New Owner Needing Some Advice...

[BarryD]

Hi everyone!! I'll try to keep this basic. I'm the proud owner of a gorgeous little rottie bitch, 8 weeks old. Now, here's my problem. I sent my 13yr old daughter a photo of her, then her mother (who I do not live with), called me and her exact words were,"Please don't tell me that's a rottweiler in that photo? If it is, then there is no chance in hell that Charlotte (My daughter) is ever coming to your house again. I don't want her face getting ripped off. i don't care if you train the dog to paint the fence, it will turn and only takes two seconds to rip Charlotte's face off", to which I just said ok, phone me when you've calmed down.

Well, my daughter came last weekend, and her mum said she was allowed this weekend, but not in two weeks and she'll have to speak with me on the phone about it. What I actually need is some advice so I can give her all the facts about our dog. I do understand where she is coming from, but she is being very single minded about the whole thing.

What I propose to say is, I want Charlotte to be a part of Zuki's life and training, as she needs to know and understand who her masters are, then after a year or so when Zuki is big, if Charlotte feels uncomfortable being in the house, then we'll sort something then. I will not be leaving Charlts alone with the dog at any time anyway, as I believe that children shouldn't be left alone, even though she is 13, but my ex is causing me a great big headache and any advice on what else I can say to her would be much appreciated!!

Thanks in advance!!...

[tinks]

i got a 18 month bitch and my girl has just had a baby the dog love him .he is 6 month old we put him on the floor and she will lick him then sit beside him protecting him .ppl say if you leave the dog out and pay morer attention to you daughter and not the dog .then you may have problems so take them out together play with them as soon as my girl came home from hossi with baby we called her over and let her sniff him and giv him a kiss. we never leave them together .my rott plays on the park with all the kids she loves kids to bits i no wat you mean i get parents sayin put my dog on a lead it could be a murderer. it is all how that dog is brought up just keep your eye on them when together and remember dont leave the dog out for your daughter do things together or the dog may get jelous but even then i would say rotts are great with kids hope this helps in any way .

[casenh]

In my house I have a nine week old rotty pup and a 5 yr old boy, fun times!!! I've been trying to train the puppy and my son at the same time. Both are doing well, anyways my point is just explain to your daugters mother that they will learn togeather. Hopefully she changes her mind because your daugter and your puppy could become good friends. Good luck!!

[Nishasmom]

Legally, I don't think she can keep your daughter away because of the breed of dog you have.

To make her more comfortable....how would feel about your ex getting to know your new baby? This may calm her nerves. There are TONS of videos on YouTube that show the "true" character of the Rottweiler; rotts playing with babies, kittens, ducks...really all sorts of things.

Try to find some Rottie "Hero" stories, print them out and give them to your ex.

[QuietDaze]

No she can't keep your child away because of a puppy, regardless of breed. It's not as if you have a dog who has a history of aggression. If you did, then she could declare you place unsafe but she would still have to go to court, etc, etc, etc.

However, doesn't mean she can't make your life miserable in the meantime so I understand that. How does your daughter feel about the puppy? I wouldn't worry too much about it. I don't know how your relationship is but I would tell her that she can't deny you visitation and assure her that the puppy is being responsibly trained, and that your daughter loves him. Then I would leave it at that. No need to try to change her mind if she's single minded and stubborn. And especially if she's a bitter divorcee.

Nisha's mom had a great suggestion. See if the ex will meet the puppy. Bring the puppy along when you pick up your daughter. Who in the world doesn't like puppies??

[poohbearsmom]

Could it be that the rottweiler is not the real issue here?

A well bred rottweiler with proper imprinting, training and consistent management is one of the BEST family dogs there are out there.

It sounds as though you and your daughter's mother need to sit down and talk.

[Dolphin9217]

We encountered a similar problem when we got our beautiful Elsa. My DH's ex-wife had some concerns about using getting a Rottweiler because of the children. (They have shared parenting) She came over and met Elsa. It was agreed that both daughters would be heavily involved in Elsa's traning. Everytime the ex is over to pick up the girls we let her see Elsa and even show her some of the tricks that Elsa has learned from the girls. Elsa is almost 8 months now and she is getting better with the idea. We also stress to her that Elsa is NEVER EVER left alone with the girls. Hope this helps!

[Janus'sMom]

Would your ex-wife consider meeting the parents of Zuki? Would that be possible to set up, as well as letting her meet Zuki? As stated before maybe the puppy isn't the issue at all.

