Why I will not home a dog with you at this time....

[poohbearsmom]

I was contacted by a family in search of a youth rottweiler. I happen to have one (that is more than welcome to spend eternity in my home, BTW). After a lengthy conversation, and several red flags later, I wrote the family an email this morning, urging them to think about their expectations, and reasoning for adding a dog to the family unit. It was suggested that I post this email on the forums, so that newbies to the breed can understand where some of us are coming from.

A little background information: Family just moved to a property with acreage. Family installed a 6foot fence on about an acre of the property. Family has two children, a preteen and a pre-K child. During the conversation, the wife advised me she grew up with working farm dogs, and her husband grew up with a friend who owned a rottweiler. He wants the rottweiler, the wife is not so sure, given the stigma of the breed.
Husband commutes across state for his job, and the little woman is left at home with the kids all week, and wants to feel safe. Several times, she mentioned that she wanted a dog to "protect her children", and she wants a "dog that will lie under the trampoline while my kids are jumping on it"....(yeah, right)
Wife also mentioned that the dog would be kept on her screened in back porch until said dog could be "trusted" in her new home. Many times during the conversation, family security, guarding and protecting ability was stressed by the wife.

After several days of trying to come up with a non-abrasive way to approach this woman, in hopes that she will not jump into a situation she is not prepared for, I got busy and put my thoughts together today.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Hello XXXXX.

It was a pleasure speaking with you this past week...Sorry it's taken so long to get back to you... been a very busy week here.....
After long discussions with my husband, Joe, we have decided not to place Attila at this time.

There were several factors leading to this decision, and I think it's only fair to tell you our reasoning. Please accept the following information in the light in which it's intended; which is to get you to think about what your honest expectations are in regards to owning a dog.

My dogs are raised as house dogs. They require constant social interraction with people, or they are not happy campers. They have very good house manners, and know how to behave indoors... they are also very energetic animals outdoors, and I fear that Attila would not stand by and watch your kids play on the trampoline, he would be on the trampoline with them, having the time of his life.... ;) This, of course can either be a positive (if you are supervising the situation), or a negative (if you trust the dog to babysit your kids). To be redundant, no dog should EVER be left alone with small children, whether it's a rottweiler, a collie, or a chihuahua.
While I personally have no problem with folks who's dogs live outside (with adequate shelter and socialization), or folks who have kennel dogs (with adequate socialization), I personally feel that dogs who live in the home, as members of the family lead far more enriched lives, and in turn enrich the family's life as well. This is where crate training comes in handy. A crate gives the dog a SAFE place to get away from it all, is a wonderful training tool, and keeps the dog from being underfoot when underfoot is not convenient. It keeps your house safe, and the dog safe from ingesting things it shouldn't. It's also good to have the dog be familiar with crating, should you need to travel, or the dog needs to stay at the vets during an illness.

You seem to have obvious reservations about owning a rottweiler, and during our conversation, appeared to be MUCH more comfortable with the thought of having a different breed of dog.
As I stated in our conversation, you have just as much chance of a Collie truly protecting you, as you would with a Rottweiler.
I cannot, in good conscience, think of homing a rottweiler with a family in which everyone is not on the same page, in regards to trusting the breed. Rottweilers are NOT for everbody, and I completely respect your hesitance in regards to the stigma this breed carries with it. It would be terrible for you AND the dog if you feared the animal in ANY way, shape or form.
Rottweilers do have a tendency to be very hard headed, strong minded dogs, and, given that all dogs are stellar at reading our body language - If there is ANY hesitance on your behalf, any dominant, confident, self respecting dog will certainly pick up on your feelings, and likely test the waters - even the softest of dogs will do this.
Furthermore, keeping a clear line of hierarchy is important. There are MANY positive methods that can be utilized in maintaining a good "pack dynamic" in your household, but in order to achieve this, one must be confident about his/her ability to do so - especially with breeds like the rottweiler.... Dogs are honest animals, and they read our body language and understand it at face value.

I urge you to think about the factors you brought up regarding not wanting your new house soiled, or things ruined. Dogs shed (rottweilers shed A LOT), they bring in dirt, they get the "zoomies", they occasionally roll in stinky things, and jump on your couch... they steal dead squirrels from cats, and smear them on the walls (everything I am mentioning has happened in my home in the past 6 months...LOL).... This is life with a dog. To me, these are every day occurances, and are dealt with accordingly ...While I respect that you have a new home, and nice things... a dog will not have the same set of priorities as you do, and I fear that your back porch would be too handy of a place in which to banish the dog. This is no life for a dog that's been raised in the home.

If security is an issue for you, learn how to use a gun. If what you want is the companionship a dog can offer you and your family, then get a dog, but please be realistic in your expecations of what a dog can and will do for you. There are some excellent books on dog behavior ("The Culture Clash", by Jean Donaldson is a very good example, and is available on Amazon) that have been published in the past few years. Our understanding of dog behavior has improved a thousand-fold over the past 15 years or so. Before you decide to bring a dog into your home, I urge you to do some more research.... www.akc.org has a list of dog breeds, and the standard for each breed is available. Figure out what YOU want in a dog, and go from there. There is an excellent rottweiler discussion forum, which I urge you to join.... www.rottweiler.net ... there is a plethora of breed specific information on this forum, and some very knowledgable people who can, through education, assist you in deciding whether a rottweiler is the best dog for you and your family.

