Good bye to my Baby Beau

[beaumybaby]

I have been reading this forum for many years just have never posted until now. I had to say goodbye to my baby Beau (10 years old) on June 23rd and it was the hardest thing I have had to do. I had been very very ill with a severe kidney infection the prior week so sick was completely out of it with pain. All this time he laid by my bedside trying to comfort me and watch over me. On Thursday he was with me in the house and then I took him out and was watching him when I noticed that his stomach was somewhat bloated more than it ever has been. He also could not pass a bowel movement of any size. I watched and petted him for many hours knowing deep down something was terribly wrong. I sat with him and cried while he just looked at me with those bring beautiful brown eyes and licked my hand. The next morning the vet said to bring him in between 1-1:30 so I went and did my errands for my business that morning and came home to find him trying to nap. I told him lets go big boy for a ride he got up but not very enthusiastically. I took him out to our suburban now he has always been lazy and only put his feet up and expected me to lift the rest of him into our truck or suburban so I had him go over to get in the front seat and he couldn’t do it without almost falling over. I could tell he was so disappointment with himself so I coxed him back over and lifted him up into the backseat so he could walk to the front seat. We drove to town the whole time he was licking my hand and I just had the worst feeling he just didn’t act like himself. We arrived at the vet and he couldn’t get out of the vehicle on his own so I lifted him out and he began his usual sniffing and marking.

We went into the office and he never liked the vet but he was indifferent to being there. The vet had me get a urine sample and then we took him back to take an x-ray. He just laid on the table as we did the x-ray which he never would have done. The vet came in about ten minutes later as Beau and I were in the room waiting and I was talking to him he was laying on the floor. The vet told me had hemangiosarcoma with a tumor so large in his stomach it was partially blocking his intestines and there was nothing he could do. I sat there with tears streaming down my face knowing the time had come that I had to say goodbye to my beloved Beau-Beau. We lifted him up on the table and he laid there as I cried and talked to him he had his head in my arms and just looked at me until he was gone. We stayed with him for about an hour as I cried and cried.

The vet has just called they have his ashes back and I need to go pick them up. I am so devastated without my baby I see him everywhere and expect to see him. I am trying to move on but I have such a hole in my heart. When my hubby comes home off of the slope we are going to get his urn a gentleman is woodcarving Beau’s picture on it with his DOB and DOD. I have so much pain and miss him so much. My other little dog Sadie (Dachshund) doesn’t understand. Reading all the stories on here has helped and knowing he no longer is in pain, which I am sure he was, helps but I miss him terribly. Thank you for letting me share.