Remembering Silver

[GraceAAA]

Today is your day, my sweet Silver girl. We remember you and celebrate you and love you ever still.

I think I am suppose to be "over it" by now. This is the 2nd birthday of Silver's that we mark without her; she would have been 14 years old today. And, of course, heaven with her on earth was not to last forever...but it seems the pain of her loss will lay heavily in our hearts until our eternity comes to call.

So much has happened since she died...so much has changed...so much has been accomplished...so many people met...so many memories made. And yet the stinging tears still flow as freely as the day she took my hand and died...that Memorial Day will forever be engraved in our memories.

People tell me that Joy is the "perfect dog"...a dream come true...perfect in every way. But strangely, Joy reminds me of how wholly "perfect" Silver will always be. I guess I just miss her...that feeling of knowing your best-friend inside and out...that deep and unbounding trust, dedication, loyalty and love that comes from a lengthy relationship of such magnitude.

I owe my life to Silver...for saving me during my worst times, for inspiring me to my greatest recovery, for always taking care of me and always being patient with me...and always reminding me what it truly is to live.

I thank her for spending her life with me...for all of her many years of hard work in Service to me...for all those times I ran over her toes with my wheelchair, I apologize...for all the times she didn't listen to me when I tried to tell her which direction to go which would have crashed us into a wall, I say thank you for not listening to me...for everything she did and everything she gave, I try to carry on her self-less spirit in tribute to all that she was and will forever remain. The Perfect Dog...there could be no other.

I wrote this last year on her birthday...it remains as true today.
21 September 2004
It was 13 years ago today that a beautiful angel was born. Upon her birth, she was not recognized for the magnificent being she was...she was beaten and chained...scarred and abused...abandoned in a shed and nearly starved. She was confiscated by servants who sought to heal her wounds but after five months and three different homes...she was deemed unadoptable and unfit for a future in service. She waited...patiently...silently...as many months past...her calling, perhaps, already determined...her mission in life yet to be revealed.

Our first meeting felt anything but divine...I didn't want her...she didn't like me. She was a "blob"...I was a kid....it just felt like some things aren't meant to be.

To many she was known only as Silver...to me she was known as end-less self-less love, as independence, as compassion, as safety, as humility, as security, as vision, as trust, as fortitude, as strength, as courage, as innonence, as purity defined. She was broken yet she was whole...she was lost yet she was found. She was my eyes, she was my arms and legs, she filled my soul and completed my spirit. She made good of the bad and great from the good. She was everything I ever needed and more than I could have ever asked for her to be.

Many of you came to meet her only in her 'golden years'....after she tore her cruciate ligament on her 11th birthday when she went bounding down a hill stepping in a huge hole on her way to go fishing. She was a fisher-gal to the utmost degree...she fished for the thrill just as she lived. In many ways, fishing was like a metaphor for her life...embodying the passion, energy, enthusiasm, commitment, drive and persistence she exuded with every inch of her being. She never gave in and never gave up...no matter how many years past without catching a fish!

Many also may think of her as an older girl whose time was simply up...after all she could not live forever. But her death will always be marked by the tragic path her Tibial Plateau Leveling Osteotomy cruciate repair surgery led us down. While she was older she was young...she was the girl at 12.5 years old whose white hairs could be counted on one hand...as they numbered less than mine! She was the girl who celebrated her 12th birthday by a days long fly-fishing adventure...surrounded by strangers who quickly became friends at her most favorite place on earth. She was the essence of age-less spirit...so full of youth-full vigor that someone completely unaware of her increasing age asked to breed to her with their show male that was 10 years her junior!!

