2 Dogs, 1 Dies - What Do You Do?

[Patty1231]

I've been thinking about this for awhile but with Perle nearing her end I felt it was now time to ask the question. What happens with Rocco when she's gone? How will he respond? Is there anything I can or should do?

[BostonRott]

Let him see her after she's gone, whether you bring him to the vet, or if the vet comes to your place, let him see her body. It will help him understand her absence. We did this with everyone when Froli was gone. They each had very different reactions. Bort was in avoidance, you could tell he understood but he wouldn't go near her. Vikka went in sniffed her and came to me. Banja's still breaks my heart (she was 11mos at the time). She went over and kept nuzzling at Frol's head, almost as if to get her to move. As hard as it was, I'm glad we did it, I think it helped ease things here at home.

Expect depression and some changes for awhile, but then know that it will get better, both for you and for Rocco.

[SABELLESMOM]

Originally Posted by BostonRott

Let him see her after she's gone, whether you bring him to the vet, or if the vet comes to your place, let him see her body.

Definately. Each responds a bit differently. And they do know/understand a lot more than you think.

My crew was in the play area. Candy Sue (Rhodesian/Greyhound) age, 16, had a stroke. She always liked her special sunny spot in the grass to lie in and being old...she laid there a lot. Then I noticed Jazmine seemingly standing guard and protecting her. The Cocker, Mr Digbee, began barking. I went out to discover she'd had a stroke. She was unable to move. It was obviously time for her to go.

We quickly got a blanket and took her in for euthanasia.. The other dogs didn't have an opportunity to see her once she was gone, as we didn't think of it. But they did get to be with her and snif and say good bye, so to speak, before she left. I honestly think Jazmine would have stood watch until after she was gone. I'll never forget how "soldier like" she behaved.

Both dogs were very sad eyed and quiet for a few days. Jazmine, especially, lacked her usual vigor. Digbee laid where Candy's scent was strongest.

[2rotties2luv]

Sierra had been at the emergency vet's for 2 days when the cancer diagnosis was made and I decided to have her PTS. My vet recommended that I bring Jazz and let him stay with us when Sierra was given the injection. When she first came into the room, he sniffed her all over and then just laid down and watched the proceedings. After she had passed, he came over and sniffed her again, and that was it.

Afterwards, Jazz became quite depressed, and sometimes he wouldn't eat for days. The vet couldn't find anything wrong and all tests were normal. I had intended to adopt another dog, because I wanted one, but I was waiting to find the right one. My first criterion was that she would get along with Jazz. I adopted Maddy 5 months after Sierra passed away, because she and Jazz hit it off right away. She has always been respectful of Jazz. Within a month of adopting Maddy, Jazz was his old self again. It is a joy to see these two old dogs galloping around chasing each other like pups.

[old girl]

Ok, now that I've stopped crying, I can tell you what we did. Our vet came to our home when it was time for Old Man Luke to go. Sashka lied beside him the whole time. When we removed his body she stayed in that spot all night. I'm not sure that I would do that again.
All of her previous behaviours came back. She barked all day when left alone, she soiled in the house, she couldn't stand to be away from me at all.
When Chewie came to us, she of course hated him and refused to let him near any of Lukes toys. After a couple of weeks it was like she was herself again. Again, I'm not sure I would have the dog in the room, but thats just me.

[Patty1231]

Originally Posted by old girl

Again, I'm not sure I would have the dog in the room, but thats just me.

Yes, this is something else that concerns me. I think it would be better for Perle to be at home but I'm worried about the impact on Rocco, having someone come in and then Perle gone. I don't think I would have had him in the room, but the rest concerns me. I'm not sure if it would be better to go to the vet. Knowing my dogs means nothing here because I've never been through this before and, as was said, all dogs are different anyway. I want what's best for Perle but Rocco's the one who's going to be left behind. I know Perle's going to a better place in any case and that's a comfort.

I'm almost regretting having two dogs at once because now I'm going to feel responsible for Rocco's grief. Even though I know they've enjoyed the time they've had together, as I have.

[BostonRott]

You are not responsible for Rocco's reactions, they are simply reality. By allowing him to see the body, you let him see that she's dead, instead of wandering the house wondering where she went. I did not have the dogs in the room when we actually put Froli down, but brought them in afterwards, one at a time.

I think it offers closure......kinda like having a funeral....time to say good-bye, vs. the wife who lost her husband to the seas and never had a body to bury.

[SABELLESMOM]

Going back to Gretchen's post, it would seem the dog(s) fair better seeing the body, not necessarily the entire proceedure. That could be pretty scary. There's a huge difference between the two.

And you're not responsible for Rocco's grief. That's life. Dogs get old and dogs die. Would you rather they hadn't had many happy playful times together. Of course not. Dogs need happiness as much as we do.

When the time comes share some quiet moments with just you and Rocco then show him it's time to get on with things. Do something new. Take in a new walk route along a beautiful lane. Work on another title to tag on.

[jas'smom]

Patti.....Please do what feels right to you....I must admit I have always allowed the dogs to say goodbye after....it does seem to help them move on. Rocco will be ok....he has you

[Karinka200]

I would recommend letting Rocco see the body. We put Jess (the healthy dog) in another room when the vet came to put our yellow lab, Bayfield, down. After we had some private time, the vet and her assistant took the body away. They asked if we wanted to let Jess see the body...but we were so distraught and in tears, we just said no...take the body...

I think that was a mistake. For several days, Jess sat at the end of the driveway, facing the direction where Bayfield loved to go, and just stayed there. She wouldn't move, lay down or anything. I would call her...she would look at me....and then look away. It was heartbreaking. We tried so hard to keep the schedule normal and upbeat, but she went into what seemed to be a depression. She wouldn't even play anymore. We weren't going to get another dog for awhile...but thought maybe we should start looking sooner for Jess's sake. Once we adopted Rose, about a month later...Jess's demeanor changed instantly. Jess once again became the "matriarch" and had someone to "boss around" and "show the ropes to."

But, you know your dog... and as Jas's mom said...Rocco will still have you....so you need to do what feels right. I am just offering you "our experience" to help you make YOUR decision....whatever that may be....

[Patty1231]

Originally Posted by Karinka200

I am just offering you "our experience" to help you make YOUR decision....whatever that may be....

Thank you. That's why I've asked the question. Your comments have helped.

[Bruce Lanthier]

I have always taken the dog to the vet, said goodbye, cried like hell, gone home and got on with the business of living. My dogs have reacted to the change in routine and the change in the pack dynamics but nothing to any large degree. I think they are more likely to react the change in my demeanor than be upset over a missing pack mate.

In the wild, weak and dying pack mates are forced out of the pack to die alone so as not to endanger the rest of the pack.

[majicka]

Bruno had died so suddenly, I think it hit all of us like a ton of bricks. Bruno had a heart attack at the vet's office so the dogs weren't able to say 'goodbye'. Brazen moped around quite a while..we had to really really rile her up to play. Brando still being very puppy at 1 1/2 years old, really missed his playmate. We tried to have 'life as usual' and play with the dogs as much as possible, keep routines as usual. Things didn't really seem 'normal' around here again until we adopted Happy 2 months later. Brazen really perked up, and Brando finally had someone to play with him again. I think keeping routines the same and just giving extra attention will help Rocco and you both.

Honestly, I think Rocco will be ok. It's amazing how dogs grieve and bounce back so quickly. Rocco will help you get through this more than you know.