Again, please take the above information in the light in which it was intended - before you bring ANY dog into your home, research and learn some more - it's only fair to your family AND the dog. Life with a dog can be very rewarding, but there is a lot of work involved in truly understanding it's behavior..Acquiring a dog is not something that should be rushed into - I urge you to take your time, take stock in your situation, and really understand what your expectations are, and decide if they are truly realistic and fair to the dog AND your family. I want you to be happy with the decision you make, I want you to make a truly informed decision, and should you decide to get a dog, I'd like to see the dog you choose be part of your family, through and through. :)

If you have any questions, or need further help in researching things, please feel free to contact me - I will be more than happy to assist you.

Kindest regards,

xxxxx

[Brooke&Ryan]

What a wonderful, well thought out reply Elisabeth.

Thank you so much for posting it.

:)
Brooke

[Judi W]

Very nicely done. It is much that many of us have said and nice to see it in writing in order to "borrow" when the written word is more appropriate.

As one of our artists says "creativity is wonderful, but plagerism is faster"

[mmgy]

Good job girlie!!

Will you allow this letter to be plagiarized/adapted?

(It's not really Attila is it??? )

[Bucky's Mom]

What a GREAT reply - I think it should be a sticky called "Are you SURE you want a Rottweiler??"

It touches on and covers so MANY important issues - good job!

[Jaegergirl]

wow, that's a really great letter.

[poohbearsmom]

Originally Posted by mmgy

Good job girlie!!

Will you allow this letter to be plagiarized/adapted?

(It's not really Attila is it??? )

Plagerize away...LOL... Just trying to get someone to think realistically about the entire scenario, that's all.

While I'm not actively looking to place him, I would not object to Attila being homed IF that home would be better for him, than mine is. ;) However, I love him immensely, he really IS a joy to live with... AND, he is more than welcome to live out his days here, as long as he doesn't mind sharing me with the rest of the dogs. :)

Cheers all.

[Lookie]

This kind of letter should be sent to all families that have attempted to adopt a dog, and were turned down.

I was turned down once, as I didn't have a fenced yard at the time. This was before I came here and learned so much, not just about rottweilers, but about owning a dog in general. And I thought to myself, there are millions of dogs that need homes, and you are turning me down cuz I don't have a fenced yard for a dog that is gonna be inside all the time anyways, and that will be loved like crazy!!!! It seemed really stupid to me at the time.

Explaining it like you did makes all the sense in the world...and SO many people are just plain dog ignorant, I know I am, as I'm STILL learning!

Way to say it so eloquently!

[JoJo]

as long as he doesn't mind sharing me with the rest of the dogs.

Or doesn't mind sharing those "squirls" with you! :D

Great letter girlfriend. Lets hope this person reads it and "understands" fully of what you are saying. Maybe with some hope and prayers (for their future dog) they get a grip on reality.

JoJo

[spidey]

Great letter. And I very much like that it's not entirely breed-specific either - you raise issues that anyone considering ANY breed should think about. Thanks for posting this, it's very useful. I agree that it should be a sticky. I've told more than one person who asked me about getting a dog that they should pay more attention to breed fanciers who try to talk you OUT of their breed (i.e. those who discuss the cons before the pros for your specific situation - "yes, they're a wonderful breed, but they are not right for everyone, and here's why") than those who make it sound as if their breed is exactly right for you right off the bat (I'd much rather hear why I DON'T want a given breed, since in all likelihood, if I'm considering any specific breed, I already know what I LIKE about it, I need to know what I might NOT like).

[SABELLESMOM]

A wonderfully well thought out letter to say the least! Very well done. Something here, though, makes me wonder how much of it will go completely over their heads. People who don't understand Rotties still won't even with such an excellently written letter.

[poohbearsmom]

Some afterthoughts, as this has been weighing heavily on my mind for several days now.

I think it's important for folks to understand that when a decision about whether or not to place a dog in a home is made, a lot of emphasis is placed on the home's ability to fully embrace the rearing of the dog in question.

When I entitled the post "Why I will not home a dog with you at this time....", I did so, because it would not be out of the question to help place a dog with this family in the future - IF - the family would slow down a bit and truly explore all the justifications, expectations, and real life issues that come with taking on a dog.

In other words, I believe that this home has the potential to become a very good home for a dog, given the adults in the situation agree on what kind of dog is right for them, and they do the right homework before bringing a dog into their home. I don't necessarily think the best dog for them is a rottweiler, given the wife's misgivings about the breed. Not sure a fear like that can be truly rectified.

I really DO hope they receive my correspondence with open minds. It would be my pleasure to help them in any way I could, to help them reach a decision they will be happy with.

Random thoughts.....

[MontanaRott]

Very well written. It would be hard to be angry about being turned down with such a well thought out and easy to understand letter to read. I hope they do take it in the spirit you intended, learn from it and think long and hard about what they want from a dog.

[damp]

Very nice post... not only one, but two thumbs up!!!

[Luvs]

I too think this should be a sticky! It is very well written. You put alot of thought into this and it shows. I really hope that they take what you said to heart. Good job! ;)