She was the girl who was never daunted no matter the task at hand. Her courage in the face of any adversity was an inspiration to untold numbers. She was the girl who braved two surgeries for her cruciate repair in less than one weeks time...and who still stopped limping only four weeks after the first surgery despite her bone not healing for over 5 months. She was the girl who slapped the ground and huffed a "hello" when we greeted her within 30 minutes of her amputation surgery. She was the girl who walked on that wobbly broken cancerous leg for as long as she possibly could. She was the girl who stood proud as she was fashioned to her new wheel chair and went for her first roll...headed only in one direction, of course...into the water to go fishing! She was the determined girl who trembled and shook and gritted her teeth...and stood unassisted for the first time in five months on her new prosthetic leg just four days before she died. She was the girl who climbed aboard her big green wagon with her favored pillow in tow to carry on her work as a Therapy Dog. From her throne on wheels, she continued to live...often being spotted sneaking into hospitals, taking up the entire elevator in her all-terrain wagon, as she went to visit her favorite patients. She was even gracious enough to allow patients to share a ride in her big green wagon!

We received word the other day in update about Silver's fruit trees planted in her memory in India by her veterinarian. There had been a terrible storm in the small village leaving much destruction in it's wake. Many of the new immature plantings of the season had been destroyed. Yet, tall and proud stood Silver's ten trees...unscathed by the brutal winds and fierce rains...ready to thrive in their mission to serve a village.

The 'Dear Silver' campaign was a beautiful letter writing project that the cancer ward at a local hospital had established for the children Silver visited. The letters we received throughout Silver's life were incredibly moving as were the tributes we were blessed with after her death. A particularly touching letter was written by a little boy who has since lost his battle with cancer; he thanked Silver for being with his own friend/hospital roommate as he past away. He was very sorry, though, that he knew his own death would not be graced with her presence in his hospital bed as Silver had stayed with his friend through this child's death. But he said, he knew Silver was would be with him "on the other side where all are well and love abounds" because she never left him in spirit.

We all miss her terribly. Not a day goes by that she is not spoken of with our ending love for her...I wish I could still share her with the world. People wondered out loud how we could do all that we did for Silver in her last siege and I wonder how we could have done anything but all that we did. She did everything for me...she took care of me with such amazing patience and such unconditional love. She pulled my wheelchair through the darkest of times following my brain injury and I was given the chance to pull her wagon through her darkest times...down all the same trails to all the same ponds...she brought me in my wheelchair, we brought her in her wagon. She cared for me 24 hours a day...never ever leaving my side...providing for my every need...and I was honored to do the same for her in her most time of need. Upon her death there was no 'burden' relieved...I would have taken care of her forever.

My eyes still burn, my heart still aches, my soul still bleeds...time does not erase the pain as it is what it was in the beginning...but true to the life she lived, in the end Silver gave us a final gift...through all the pain, Silver brought us Joy.

My angel on earth and in heaven...I love you more than anything in this world...forever and always.

I love you sweet Silver...please remember Silver today...as we celebrate the day an angel was born.

In Loving Memory of Silver

Service, Seizure-Alert and Seeing Eye Dog

9/21/91--5/30/04


9/21/05 All is still true...nothing has changed...we love you sweet big silly Sil

[Rottlva]

Oh, Andria.... I'm sorry. I never met your Silver, but if she was as or more wonderful then your Joy, then she indeed was a very special dog. Hugs to you and your mom. I know how sore your hearts still are. :(

[SCHMIR01]

Your story is so heart warming and tear jearking at the same time. My thoughts are with you and your family today.

Rob

[jas'smom]

Thanks to your mom's touching words I feel like I know you Silver....you will remain in my memory never forgotten. God Speed Silver until we all meet again.

[BuckshotSableMolly]

I don't know what to say...

WOW...

It's not very often that I am speechless, but what can I say, you said it all. I never knew Silver, but I am sure I will never forget her either.

[flyballmom]

I miss her too Andria, I miss all your stories of her, and how she filled your days. Joy is not meant to take her place. Raising a young one on the heels of the likes of Sil is not easy. Hugs. I'm thinking of you.

[MontanaRott]

She was so very special. Thank you for sharing your memories of Silver with us.

[GraceAAA]

Thank you all. It is still so very difficult to be without her...thank you for allowing me to share her with you...and for taking the time to remember her with me.