Dogs don't like being hugged!!!

[BostonRott]

This quote is from another thread, but I felt it needed to be addressed on its own merits:

Since i am also a new rottie owner (only six days now), i can completely relate to you. i also have a 7months old male boxer (the best dog in the world). I also read all the previous posts and they are all great, make complete sence for rotties and any other strong breed. The only thing I want to add which was the best thing I could have done with lucky and is also making all the difference with Ranger (the new rottie). Since i got him he has growled at everything and everyone. The first couple of days were horrible. I completely ignoured all the bad things he did. My concentration is completely on falling in love with him and having him fall in love with my wife and I. Love is the only way to make a dog do anything, even if you don't ask him to, he will just know what to do. Everytime ranger would growl, I would completely ignor it and cuddle with him and pet him really softly and just look in his beautiful beautiful eyes. It did not work at first, but he couldn't resist me for more that the first few days. Now all he wants to do is come and be next to me. No growls no problems. When he growls now at my wife i can just tell him no (softly, without yelling) and he would stop. just so you know, now Lucky and I are giving the wife and ranger their time to fall in love.

I am going to put this very bluntly. It is not meant as an attack, simply the truth. Dogs do NOT like being hugged or stared at!! This is a very good way to get yourself bitten. You are projecting human emotions onto a dog, and that is very incorrect and unfair to the dog.

PLEASE DO NOT HUG AND STARE AT DOGS!!!!

Frontal contact (i.e. hugging) is a PRIMATE (human, monkeys, apes) behaviour, it is NOT a canine behavior. You will never EVER see two dogs who enjoy each other's company run up and meet front to front. Such a greeting is considered rude and confrontational in dog language.

Hugging a dog is placing yourself over a dog. This again is VERY rude and confrontational in dog language, and usually begets a fight.

Finally, a direct stare (staring into the eyes of your dog) is about as serious of a direct challenge as it gets.

Quite frankly, if you do all of this to your dog, and it doeesn't bite you, I'd worry about the dog. These are RUDE, confrontational challenges to a dog. Dogs do not understand human emotion or behaviour.

You are NOT going to teach your puppy to "love" you by mentally assualting it.

Work on building a positive relationship based on trust, not on over-bearing dominance. Reward positive behaviours, redirect unwanted behaviours or simply put the pup in a crate.

Here is an article on hugging dogs: Hugging dogs

[VANCOUVERISLANDROT]

I somewhat disagree.

I hug Oscar and have hugged many of my own dogs over the years. That being said, I do not squish him or force him into a hug nor has he ever growled/grunted or shown any disgruntled behavior.

I don't search him out for a "hug" but if I happen to be at HIS level and HE COMES TO ME, he will put his head on my shoulder for a cuddle/hug and some wet kisses.

I think this is perfectly normal dog/owner behavior.

Julie

[Disturbed_Angel]

Good advice as always, Gretchen.New puppy owners - LISTEN to this woman, she knows.
I vote a sticky.

[sophie's-mom]

With all the cuddling and petting and beautiful beautiful eye gazing and "falling in love" I think I threw up a little in my mouth!

I don't understand what benefit people think they are going to get out of their dog by fondling, pawing and staring at it.

I can not think of a SINGLE relationship that has EVER benefited by purely PHYSICAL "whatever" and NO COMMUNICATION or GUIDANCE!

I think I would probably FALL OUT if I ever go to a field trial and at the end the handler gave his dog a BIG OLD WET FRENCH KISS! Because that's what all that MESS read like to me!!!

ICK!

[Em396]

Oh ew, I know people who practically make out with their dogs and it's just...*shudder* I love my dogs but there is a line that should never be crossed!! Lol

First, about the hugging thing, I basically agree but I think there are exceptions. Know your dog and go from there. My first dog liked hugs or having an arm around his back but my other hates it and seems to sense when someone wants to hug him because he'll go running. I have to tell people to please leave him be and respect his space, which leads me to my second point: why people have dogs. Some want to work with them and excel in the ring, while others just want a furry pal to have fun with. Some keep the boundary of dog/owner while others treat their dogs like the kids they never had and view them as nearly human.

It's hard for the first category of owners to understand why anyone would want to be so lovey-dovey with their dog and it's hard for the second category of owner to understand how you could not be. It comes down to personal preference, though BostonRott is right in her assessment of dog behavior. I just don't think it's universal for every dog.

[VANCOUVERISLANDROT]

I should've added that I certainly don't condone the behavior of the italized quote. Oscar is my pet and although I certainly love him....I don't have a love affair with him. LOL! I don't coddle, stare into his eyes and that kinda bizarre behavior.

I simply don't agree that dogs can't/shouldn't be hugged whatsoever. I def. think there are exceptions to this.

Julie

[2rotties2luv]

I will quote myself from a previous thread:

Accepting a hug from a human has nothing to do with affection as far as a dog is concerned. It is a "culture clash" of misunderstood body language between dogs and humans.

