I'll see you again Delia.. (long)

[KatMc]

After so much soul searching and praying, internet searches and talks with Kwin (who had gone before) I decided that the best for Delia was to hold her as she passed through the gate.

I'd only had Delia for about 15 months. She was approximately 1 1/2 years old when I adopted her from the Atlantic City Humane Society. I had gone there for a puppy but they asked me to look at Cordelia as I was wanting a Rottie and they were afraid she wouldn't find a home due to her size and age. They had a concern about her reaction to cats and we went to the cat room to test and yes I could see why they had that concern. That's okay, I didn't have any at that time and no plans to acquire another one for a while.

I wasn't crazy about that name and when I asked who had named her the girl that was helping me said she did and she seemed so proud of herself (all I could think of was the Cordelia from Angel, previously Buffy the Vampire Slayer) anyway the way she said that, I couldn't bring myself to change her name so she became Delia (except for when she was bad :D ).

Delia and I bonded very quickly. She didn't really come with too many issues from her previous life. She wasn't completely house broke at the time, her manners weren't impeccable but she did strive to please, she was a couch potato and she loved to sleep in the bed. She was crate trained and never territorial about anything. She was so patient with Sooner who came home the same day from the Trenton Animal Shelter he was about 4 months old, he followed her everywhere and harrased her to no end. Jordie came to live with us about a month later, I had some concerns as she is yorkie/poodle, and with Delia's fascination with cats I wasn't sure. My concerns were groundless, she was gentle with Jordie and most the time when I would yell at her, if I would look closer it was Jordie underneath jumping and grabbing her lips and nose!

Delia was a gentle giant and I can see her face right now. I know we aren't supposed to have favorites, but she was mine of these guys, she knew when I needed her beside me, she knew how to make me laugh. She touched me and helped me through some rough times.

The good thing about this disease is she didn't hurt. She was just so tired. (Thank you Annette for repeating that to me when I needed to hear it.) I had a number of conversations with the vets that were treating her. Today the last blood test left doubt in her mind that her body was even creating any more red blood cells or if she was just killing the new ones instead of the old. The only way to know for sure was to do a bone marrow test, which would require anesthetic. One doctor was concerned about the lack of oxygen to the other organs and what damage that would do, the other had a wait and see attitude.

Removing the spleen would not have been a "cure". It would have helped. Any surgery is risky and especially as sick as she was. I would have taken that risk in a heartbeat if her odds would have been greater. We were still only looking at 30-70 (max) that this disease would not still claim her. Not enough for what she had been through and what the surgery would do.

When I got there this afternoon to see her, she let me know it was time. She was too tired to fight anymore.

This had to be one of the hardest choices I have made, my other babies were older or so sick I had no choice. Delia was only between 3 and 4 years old and there was a surgery that "might" cure her. I know I did the right thing for both of us, I just have a lot of grief and pain inside. I still have Sooner and Jordie that miss her, today is the first day since she has been hospitalized that they ate their complete meal. I have to be here for them and get back on with my life.

Delia has gone ahead to join DoRite, Scarlette, Abbey, Kwin, Prissy, and Heidi. I know that when I go, there will be quite a procession to escort me to the other side.

Bruce and Vicki, thank you so much for the blood donations for Delia. Annette and JoAnne you were so willing to go the extra mile. Karyn, Lisa, ThorsMom and the others that had offered to also make blood donations I hope you realize how much you touched me. Everyone that prayed and is still praying to give me strength, thank you.

Karyn - the poem is great. As soon as I get to work with my printer I will print that out and put with a picture of Delia.

I'm sorry this is so long. My friends around me understand my feelings (sorta), but they would never have listened to this ramble.

Annette who is so wise told me that she would go through this pain a hundred times to be able to share this bond with our canine friends. I have to agree, the companionship and friendship these guys give to us, the only true unselfish love is what makes my life complete.

Delia, I love you and I'll see you some day, meanwhile you are in great company at the Bridge.

Kathy

[moondog]

Kathy -

You are beautiful!

[Sansano]

You made a very courageous and sound decision. I commmend you. Please know that you are in my prayers. You WILL see that beautiful girl again.

