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General Info What size crate? Where to find insurance? If it doesn't quite fit in the other main forums, it goes here. We will add forums as needed.

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  #1  
Old 06-15-2002, 08:16 PM
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How do you handle dog haters?

The only things I got or wanted out of my divorce were my car, and 4-year-old rescued Rottie, Nyla. Since my current living situation does not allow pets, my parents took her. They were EXTREMELY leary of the idea since the largest dog they've ever owned is their 15 pound Scottie. However, they love her as much as I do (I didn't think that was possible!) and my Mom has especially bonded with her. She has the most wonderful disposition of any dog I have ever met.

Unfortunately I am her 6th owner, and she was abused previously. She has finally stopped cowering when someone goes to pet her, and wetting herself when someone approaches. I visit near daily. I went over a couple weeks ago and two of my parents aquaintances were there. The wife was great, petting the dog, talking to her, etc. Her husband was a complete ass, and when the dog approached he would sit back in the chair and speak loudly and ignore her presence. I would call her over to me.

She approached again and he struck her and yelled at her to get away. He made some ignorant comment about how dirty and miserable dogs are. I almost lost it, and the only reason I did not was because I did not want to embarass my parents. Had I done what I wanted to do, I would have gone to jail. Miraculously, I kept my mouth shut and walked out and called my mother later and made my feelings clear in no uncertain terms.

He was a guest in my dog's house as far as I was concerned, and his statements and actions were completely uncalled for. He might as well have hit and ran his mouth about a family member. Actually come to think of it, he did! My mother says she did not see him hit her, though admits his comments were rediculous.

Anyone experience blatant ignorance of this level in their own home? How did you handle it? Suggestions for the next time this guy visits? Thanks!
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  #2  
Old 06-15-2002, 09:38 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Phoenix, AZ
In my house I do not allow anyone to mistreat my dogs. Everyone who comes over knows the dogs are here and to respect my home and me (that means my dogs also). But not to the point of my letting the dogs climb all over them or be a pest. Since my dogs are rescues and I have had skittish dogs, I do not allow anyone to raise their hands or yell at my dogs. I think when in someone's home it is just common respect not to. On the other hand if I saw someone acting the way he did I would put the dog in another room just to protect her. Since it is your parents home there is not much you can do, other than maybe take the dog for a walk while he is there. If it were your home, I would say speak up and tell him not to scare your dog or he could leave. And yes I have told people in my home to be respectful of me and my dogs or get out.
sue
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  #3  
Old 06-15-2002, 10:43 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: USA
Exactly. There is no benefit to the dog or the uncomfortable person by continuing to have the dog in the room. Not everyone loves dogs. That is just a fact of life. Especially, it is not your home and your parents are kind enough to keep her, don't make them or their guests be put in an awkward position by her presence. Tell your mom to be sure to put Nyla in her crate or in another room or the yard when people who are not accustomed are over to visit. Even in my home, if someone is over that appears uncomfortable with the dogs, I simply put them up for the time of the visit. Better than my fussing at the dogs or people being uncomfortable or me getting angry.

By the way, it is best to simply admit that we handle dogs, not people. Once we accept that the whole thing becomes easier to figure out.
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  #4  
Old 06-15-2002, 10:44 PM
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Join Date: May 2002
very disrespectful people

I remember one time I had went to a lady house who bred collies
well we went up to the door and she had this really nice and plaque made and it hung on her door and it said " if you do not like my dogs you will not like me so please do not come in"
I had asked her where she had got it and she had mentioned she had gotten it from one of the dog shows she went to a long time ago..well I was really impressed.. it wasnt a rude sign it was very nice, it had a picture of a friendly dog on it. I wish I could find one like that...but I would never ever let anyone treat my dogs with any disrespect, rotties have enough crap to deal with out on the street just going for walks with all the negitivity from people thinking there vicious dogs... let alone in there/my own home with someone yelling and screaming at them...and if anyone ever laid a hand on one of my babygirls....
it would be all over....and Im not the violent type...and it is said and proven in domestic violence when a person can strike a pet they can strike a person... and its true people who beat there dog beat there wife.. I would not allow that man back in your house I would fear for your mom..
I am so angry myself right now
boy this just frys me, because if the dog had bit the man what would of happened to the dog?????
he would of bed put to sleep? its so unfair and if you are to let this to continue you are as guilty as the man for shouting or hitting this poor defensless dog. your job is to protect this dog..
:( so either put a stop to it or find someone that will protect this dog. and do it right a way not until after this guy smacks the dog a few more times or the dog bites him and gets put down....
if you really love the dog then you will really do something....