I had a similar problem with my boyfriend's ex-wife when it came to Janus and their 3yr old son. She said Janus would maul him by the time he turned 6 months old. I questioned her and asked her "What makes you think he'd do that? You saw his mom (Jada) and she lived with us for 2 months and she never harmed a hair on the boy's head, so what makes you think Janus would do something like that?"

Ask her why she has this oppinion on a sweet, adorable little 8wk old puppy.
So maybe having her set up a meeting with the breeder would be a good idea as well.
But if she's being stubborn and such, then no amount of wisdom will help you , she find a way to "proove" you wrong in her mind. Some people just want to stay ignorant.

Best of luck to you, Charlotte, Zuki (and yes, your ex-wife too).

[aldelgreco]

imagine that...an ex-wife making things hard on you.
this isn't about the dog. i would just ignore her. legally, what can she do?
maybe i'm immature, but when someone says something that assenine to me, i don't eben want to waste my time with them. especially an ex. ugh.

sorry to hear you have to deal with her.

[QuietDaze]

Aldelgreco - yes, your response is a little immature because at the end of the day, the mature person should make the effort to smooth the waters. They have a child together and ultimately the goal is to be as peaceful and drama-free as possible. He knows she is being ridiculous and that it's probably not ALL about the dog. He is looking for advice in how to handle a response to his new puppy that is completely unreasonable. At least he isn't putting his daughter in the middle to mediate/beg/influence the mom.

No offense meant by the immature comment, we were all immature once and many of us still are in some areas.

[Shane]

I agree that it's probably not about the dog, so I'll try to get a handle on the relationship side of things.

I guess my reaction would be based on how your ex normally handles things. Assuming that this isn't her first ultimatum, what historically has happened if you don't allow it to turn into a drama fest? Does she move onto another issues, dig her heels in and never forget, or what? If there's never been any way to reason with her about stuff in the past, there's no reason to think it's possible this time. If she's actually open to education and negotiation, that's another story.

[comm857]

Sorry to hear of your situation.. :(
My husband at first had the same opinion about our dog, she is only 6 months mind you, being around kids. He has seen 1st hand how my dog reacts to my niece and nephew. She just loves kids...she would choose a child over another dog to play with! She just licks them to death!!!

Legally, your ex-wife cannot keep you from your child. I personally work for a p.d. and we here this all the time, not dog issues but people not letting their kids go to the other's house because of a girlfriend or new wife. But if you have paperwork that says that you get your child on a specific day/time and she refuses to bring her to your house you can call your local police department and ask for a "stand by" to pick up your daughter. Just let them know your x-wife or daughter’s mom is refusing to let you see her for your visitation because you have a dog. They also can take a report and I believe if you have so many reports on file you can go to court and file sole custody or "more" custody time.

Hope this helps!

[ECAV]

If her mother gets to know zuki from a puppy and is somewhat involved with seeing her frequently she will see that she is not some vicious cujo, and she won't be able to not fall in love with her. Your daughter is old enough to get involved with training and I'm sure she knows how to treat dogs in general. My children were teenagers when we got our rottie, but then they married and had children, and she was fine with the grandkids. We would never leave them alone with any dog. But we had no problems. They used her as a pillow to watch tv laying on the floor. They knew she had to do something for a treat. It was very funny to watch a 2 yr old telling a 100 lb rottie to sit, lay down, speak, for her treat. And she took her treats very gently from the kids. All her mother has to do is get to know a rottie or two and I'm sure she will be hooked. Take her to some shows where there are many well behaved rotties all in the same place and speak with the owners. Don't give up, they are the most wonderful companions.

[Xena Rio's Mum]

It really annoys me when people judge the breed by the few bad incidents that have been in the news. I live in the UK and because of a few irresponsible owners the Rottweiler has been given a bad name. Only last week I was in the vets with my 10yr old rottie and she had patches all over her with stitches in because she'd had some lumps removed, and the lady next to me said oh has she been fighting, I said no she actually has cancer and you should not judge all dogs the same. There are good and bad in all breeds but if you bring them up to respect you, you should have no problems.

[BarryD]

Thanks for all your replies!! I've decided to introduce her to Zuki, and let her know exactly how I will be training her, puppy classes, etc. and just prove to her that I know what I'm doing. We are actually on quite decent terms, and she still hasn't contacted me over the whole issue, so when my daughter is over next weekend, I'm going to have it out with her.

I think after she actually sees Zuki, she'll change her mind, but no doubt try and lay down some ground rules, like the dog never being left with my daughter, which I wouldn't do anyway, but I am not irresponsible, and especially with a rottie, and shall be proving to her that it's the media and bad owners that give rotties the bad name.

Thanks again for all your replies, I'm going to quote a few of them when I speak to her! Shall let you know how it goes after next weekend...