Dogs don't like being hugged!!!

[frontierrots]

My pups are conditioned to accept hugging (and some enjoy it) from an early age BUT ONLY from their immediate family. NEVER strangers, vets etc.. I would never ask my dogs to put up with that. It's too submissive of a behavior to expect them to allow from anyone other than their immdiate family.

We have rules too though, no huggy around food, toys or chewies or in high excitement times or when the dog is ill or overtired

[Bucky's Mom]

Originally Posted by poohbearsmom

Rottweilers can be even harder to read - they have pendant ears, and most of them are missing their tails - these are two VERY important body parts when it comes to canine communication. .

Can you elaborate a bit more on the ears please

[poohbearsmom]

Originally Posted by Bucky's Mom

Can you elaborate a bit more on the ears please

Because our breed's ears hang down, rather than stand up, like say... a GSD or a Malinois.... it is harder to read the language the dog is exhibiting when one is looking at ear posture.

Hope this helps.

[Bucky's Mom]

Originally Posted by poohbearsmom

Because our breed's ears hang down, rather than stand up, like say... a GSD or a Malinois.... it is harder to read the language the dog is exhibiting when one is looking at ear posture.

Hope this helps.

Bucky has heavy ear leather (ok he has coon dog ears ) but since coming here and reading about dog language in "The Culture Clash" book I have really become more aware of how different ears flat back or front and perki(er) look.

Thanks for the clarification

[debbiej]

I know dogs don't like being hugged, learned it here. Hilda will get close when I sit down and put her paw gently on my leg and lean her head on my other leg. not pushy, just clingy. Boris does the pushy "pet me" but stops when told, and sits and leans. hugging by a human is not affection to a dog, but they do seem to like to be close. I have no doubt that Boris isn't being a king, but I suspect Hilda has gotten to thinking of herself as a bit of a princess.

[autumn]

I think there is a fine line that alot of people may not understand when it comes to hugging your dog or staring at it.

My dogs love physical attention. If I am laying down, alot of times they will come and snuggle right up against me and I lay my arm over them. If I am sitting on the couch I always have a dog sitting on the ground right between my feet, wanted to be petted.

Do I consider this hugging? Well, I suppose so. It also really depends on your definition of hugging. The interaction is initiated by my dogs. I do not go up to them and force hugs on them. I don't stand above them and bear hug them either like some people.

Do they like it? I believe so, why initiate something one does not like? Why sit between my feet and nudge my arms? I am not having behavior problems, so why deny this attention? Does all affection have to be initiated by me? I don't think so at all.

However, if I was having any type of behavior problems things would be a bit different. A dog that is not well trained can very easily believe it is a king or queen if it is getting all love and no training. There has to be balance. I have seen dogs that demand attention and are bratty in alot of their behaviors. I have seen dogs that do not like close physical attention. Just like some people. Not all people are huggers either. You really have to know your dog.

Would I let someone else (a Vet) hug my dog? No, of course not. Why? It is a trust issue. My dogs do not know other people well enough to give them that trust. I would never hug a dog I do not know well. Think about it this way, if I had a child and brought them to the doctor, would it be appropriate for the DR to hug my child? Not at all in my opinion. Hugs are more intimate and reserved for close family members.

As far as staring, you better believe I stare at MY dogs. If I give them a command, I look right into their eyes and issue the command. Why would I not do this? I am their pack leader, right? No problem there. A dog I don't know? No, of course not.

[JonandMichelle]

Originally Posted by BostonRott

This quote is from another thread, but I felt it needed to be addressed on its own merits:



I am going to put this very bluntly. It is not meant as an attack, simply the truth. Dogs do NOT like being hugged or stared at!! This is a very good way to get yourself bitten. You are projecting human emotions onto a dog, and that is very incorrect and unfair to the dog.

PLEASE DO NOT HUG AND STARE AT DOGS!!!!

Frontal contact (i.e. hugging) is a PRIMATE (human, monkeys, apes) behaviour, it is NOT a canine behavior. You will never EVER see two dogs who enjoy each other's company run up and meet front to front. Such a greeting is considered rude and confrontational in dog language.