When a human hugs another human or other animal, it is meant as a show of affection from the human's point of view.

When a dog places his head, paw or torso over another dog's neck, shoulders or back area, it is a blatant insult which says "you are lower than me, now submit".

When a human hugs a dog, the human percieves affection, while the dog percieves an insult. Some dogs of submissive temperment may appear to accept and even welcome hugs, but it is STILL an insult to the dog.

A rottie of correct temperment is not likely to accept a hug from a stranger. A well-mannered rottie will move away, or may even vocalize or show teeth. A rottie with weak nerves or poor temperment may choose to bite if their warnings are ignored.

A rottie with the best temperment and nerves may choose to accept hugs from their owner any MAY even tolerate them from strangers, but please remember you are always insulting your dog if you choose to do this. This is NOT just my opinion; this is textbook dog behavior that has been observed and studied by dog behavior experts.

If you love your dog and want to show affection, how much kinder to the dog to show it in a way that the dog likes, rather than to show your "affection" with an insult! Your dog would much rather have a long walk, chase a thrown ball, have an ear massage, butt scratch or belly rub than an insult!

Most of all, please remember there is great danger in hugging a dog, especially one that you don't know very well. You never know at what point a dog will have had enough of insults. Children especially should be taught NEVER to hug a dog.

[StephanieandToby]

The majority of dogs don't enjoy this behaviour...but most of them tolerate it from their owners.
Unless I know a dog VERY well, I don't pick it up...lean over it...pat it's head...stare at it...or hug it.
All my physical contact comes from underneath. I crouch down to their level...scratch the chest...under the chin...under the ears...if this is tolerated, I move upwards to the "butt-scritch" or a rub between the eyes...or a shoulder massage.
Then again...every dog is a teeny bit different...I walk a Golden that will shove her head under my arm to be hugged and cuddled and be very "put out" if I don't do it.

[LunaBell]

Dogs are not giant plush toys to squeeze when the owner gets the urge to smother their pet with a incorrect form of affection. However, I totally agree that each owner should know his or her dog well enough to gauge what type of affection is appropriate. My husbands last Rottie truely enjoy getting her back rubbed. At times when they would sit on the floor together, Eva would back into my husbands lap and wait to get a quick reversed hug (her back to him, his chest to her back type thing), then she would lay down once she got the quick pat down. His arms never locked nor did he squeeze her at all during this "hug". He said that before he knew that she liked this type of pat down she would back into him and rub on him, but only when sat directly on the floor. After a couple months of her doing this he started this bizzare affection ritual which she did until the day she passed away.

However, my girl Luna loves to be pet all over, but isn't into the full body pat down my husband did with Eva. She rather lay at our feet and get an occasional pat.

[poohbearsmom]

Laying at my feet at this moment, is an excellent example of a dog who's been led to believe she is Princess Story. She's a wonderful girl, with a wonderful temperament, and she's obviously been allowed to assert her wishes onto the humans she's lived with in the past.

She's been hugged. She seeks it out. A lot. Why she'd rather be hugged than say, sit, down, stand, wait, eat... anything. She's a prime example of the fact that I have a lot of work to do with a 2.5 year old girl, new to my home. She has evidently been a 'furbaby' for a large portion of her life, and it's apparent, that in her last home, EVERYTHING was free.

Observing her for the past week 1/2, she's definitely been the boss, with little or no true guidance. While she has impeccable 'house manners', she's good on a lead, and she will succumb to the occasional behavioral command, but these nice behaviors are likely more a testament to her good breeding, than to any real training in her life. She's a smart cookie - she's done JUST enough to appease her former owners, but she was so pushy with them, she earned herself a new home with me - the ending to the Story could have been much worse.

I have gently upset her little kingdom in the past few days, and, this has pushed her into avoidance on more than one occasion. It's very stressful on a dog when unfair signals are sent on a constant basis. In less experienced hands, this likely would have solicited a bite from her, or at the very least a clear warning to get off her turf.

I believe it's up to dog owners, and especially owners of such a large and powerful breed of dog, to be honest about WHAT and WHO their dog is. Get the respect and relationship going on the right track. There are proper avenues in which to build a relationship with a dog, and then... there's hugging and giving a furbaby what it wants. Sigh.

When people put their dogs on a pedestle, the dog will very happily assume the role of prince or princess. This is not only unfair to the dog, as when it's time for the dog to actually listen, many times there is unfair emotion cast upon the unsuspecting animal.... it's dishonest. What's a dog to think when he's king of the castle one moment, and a dog the next???? Pretty confusing, if you ask me.

Think of your dog telling you that great Popeye saying, "I am what I am." .... then take it from there. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Think about the repercussions of 'dishonesty' with your dog. Think about the ways you've been or still are dishonest with your dog - we've all done it... some of us have learned better... some of us are still working on it. Lordie knows I've made my share of mistakes - but once I realized what they were, I have attempted to rectify my behavior to benefit the relationships that I build with these magnificant beasties.