rompinrottie the mom to babygirls
tessa 8 year old spayed female rottie
brittany 6 year old spayed female rottie
jewel 5 year old spayed female rottie
flower 3 year old spayed mixed breed bassett/beagle rescue
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  #5  
Old 06-15-2002, 11:46 PM
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Location: Woodland Hills CA/USA
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If someone is not comfortable being around my dog, I don't expose my dog to them. I don't think it's good for HER. Since I'm the person and she's the dog, I consider it my job to protect her from those who would do her harm. I don't require people to interact with her when they come to my house, although I've not had anyone over that didn't want to. If I did, I would put her in another room that would be that.

You can't choose your parents friends, so that's not an option. I think when you see someone is uncomfortable with your dog, you should make sure she stays away from them completely. Will your mom put her in another room when this person visits?

The only time anyone has ever hit Luna was in the waiting room at the vet's office, and it was a little girl. Luna stretched her nose out to greet the girl and the child must have been afraid, because she drew back and smacked Luna a good one across her nose. I was quite surprised, as was her mother! She got a talking to about hitting animals, but I really think it was just a reaction to fear that she felt when faced with a big dog. Thank goodness Luna has such a good disposition, she took the whole thing in stride.

The little girl that hit Luna got off with a talking to because she was just a little girl, but if some obnoxious adult tried to hit her without cause, the mama bear in me would instantly appear! Needless to say, it's best to anticipate and avoid those types of situations. :)
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  #6  
Old 06-16-2002, 02:11 AM
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Location: Toronto, ON CANADA
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Ask people first!

The solution is simple:

When visitors enter the home, ask them how they feel about dogs! ;)

If they say they love them, wonderful. You can then explain that Nyla is a rescue Rottie and can be very shy. However you encourage her to meet new people. Should she approach you, please speak in comforting tones and let her greet you. It's great therapy for her! :) blah blah blah..... You get the picture. ;)

If they say they're uncomfortable around them, simply excuse yourself for a moment and place her in her crate, in another room, etc. There is no reason for her to interact with someone who will not be a positive influence on her. Nor is there any reason to make the visitors in the home uncomfortable intentionally. But I would be sure to explain to them that this is a dog-friendly home. ;)

I think what went wrong in this situation was that you didn't know how this man would react. No one in their right mind would think that a guest in someone else's home would ever strike the family pet! However, the error here was not asking in the first place.

Best of luck with her future encounters! :D

P.S. For the record - your parents friend sounds like a real jerk. I can't say that I would have behaved any where near as restrained as you did. He was TOTALLY WRONG and deserves to be treated in the same manner as he behaved - BADLY.
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Last edited by TrishB; 06-16-2002 at 02:35 AM.
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  #7  
Old 06-16-2002, 02:24 AM
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How do you handle dog haters

Dog haters? I simply do not have anything to do with them and they are not welcome in my home. Did your parents say anything to this "guest" if that's what you call a person who misbehaves in someone elses home. If it were my home he would not get past the front door and would get an earful from me to boot as he was told to leave and not to come back. Here is a man who is missing out on one of the best things life has to offer, the love and respect of a dog. More fool him.
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  #8  
Old 06-16-2002, 09:47 AM
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Ugh, what a complete jerk! I can't believe he actually hit Nyla. I would have freaked out on this guy. True, not everyone likes dogs, but that is NO reason to strike one. Period.
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  #9  
Old 06-16-2002, 12:02 PM
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Join Date: May 2002
I appreciate all of your responses! Point taken on the ball being in my court to start with, but in all my life I have never seen anything quite that rude. EVERYONE who has ever met this dog has fallen in love with her, and I beleive she has successfully converted some whose opinions of Rotties were what the media would have them beleive.

I talked with my Mom about it again, and she said she thought, as did I, that this guy was just mildly uncomfortable, and her theory was "tough crap, it's our house". The comment that gets me the most is in your responses is "what would have happened if she bit him." I'd never forgive myself if something happened to her over a P.O.S. like that! Especially after she had a hard way to go to start with for the first 3 years of her life!