Hugging a dog is placing yourself over a dog. This again is VERY rude and confrontational in dog language, and usually begets a fight.

Finally, a direct stare (staring into the eyes of your dog) is about as serious of a direct challenge as it gets.

Quite frankly, if you do all of this to your dog, and it doeesn't bite you, I'd worry about the dog. These are RUDE, confrontational challenges to a dog. Dogs do not understand human emotion or behaviour.

You are NOT going to teach your puppy to "love" you by mentally assualting it.

Work on building a positive relationship based on trust, not on over-bearing dominance. Reward positive behaviours, redirect unwanted behaviours or simply put the pup in a crate.

Here is an article on hugging dogs: Hugging dogs

The two BIGGEST rules in my class!!!!!

So MANY incidents (tragic) have come from these very two things that involve children! It starts with educated parents............

[VANCOUVERISLANDROT]

Originally Posted by rottielover2004

When you teach the dog focus, you normally look into eachothers eyes. Now is that really a bad command to teach. When Harley wants something, and he is not listening, I tell him to sit and focus, he then sits and stares into my eyes. Only when that command is given. Should I be stopping that command ?

This is how Oscar is trained as well except we use the words "look at me". I use this to get him to focus (walking, training etc), especially when he's being a BRAT (oh boy are we testing at 7 m/o). It helps me to get him to settle/focus. Our trainer guided us in this direction and it works GREAT. I have NO intentions of changing it nor do I think it's "challenging" my dog. I think it's forcing him to look at his owner and focus his attention on me.

[VANCOUVERISLANDROT]

Originally Posted by frontierrots

My pups are conditioned to accept hugging (and some enjoy it) from an early age BUT ONLY from their immediate family. NEVER strangers, vets etc.. I would never ask my dogs to put up with that. It's too submissive of a behavior to expect them to allow from anyone other than their immdiate family.

We have rules too though, no huggy around food, toys or chewies or in high excitement times or when the dog is ill or overtired

I totally agree, same goes in our house. I do NOT allow friends, strangers, and especially children (nephews etc) to "hug" Oscar. No exceptions. We have one very good friend who he ADORES and HE will go up to her and ask for rubs, cuddle her etc. But she's the only exception and has spent alot of time with him since 8 w/o. Now this rule isn't because I'm afraid of my dog with strangers. He has a wonderful temperment in my eyes and has never, ever shown any aggression BUT he's a Rotti and as other posters have noted, he's not a stuffed toy. Immediate family only hugs.

I only hug when HE wants it. When he comes up to me and tries to snuggle. I do it on his terms and it's never forced upon him or for a long period of time. It's a quick snuggle and as soon as he pulls away it's over.

[Sharon Marples]

Originally Posted by BostonRott

How many of you hug your dogs? And of those of you that do, how many o you would be comfortable letting your vet do the same thing? Or a complete stranger? If you're not comfortable, why not? What does this tell you about your dog and hugging? Dogs and hugging in general?

NEVER! And I do not let any visitors, no matter how well my dogs know them, try to hug them. My vets are certainly smart enough not to even try it (although I have had to stop the vet tech's from trying it once in awhile). All the reasons have been stated above as to why not to allow this behavior.

And, as has been said, some dogs will tolerate it, some even like it. I myself have one that loves to be hugged. But she is one out of how many I have owned in the last 20 years??? My puppies are brought up with lots of hugs. If they decide to protect their "space" as they mature with no aggression, I respect their space. I don't necessarily like to be hugged by someone I don't know, why would I let my dog have to put up with that?

I assure you, those dogs that like to be hugged are the minority. If you have one of those dogs, please do NOT tell everyone that they should be able to hug any dog they see, you are setting yourself up for a possible bite situation or worse.

[yogi53]

I have to admit that this was something I learned early on in this forum. I had a rottie who liked to be pet and lay with you and the more petting the better - not necessarily hugging tho or eye gazing.

So when yogi came into my life and I tried to lay with her as a young pup or over pet her she would grumble and get up and walk away and reposition herself. Stupidly (but based on past experince) I thought that there was something wrong with HER...and I considered myself pretty knowledgable in general about dogs until I came here and learned so much more and continue everyday to do so.

Great thread - I also think this would be a good sticky.