I think there's great merit to understanding that canids are canids, and primates are primates. While we can, and do live together harmoniously - all one has to do is look at the sheer multitude of young dogs dumped at any given shelter on any given day - mostly because people simple don't or will not understand the differences of the species.

[rottielover2004]

When you teach the dog focus, you normally look into eachothers eyes. Now is that really a bad command to teach. When Harley wants something, and he is not listening, I tell him to sit and focus, he then sits and stares into my eyes. Only when that command is given. Should I be stopping that command ?

[BostonRott]

Think about what you just wrote. The dog is doing it on YOUR command. You are not forcing yourself upon the dog. He is doing something that he has a) been asked to do and b) been rewarded for.

Dogs may learn to accept certain behaviors from certain people, but that's a commentary on a relationship, not on the general acceptance of the behavior.

How many of you hug your dogs? And of those of you that do, how many o you would be comfortable letting your vet do the same thing? Or a complete stranger? If you're not comfortable, why not? What does this tell you about your dog and hugging? Dogs and hugging in general?

[ElsasFamily]

One of my many mistakes before coming to this forum was allowing my dog to be hugged. As a human that truly didn’t understand the dogs’ mind I thought this was an expectable was to show affection. Elsa tolerated it from us, but now I can tell she didn’t appreciate it at all. I've almost got everyone in the house to stop hugging her now. With the exception of Jonathan, Elsa will put up with anything from him, but I know it isn’t safe now, so when he starts to put his arm around her I stop him.

Thanks to all who encouraged me to read, and learn more about dog behavior? The tendency to treat them like furry children is high unless you understand the dogs' mind.

Now the staring issue, I'm confused about. Are you speaking of a rude, intimidating stare, not simply paying attention and focusing? On a few occasions I've had to get vocal and demand certain actions from Elsa, and during this time I'm sure I've given her some looks. So how would one go about disciplining w/out ruining the dogs nerves? And also I ask Elsa during training to focus on me. I was taught this in our obedience training. Am I doing something wrong?

[rottielover2004]

I have never hugged my dog, nor will allow my daughter to do so. I think it is very dangerous, a possible fatal mistake. Not all dogs accept this behaviour. I rather teach her now, than have a chance to be bitten by some strange dog. When Harley wants affection, he will lie down by our feet and ask for a belly rub. I have actually witnessed another dog not tolerating this behaviour. At first his eyes rolled to the back of his head. I warned my friend. She continued to hug, Then the dog growled. Man did she stop. I told her that her face was the next to go if she continued. ( was not my dog). Just because they can be cute and cuddly, does not make them a teddy bear

[poohbearsmom]

Originally Posted by ElsasFamily

One of my many mistakes before coming to this forum was allowing my dog to be hugged. As a human that truly didn’t understand the dogs’ mind I thought this was an expectable was to show affection. Elsa tolerated it from us, but now I can tell she didn’t appreciate it at all. I've almost got everyone in the house to stop hugging her now. With the exception of Jonathan, Elsa will put up with anything from him, but I know it isn’t safe now, so when he starts to put his arm around her I stop him.

Thanks to all who encouraged me to read, and learn more about dog behavior? The tendency to treat them like furry children is high unless you understand the dogs' mind.

Now the staring issue, I'm confused about. Are you speaking of a rude, intimidating stare, not simply paying attention and focusing? On a few occasions I've had to get vocal and demand certain actions from Elsa, and during this time I'm sure I've given her some looks. So how would one go about disciplining w/out ruining the dogs nerves? And also I ask Elsa during training to focus on me. I was taught this in our obedience training. Am I doing something wrong?

RE: Staring.
Just as Gret said - there's a huge difference in asking YOUR pup/dog for a specific behavior, and giving him a reward for it, thus teaching your dog to look at you, increasing attention, and building a real bond, etc.... and squaring up in front of a dog and staring it into submission, or approaching a strange dog in this manner.

Learning basic dog body language is paramount in understanding subtlties of their behavior. Many people mistake common behaviors for something entirely different... this tends to handicap the human/dog relationship, and causes confusion, frustration, and sometimes danger for both parties. Most dogs survive, if simply because their character is middle of the road, but think how much better the relationships could be, if we took the time to truly understand the dogs living with us.

Rottweilers can be even harder to read - they have pendant ears, and most of them are missing their tails - these are two VERY important body parts when it comes to canine communication. It's very likely why so many vets and trainers get bitten by rottweilers - it can be very confusing for even 'professionals' to read a dog that isn't 'all there'. Another very good reason to brush up on these things.

With a young pup, or a soft dog, a hard stare will more than likely send the animal into avoidance, submission, or retreat. With a very dominant dog, it can very likely send you to the hospital.