jealousy???

[SASSY'S DAD]

I recently met a very nice woman who I plan to marry we have been together for about six monthes and have moved in together..She loves my dog dearly but somtimes when we are together my female rotty "Sassy" will stare at her or make noises like grumbling or a sort of whining noise..Sassy hes been with me since she was a baby and has always been my primary source of attention and I feel she is jealous of my fiancee and to make matters worse I feel there may be a dominance issue working it's way to the surface of this as Sassy ignores my fiancee when she gives the dog a command Sassy has always been a good natured well mannered attentive dog and I know she understands what she is being told but just doesn't feel my fiancee is in a position to give orders..Anyone been through this or somthing simular??

[Paxx]

I am moving this to General Info.

[Michael C.]

Well, when your fiancee gives the dog a command, she needs to make sure Sassy does what she says. If Sassy isn't listening and you let it go, it could be a problem down the road. Give some yummy treats to your fiancee and have her start doing obedience as if the dog were 8 weeks old. Just like you had to do when you first brought Sassy home. It sounds like she is jealous. As long as your fiancee is willing to spend some time with Sassy and be patient, you guys will be fine.

[okdwestfall]

I went through the same, but it was my Boston Terrier not my Rot. Still to this day Dudley (my dog) will never admit that he is friends with my husband, but when I'm not home he plays and even sits on my husbands lap. It was a long prosess, and took lots of patients and treats. I think my case was even worse than yours so have no fear it should work out in time. Dudley wouldn't even let my husband in the bed at first, and still (13 years later) if we are sitting next to one another the dog gets right between us.

[FredAl]

Please don't misread your dog's actions as jealousy because it is not. Jealousy, spite, revenge, etc. are human traits that dogs do not possess.

Your dog views your fiancee as a new member of the pack and, since your fiancee is the newbie, Sassy thinks that your fiancee should be at the bottom of the pack hierarchy; so she is trying to establish that with her.

Your fiancee should start working with her in obedience exercises and should follow the "dominance attitudes and exercises" discussed in this Forum. She should be firm, consistent and fair with Sassy in order to win her respect and acceptance as another pack leader.

It will also help if she gives Sassy her food, and to make sure that your fiancee commands her to sit and wait before she gives her the food.

If you think that Sassy will ignore your fiancee's commands, put Sassy on a leash before she starts working with her. That way, your fiancee can enforce the command.

[my2rotties]

Funny, I have the same problem with the Pit Bull I rescued two years ago. She has bonded with my husband, and will try to get in between us all the time. Of course I am not accepting of this behavior, but my husband always sticks up for her. She listens to me like clock work when he is not present, but as soon as he walks in the door, there goes all respect. I have had many heated arguements with the hubby over this, and always end up losing...

It makes it very difficult for me to like the dog, since any respect disolves when my husband comes home. He is away now on business, and she would never dream of not doing what I ask of her. She is on a badly needed diet now too, and is losing weight finally. However, when the hubby comes home, she is constantly mooching food from him once again. I just can't win, and I can't always argue to make a point.

My situation is different though. I am the one whom brought this little dog home from an abusive situation, and she knows that I was here LONG before she was. I do think if you work with your future wife and your girl together, things will pan out for everybody. Just try to listen to your "wife's" concerns, instead of blowing her off like my husband does to me.

[LisaMD]

It's all a matter of time. I was in your fiance's shoes. When I first met my husband, he had a dog (mutt but, a sweetie)that he had had for a long time. When I first tried to pet the dog, it nipped at me. I started staying the night and she would try to push me out of bed, she would get inbetween me and my now husband, when ever possible, she literally tried to keep us apart, she didn't like me.

I spent many hours of petting and loving that dog. Everytime I come home, I would act excited and childish and she loved it. I made sure I gave her extra attention when I would go over there. Even brought a special treat a couple of times.

When it came to giving commands: I had a hard time. I didn't want to hurt my efforts of getting on her good side (this is a mistake that I made but, nothing came of it), so I would be nice and tell her "no" and she would go and do it anyway. I would whine to my husband about this dog not listening to me. Then, I finally got sick of this dog not listening to me and I just cut down on her. When I gave a command, I gave a command, I yelled in the lowest meanest tone of voice "NO", then slowly she got the picture that I wasn't taking any crap and that basically, I was a higher rank then her.

Happy ending: We became the best of friends.


LisaMD
;)

[SASSY'S DAD]

I have been having my fiance' give her the food for a few weeks as for training the dog will just look at her but if I give the command it is an instant reaction she does it without hesitation I think I will give My fiance' a quick lesson in training and have them spend some time alone together while I watch from a window to oversee the situation and I do feel it is a jealousy problem as my fiance' cannot touch or sit next to me as the dog will push her way into the middle of us...