It's been about a month or more now since it happened, and this is my first post here. I did not post about it earlier because I was still too angry. We live in a beach resort area, and this guy visists a few weeks out of the year. I imagine it is too late to say something, and even if I did, whatever I said would still come accross like I was communcating a threat. But since I am not always there, and my Mom has taken the "it's her house" attitude (referring to Nyla) I hope things don't get ignorant again.

Mom cares more about that dog than she does me sometimes! There's hair ALL OVER the house, and I mean massive quantities of it, and Mom doesn't even care. She now vaccuums every day. My cold-hearted father has begun to refer to the dogs as "the girls"!!! (gag me...) They brush her every day, she's gained 8 pounds, and she sits on the deck of the second floor for hours watching birds and enjoying the breeze. It still ticks me off that even if just for a minute, this guy rained on her happy little existance... I need to insure that it does not happen again.
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  #10  
Old 06-16-2002, 12:47 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: USA
As I said, not everyone likes dogs and although you believe Nyla has converted many to be her friends, don't try to prove a point with someone who genuinely doesn't like the critters. She might convert someone who doesn't mind dogs, or someone who was unsure of the breed, but for a person who truly does not like them, all she is going to do is annoy them. Tell mom for Nyla's sake, to simply put her up as you don't want her to experience someone who doesn't like her. Mom will understand that.
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  #11  
Old 06-16-2002, 12:57 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Re: How do you handle dog haters

Quote:
Originally posted by Anne
Dog haters? I simply do not have anything to do with them and they are not welcome in my home.
yep!!!

They can all go take a long walk on a short pier ;)

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  #12  
Old 06-16-2002, 05:47 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Oxford, CT USA
Images: 49
To the 'Dog Hater'

This are my pets,
I love them best,
This is MY home,
YOU are a guest,
If you should find,
MY pets a peeve,
Then by all means
FEEL FREE TO LEAVE

This is on a small plaque hanging by my front door. It gets people attention! Almost everyone coming into the home knows we have five dogs, each over 85 lbs...and if anyone has a problem with the dogs, they usually don't come over!!! I have very few friends that are uncomfortable around the dogs...most of my freinds I have met thru rescue anyways...they're all used to big dogs asking for attention!
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  #13  
Old 06-16-2002, 06:41 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Toronto, ON CANADA
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Quote:
Originally posted by obxemt
I talked with my Mom about it again, and she said she thought, as did I, that this guy was just mildly uncomfortable, and her theory was "tough crap, it's our house". ....

We live in a beach resort area, and this guy visists a few weeks out of the year. I imagine it is too late to say something, and even if I did, whatever I said would still come accross like I was communcating a threat. But since I am not always there, and my Mom has taken the "it's her house" attitude (referring to Nyla) I hope things don't get ignorant again.
If this guy is coming back - he needs to be spoken to BEFORE he enters your home. Some one as ignorant as that might take advantage of the situation. He may taunt Nyla so that she does snap just so he can prove his point (I've seen jerks like that do it before).

A simple statement like: "I understand that during your last visit that Nyla upset you in some way. I will be happy to place her in another room if she makes you uncomfortable. If you don't mind her, than I'll leave her out. However, you are NOT welcome to reprimand or correct our dog. If she is bothering you, please let us know and we will take care of her. She is our pet and is not subject to non family members punishing her."

Either way - he'll know that you're giving him the option to not interact with the dog, that you are aware of his previous behaviour and that you won't tolerate it again.

Best of luck! :)
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  #14  
Old 06-16-2002, 08:09 PM
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Trish, you're way too polite! :D A person with an attitude like that man hasn't earned any options! No choices for someone like him in my house, I'd take control and make sure the dog didn't have to put up with him! ;)
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  #15  
Old 06-16-2002, 08:14 PM
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Location: Toronto, ON CANADA
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Quote:
Originally posted by moondog
Trish, you're way too polite! :D A person with an attitude like that man hasn't earned any options! No choices for someone like him in my house, I'd take control and make sure the dog didn't have to put up with him! ;)
hehehe Maybe so.

I just didn't want this jerk to enter the home again and think that his behaviour was welcome or appropriate. He needs to be told, before he enters. I was hoping that was his first and last visit - but it seems as though he's coming back. He needs to be told (in whichever manner you feel happy with ;)).

Honestly though - if someone hits one of my pets, they had better hit the ground running....
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Valen, Hemlocks ICame ISaw IConquered
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