Our Angels"...till we meet again...
Would also like to mention...the compassion, wisdom and strength in your posts to me and to others has been very comforting to me. Thank you, Jane

[Spoiled Rott'n]

Arlene, my heart goes out to to also, although for me it has only been 1 week since my boy made his journey, but boy how easy it is to get attached to this noble breed. It shows you are human, we cry when we are sad (well and mad too), we smile when we are happy and realize how our life changes a bit when our special one isn't physically here anymore, but are still there in another way.

I look forward to the day when my heart does not feel like it has been ripped out and stomped on but little by little they days are getting better. Coming here and hearing other people's stories help even more

[Lola B Marie]

Arlene,
What is happening at your house is very real, and what a beautiful gift to have your sweet baby return to check in on you. Our rottie, Sheena Marie ,became a rottie angel two years ago november. I thought I felt her every now and then in a certain part of the house where her collar, pics and ashes are. Even sometimes in the kitchen i would just turn around for no reason and feel something like a gentle brushing past me. When we brought Lola home, after she calmed down and got the lay of the land, she started to bark in the general direction of Sheena's belongings. She does this almost every night. She will be playing or resting and suddenly bolt up and face the other room and just bark or growl. At first, her fur would stand on end and i would pet and comfort her telling her it was ok it was Sheena. Now she just lays on the floor and kind of rumbles . If I say , What do you see, she gets up and goes to the place,stares up and makes small barks almost chirps.
I do know, as so many of us here do, how difficult it is to go through the grieving process. I thought I would be much better by now but the anniversary was really bad. Even though Lola is right by my side and I love her so much, Sheena was my heart dog and our bond is forever. Sasha's picture is beautiful and I wish healing for you and for all of us experiencing such pain.

[delie]

arlene, my heart felt thoughts are with you, I came to this site again in tears tonight, I lost my girl maggie 4 months ago and in a way comming to the site makes me feel closer to her. I can't believe the intensity of my grief still. I do believe I will see maggie again the love was just to strong. Thanks for posting it makes me feel I'm not so alone. Take care we here know the pain delie

[spoiledbabies3]

Thank you to everyone...you are all such a caring group of wonderful people! Jan 4 was truly a difficult day, but I am coming to terms with it...and finding peace. She will forever hold a piece of my heart, and I'm sure Feb 3 is not going to be any easier ...but I think you "hit the nail on the head". Her spirit was with me because she knows on the darkest days that I need her...and for that I am very grateful. I am truly blessed to have such an angel watching over my shoulder...Crazy as it sounds, in that room with her "things" and Deja lying at my feet, I actually got a "warm fuzzy feeling"...almost as if she was nuzzling right up next to me for a hug...Time to call the "men in white" yet?

{{{HUGS}}} to each one of you...You are all very special! Thank you for helping me through a rough day...

[Sheenagirl]

I still think back on all my animals that have gone on to the Rainbow Bridge throughout my life and tears still comes to my eyes. I too miss them terribly. It was always a fear that I might someday have to take one of my pets to the vet so they could go peacefully to the Rainbow Bridge - and I had to do that with Sheena - it was the hardest thing to do! I wish she had gone peacefully here at home. Know I share your pain. I hope your Sasha is showing Sheena around........