[Christine's harley]

Kathy, I am so very sorry. I pray your broken heart will heal soon. Delia was very lucky to have found a great Mom like you, as you were to have found a great dog in Delia.

[K9-man]

07/22/2001 6:19 AM CDT

I’m sorry for your loss.

[calebmyboy]

Kathy, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. You did what was best for Delia, she loved you very much, she will always be a part of you. The grieving process is a very hard thing to go through, I pray you find comfort soon, Delia would want you to miss her, but she also would want you to go on with life & be happy again.

[suzanne611]

Cear KatMc, I haven.t been on the forum for awhile and have missedall of the posts about Delia. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I am glad that Delia had so many happy days with you, her life could have been much shorter if you had not taken her into your life. Deepest condolences from my rottie family to you. Suzanne

[WorkinDogz]

My heart just hurts for you Kathy. :(

You're right. I did say I'd go through the "hardest part" a million times rather than never go through it at all. Not going through it means never knowing the joy, love, companionship and smiling all of the smiles that having a dog provides.

Delia was here for a reason. Her legacy goes far beyond everything she gave to those who knew her.

Delia brought together people from all over the country (and other countries!) who might have never made an effort to be in contact had it not been for her.

Her illness brought to light a serious problem. The need for an organized (volunteer) donor dog program set up by Region. (How fitting it would be if the program were named "Delia's Donors".)

For a dog to have lived such a short time on Earth...she accomplished SOOOO MUCH!

I really believe in my heart of hearts that sometimes...with the really special dogs....we don't choose them...THEY ARE CHOSEN FOR US, by someone or something much bigger than any disorder like IMHA.

Someone knew that it would take someone special to be Delia's mom... Someone who would do all that is necessary to fulfill Delia's reason for being. She had a job to do and she needed one incredible person to help her do it.

How lucky are you, Kathy :) You have done something, through your pain and heartache that many people don't do even when they face no adversity. You made a difference. And so did Delia.

My sympathies and prayers are with you...and Delia can be just as proud of you and you are of her.

Bet she's smiling that big 'ole Rottie smile right now. :) "That's MY MOM!" :)

[Sampson's Mom]

Oh Kathy, I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. I had prayed things would turn out differently. Several of the nurses I work with are Rottie lovers and I have been telling them about you and Delia. We checked the forum several times last night for updates and we all cried when the news came. They want you to know they will also be sending prayers your way.

WD's post says it all. You went so far above and beyond in taking care of Delia and you united the forum in a way I have never seen before. You gave us all back the faith that there are decent people out there who will help in a time of need. Think of how many dogs you have helped by educating us on blood donors. We have all learned a very valuable lesson.

Please know I am thinking of you and praying that you will find some peace soon. I know my Sampson was one of many there to greet Delia at the bridge. God bless you for being such a great Mom.

Lisa

[Carina43]

{{{{Kathy}}}}

Annette said it beautifully.

I'm tearing up here because I've had to make the same decision & know what you're going through. All I can offer is my condolences and prayers to help ease your pain.

[Karyn]

Annette is right - a blood bank needs to be established by region. Come Monday morning, I am going to be on this. Let's make "Delia's Doners" a reality. We have all learned something from this.

[JoJo]

Oh Kathy I am so so sorry. My heart is heavy for you. WD did say it all, and said it so well.

With time, the memories of joy will return and you will be able to smile and laugh. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

JoJo

[Bruce Lanthier]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[rottie597]

I'm so sorry, Kathy..but how lucky Delia was to have a Mom like you. My Cally stands ready to join Delia's Donors whenever it gets off the ground.

[thoradopter]

Dear Kathy,
I haven't logged on since Friday and feel so very sad for you and your loss of Delia. It must have been wrenching decision to let her go peacefully. We lost our rott/GSD mix Sammy to that same aggressive anemia about 14 months ago, but at least he had spent 8 of his 9 years with us. Still,he is in our thoughts every day.
You must take comfort in your being there with her and her peaceful crossing over the bridge, even though she was so young. And you and Delia created a very positive reponse- forming a donation brigade in her name.We'll have Sienna tested for it.
Also, thank you for your thoughts and prayers for Thor during the midst of your crisis. I am posting an update on his condition in the Vet's corner next. Know that our hearts and minds are with you.
Linda