Obsessive groomer

[shifty]

Just a quick question for all the other rotty people here:

My girl is a passionate groomer, herself and me.

In the mornings she wakes me up with a 10 min ear clean, face wash and hair check. I mean it she will spend 10 mins every morning first checking my hair then beard after which she cleans my ears and then finishes it off with a face wash.
Every night when I say "bed time!" she jumps in and as soon as I climb in she does the whole thing again. She will usually give my wife a quick once over but no where near the total and complete grooming she gives me.

We have no aggression or food issues with her and she is more than willing to share her food with the other dogs, but nobody gets to sleep next to my chest but her. She does not act aggressively to protect her "pole position' on the bed just just lays there like a deadbeat-bastard lump of clay and does not move. My wife actually has to roll her over like a log.

Anybody else have in the in house grooming service or is it just one of her many idiosyncrasies?

[brunie's mom]

Sounds like very pushy behavior to me.
Why are you allowing her to groom you? Get her out of your bed and into her own bed on the floor and stop allowing her to groom you.

It sounds like she is running the show...and I see no reason why you are letting her do this.

Gina

[cocopuffs]

My girl always likes to lick my beard too

[shifty]

Originally Posted by brunie's mom

Sounds like very pushy behavior to me.
Why are you allowing her to groom you? Get her out of your bed and into her own bed on the floor and stop allowing her to groom you.

It sounds like she is running the show...and I see no reason why you are letting her do this.

Gina

Well I am not sure if I agree with that assessment. "Dogs are pack animals and in the wild, dogs and wolves groom each other as part of normal pack social behavior and subordination."


I see no reason to force her to cease her natural social ways if it is not offensive to me nor causing a problem in the household. Our bed is their bed and they wait for us to get in before they are allowed to enter so there is no real pushy or aggressive behavior there. I mean they wait for permission to come up. When it is cold they want to sleep next to the warm spots when it is hot they want to be separate and close to the fan. It all seems to make sense to me.

How many of us have big dead beat dogs that lie there like logs? Rotts are famous for that. I think my question was just to get an idea of how many owners here get the grooming sessions. Maybe I was not clear in that; my bad.

It can't just be my rott I mean she learned it from her older sister and has now taught it to her younger sister. They all groom each other constantly, and all want to be allowed the privilege of grooming us. I may be totally wrong here but I don't see it as pushy at all; in fact i see it as an affectionate and loving way of her maintaining the social bond and pack order in my house.

[brunie's mom]

Originally Posted by shifty

Well I am not sure if I agree with that assessment. "Dogs are pack animals and in the wild, dogs and wolves groom each other as part of normal pack social behavior and subordination."


I see no reason to force her to cease her natural social ways if it is not offensive to me nor causing a problem in the household. Our bed is their bed and they wait for us to get in before they are allowed to enter so there is no real pushy or aggressive behavior there. I mean they wait for permission to come up. When it is cold they want to sleep next to the warm spots when it is hot they want to be separate and close to the fan. It all seems to make sense to me.

How many of us have big dead beat dogs that lie there like logs? Rotts are famous for that. I think my question was just to get an idea of how many owners here get the grooming sessions. Maybe I was not clear in that; my bad.

It can't just be my rott I mean she learned it from her older sister and has now taught it to her younger sister. They all groom each other constantly, and all want to be allowed the privilege of grooming us. I may be totally wrong here but I don't see it as pushy at all; in fact i see it as an affectionate and loving way of her maintaining the social bond and pack order in my house.

Whatever thrills you.
You have dogs, this is not a pack of wolves. Dogs are dogs, and humans are humans. You are not their pack. Dogs also lick their genitals, and their ass to clean themselves...and then want to lick your face and groom you.

Your title says "obsessive groomer"...this sounds to me that it's being overdone. It also sounds to me like she is claiming you like a possession. She is not treating you like the leader you should be.

Your wife cannot move the dog in your bed? This also sounds pushy. When a dog has more power the human, and is allowed to do what it wants because "it likes it"...then it is pushy.

Not sure how cold it get's, but I doubt that it is so cold where you live that the dogs need to be in your bed because of warmth. They have a perfectly fine coat. Try treating these dogs like the working dogs they are...not substitute children.

Gina

[Nishasmom]

Nisha is a licker...although not an obsessive one. I feel like this is how she shows her love to us . While watching tv, she will lovingly lick our feet or legs (I don't like her to lick our faces...this transfers to licking guests faces ). We only allow it for a few minutes because I don't want her to become obsessive. Once we say "okay" or "thats enough" she stops and goes to sleep or chews on her bone.

I do think you need to rethink the dog in bed situation. We recently started letting Nisha have bed privileges...during the day. If we are watching a movie or something she is allowed up to cuddle...once the lights go out, she must go on the floor to her own bed. When we say "bed time" she hops off the bed and onto her doggie pillow . She loves being in the same room with us (we used to kennel her at night in a different room) but she NEVER even tries to get on the bed at night. How are you and your wife intimate with a dog between you? I always say no dogs in the bed...which will transfer to no kids in the bed. A bed is a special place for you and your partner....your dog does not need to be interfering with this.

[shifty]

Originally Posted by Nishasmom

Nisha is a licker...although not an obsessive one. I feel like this is how she shows her love to us . While watching tv, she will lovingly lick our feet or legs (I don't like her to lick our faces...this transfers to licking guests faces ). We only allow it for a few minutes because I don't want her to become obsessive. Once we say "okay" or "thats enough" she stops and goes to sleep or chews on her bone.

I do think you need to rethink the dog in bed situation. We recently started letting Nisha have bed privileges...during the day. If we are watching a movie or something she is allowed up to cuddle...once the lights go out, she must go on the floor to her own bed. When we say "bed time" she hops off the bed and onto her doggie pillow . She loves being in the same room with us (we used to kennel her at night in a different room) but she NEVER even tries to get on the bed at night. How are you and your wife intimate with a dog between you? I always say no dogs in the bed...which will transfer to no kids in the bed. A bed is a special place for you and your partner....your dog does not need to be interfering with this.

It is the same with ours when I say knock it off she will stop the grooming, but then she will switch to one of her sisters. As for the bed thing If I actually stand up and say out! will will get off and leave the room but if we are just trying to push her over a bit, she just lies there like a deadbeat..

As for B mom's comment: The family, including the humans and dogs, is her pack; that is the only social structure she understands or will ever understand. Modified albeit but still a functional pack. Wherein lies the hierarchy; maintaining this structure in a manner which they respond to helps to keep them secure and keep the peace in the house hold.

Obviously we disagree on this matter but I don't think you need to resort to snide comments to make your point? I think we can disagree on this matter with out taking cheap shots at each other, yes?

There is no quantitative authority on these matters it is all subjective, what works with in reason works. We have a happy house with well behaved dogs: no aggression, no food issues. All three sit and wait to be given permission to eat, they sit and wait at the door for us to exit first, they sit and wait to be given permission to get on the bed etc.. yes dogs clean their genitals as well as their coats, each other's eyes ears etc...so do I every day.
You have no idea how cold it gets where I am yet to tell me you don't think it gets cold enough to warrant them requiring the warm of another body at night....

Is this really who you are or did I just catch you on a bad day?
You can do better.