[BostonRott]

The question has been asked several times about teaching attention work vs. staring. I never said that attention work was bad. I didn't get my dog to a SchH2 without attention work.

I'll put this question to you. If you're having a conversation with someone, and they are holding your gaze / making eye contact, is that different than staring? Of course it is! Do you consider such conversational eye contact rude or threatening? But if a stranger came up and hard stared you, or held your head and stared into your eyes (as the OP stated), wouldn't that be uncomfortable / threatening?

So what is the difference between the two?

Behaviour and body language have a lot of subtleties that can not be easily described online. The difference between conversational eye contact (or taught attention) and staring has to do with the context of the facial expression.

I will close with this: if you can't tell the difference between your dog offering you attention and a dog who is staring at you, please please do not ever own another Rottweiler. For if you can't figure out these basic things, you're going to get yourself or someone else, or someone else's dog, bitten!

[rottielover2004]

I was able to tell the difference, I just wanted clarification about your statement, which I have now recieved.

[samirot]

Bostonrott, i am going to also be blunt, and what I am about to say is also not an attack, its only the "truth", you are very wrong in your extremely generaLized and judgmental statement about an issue that is not as clear as math.

You say that DOGS DON'T LIKE TO BE HUGGED, wrong, i know a whole bunch that love a good old hug from their owners and sometimes people they just like. So lets say that some dogs don't like hugs at all and some dogs don't like hugs by certain people or strangers, this could go on quite a while about the likes and dislikes of dogs, because simply dogs are NOT one original dog and the rest are just photo copies, wouldn't you agree. trust me some dogs love and crave hugs. Lucky is one who is like that, and I'll soon find out if ranger is the same. so I know I am not being unfair to them, no matter what some experts might suggest.

Lets now talk bluntly about STARES, what does that really mean, and what exactly are you talking about. Not all eye contact is a STARE, like in a "I am so upset with you, I want to hurt you" look. Eye contact could have a million different looks, trust me dogs understand even the slightest variation, a look that says you are sooo qute at 8 weeks because you are as big as my hand, gets only one reaction, a ton of licks and hugs, and if you don't give them the hug, they will push themselves into your arms. remember this is not only us and our dogs, but almost every other loving dog owner that i have met.

For the rest who are wondering if DOGS like to be hugged, I say hug your own dog once, and if he doesn't like it good, but if he does then its great for the both of you. More importantly, don't allow anyone to judge you as rude, confrontational, unfair or with any big words, because you do what makes sence for you and your dog. Trust me, the best expert on your own dog is you.

quote:
"Quite frankly, if you do all of this to your dog, and it doeesn't bite you, I'd worry about the dog. These are RUDE, confrontational challenges to a dog. Dogs do not understand human emotion or behaviour."
Unquote

Just funny. First, IT will never bite me. second, don't worry about my dogs. Third, not only dogs do not understand human emotion or behavior, I sometime don't, I SOMETIMES JUST DON'T GET SOME PEOPLE.

[autumn]

Originally Posted by BostonRott

The question has been asked several times about teaching attention work vs. staring. I never said that attention work was bad. I didn't get my dog to a SchH2 without attention work.

I'll put this question to you. If you're having a conversation with someone, and they are holding your gaze / making eye contact, is that different than staring? Of course it is! Do you consider such conversational eye contact rude or threatening? But if a stranger came up and hard stared you, or held your head and stared into your eyes (as the OP stated), wouldn't that be uncomfortable / threatening?

So what is the difference between the two?

Think on these things.....don't just try to twist my words into things I haven't said and then post argumetative questions on my newly intentioned sentances.

Behaviour and body language have a lot of subtleties that can not be easily described online. The difference between conversational eye contact (or taught attention) and staring has to do with the context of the facial expression.

I will close with this: if you can't tell the difference between your dog offering you attention and a dog who is staring at you, please please do not ever own another Rottweiler. For if you can't figure out these basic things, you're going to get yourself or someone else, or someone else's dog, bitten!

I don't think anyone was trying to twist your words or start an argument. At least I know I was not.

I was trying to explain that there are so many different dogs and different scenarios that one cannot lump every dog and every person under one rule.