Difficult to bond with?

[mwaters]

Hi Folks,

I am hoping those of you who have taken on ownership of 'older' dogs can share your experiences here as this is new to me and I'm trying to help out a friend.

Background: One of our club members has imported a dog (GSD) from Belgium. The dog was about 7 months old when she came over. She was purchased to be his next Schutzund partner. She has had some basic foundation work done (more bitework than I would have liked to have seen on a pup this young but too late for that now) but I suspect her life was mostly in a kennel or on the training field.

The challenge: The dog has been here for a couple of months now and has just gone through her first heat cycle. She is showing signs of poor socialization and insecurity around people. This in itself I have successfully dealt with before but where we are running into trouble is her lack of bond with her new owner. She doesn't see him as safe or look to him for help when she is worried.

I have never seen a dog that has not formed some sort of bond with the handler after two months of living together. He has done lots of stuff with her, feeds her by hand, lots of walks together, trips to the pet store, fun clicker obedience/tricks. She will hang around him if the leash is on but I suspect if it was off she would be happy to head out and not look back! He seems to spend a whole lot of time trying to 'get her to like him'.

Questions: Have any of you who have aquired an older dog had a hard time bonding? What other things could this handler do to help bond with her?

I must admit I am very surprised with her behaviour. I don't know for sure what her living conditions were like before she came over but it really seems to me that she was never given the opportunity to bond with people.

I'd love to hear your experiences and suggestions so I can pass them on.

Thanks
Melissa

[Carol Burke]

Does she live in the house now? I would make her a part of the family, in the house, sleep in the bedroom. Keep working with her and try to make training fun.

[mwaters]

She has moved into his house. She has a crate to sleep in and is crated when not supervised. I was wondering if this was maybe adding to the problem (becoming a house dog) as I'm pretty sure her life was in a kennel or dog run before.

Would the stress of too much change make it harder to bond?

I have 'harped' on him about how he has to be so much fun and really set her up for success...reward reward reward. He is working on it but has never had an insecure dog before or raised a young dog so he is surprised by her behavior sometimes instead of seeing trouble coming and heading it off. He is committed though and working hard with her.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Melissa

[bliss7373]

I would imagine she is pretty stressed and that is at least contributing to the problem. She didn't have the best background and has had a lot of change in her life. It sounds like her prior training didn't exactly reinforce the idea of looking to the handler for direction and may have actively discouraged that response (intentionally or not). Eight weeks isn't a long time to overcome that strong prior conditioning.

I think you're right in encouraging him to make life enjoyable for her - lots of rewards and praise. I also think that he might want to make life "simple" for her - don't stress her out further by trying to jump right into continuing training. Focus on simple rules of the house and things she already knows and seems to enjoy doing- that should help to build her security and confidence.

I have seen one dog in rescue - years ago - that just never bonded with humans. He got almost zero interaction with people during his formative months, though. And he was 4 years old when he came into rescue. He wasn't aggressive in any way - he was just completely uninterested in people.

[Carol Burke]

I think at her age she will ultimately bond. I bought a bitch years ago that was four years old and had been a kennel dog and she never bonded with me. She liked me well enough but not that real bond.

If he feels she needs to be crated at night I would move the crate into the bedroom so she feels a little special.

[jlhnokc]

I too think she will eventually come around, but I would take out any "serious" training. Keep going to training, but nothing new and keep it relaxed and just use it as more socialization and activity. Also, I think it would be good to take the dog to do things just the two of them, maybe a hike or a long walk in the woods, something that other people are not around and something the dog enjoys.

[fostermom]

Just a few thoughts...
what if he leashes the dog to him when they're together in the house..sort of enforced "togetherness" otherwise I suspect the dog, if given opportunity, will simply avoid your friend. Also, I'd keep all interactions low key...so not to overwhelm her. And I'd also start molding desired behaviors with a clicker...click and reward for the dog looking at him, coming up to him, any interest the dog shows in him, etc.
I adopted a two year old male who was clearly a backyard dog, not housetrained, never ridden in a car, who was VERY nervous around people (loved my other dog but avoided people if possible)...I leashed him to me, kept everything very calm and low key around him, gentle praise (and reward) for appropriate behaviors. Over time (months to a couple of years) he kept improving and is now highly social and confident. The effort was well worth the effort...but just need a lot of patience! Best of luck to your friend.

[moondog]

If it was me trying to establish a bond with a dog like this one, I'd use as little "force" as possible, other than to perhaps gate the dog in the same room or things like that.

What I would do is put together a variety of small treats (hot dogs, cheese, chicken - whatever really piques her interest) and take the bowl, a clicker and the (very hungry) dog out to the yard (or I suppose the living room would work, too - but there are more distractions outside so more opportunities) and - assuming I've already thoroughly taught her that "click means treat" and I've added a "come and get it" command to it - I'd sit with my bowl of treats and just watch her. ANY movement she makes in my direction, even as subtle as a ear twitch or head turn in my direction, I'd click and say "Come and GET IT!" and reward.

If she's really standoffish this could be started on a long leash or a flexi, but only to limit how far she can move away, never to reel her in - it has to be HER decision to move in and accept the offer of a treat.

Depending on how uninterested she is, this can be a real exercise in patience on the owner's part, because you MUST allow the dog to CHOOSE the interaction and then highly reward it with something that is highly valued by the dog (for most hungry dogs that is food)......that's the first step.

Might be worth a try.