Roxie Likes Him Better!!!

[RoxiesMama]

All right, I just don't get it! I'm the one who wanted the Rottweiler. I'm the one who takes care of her every day, all day long, feeding, playing, training, and letting her out to potty. So why is it that my Roxie has decided she likes my husband better?! He comes home from work each night and she runs right to him with her tail just'a waggin' and is so excited to see him. Which is great and wonderful! He is the last one to put her to bed at night and gets her up in the morning before he goes to work. Then she has me all day. I'm a stay at home Mom.

Last night, DuWayne was working with her and giving her treats. She did everything he said and followed him everywhere he went. I thought, "Cool. I'll do that tomorrow." So I set out with my handful of treats and was ready for training. Roxie has a beautiful sit and sits on command. No treats needed but they're a great reward anyway. Then came the down. Down, Down, Down, Down, Down, BARK! She downed for a second and came back up. Everytime I told her down, it was like she didn't want to "submit" to ME! She would bark at me every time. She would go down, but would bark to let me know that she wasn't happy about it. But she did it anyway.

So I began walking around the backyard, showing her the treats in my hand. She'd follow for a few steps and then lay down. Last night she followed DuWayne everywhere he went. Today, she didn't want to follow me more than a few steps. I've been her #1 trainer. I walk her, I feed her, I train her, I do everything for her. So why does she submit for DuWayne and not me?

If you have read earlier posts, you would know that DuWayne has used "force" with her: grabbing her muzzle when she bites mostly. I have not done this. He seems to have shown her that he is the Alfa through this "force" though. DuWayne says I have not earned her respect by showing her that I am also the Alfa because I'm too easy on her: saying No Bite and giving her a toy or trying to redirect her.

So how do I gain the respect from my Roxie that my husband has received without having to "hurt" her?

Thanks,
RoxiesMama

[TR Young]

Welllll, his grabbing of her muzzle was only a temporary hurt, and it mimics actions of the alpha leader in the wild. When an alpha in the wild gets irritated with another member of the pack, there is a LOT of noise, a bite or two, a yelp from the offender, and it is all over with that quickly. DuWayne has established himself as that alpha with his squeezing of her muzzle, among his other training. It OBVIOUSLY has not had a negative effect on her; she wants to be with him always. I know that some people on RDN are not advocates of the muzzle squeeze, but I am not one of them. I encourage it. There is a huge difference between a corrective squeeze and animal abuse. Even though I don't know you or your husband, it sounds to me like he treats Roxie well. If he didn't, she wouldn't wand to be around him. Animals aren't dumb, and she knows that she gets positive attention from him, while trying to please him. I don't know your methods or actions while training Roxie, but I'd suggest having DuWayne show you what he does, and become a student of that.
Keep us posted!

[Tywaknya'sBABY]

Originally Posted by RoxiesMama

Then came the down. Down, Down, Down, Down, Down, BARK!

I know exactly what u mean!
I agree with TR Young. It doesn't hurt her. Also look her in the eyes and mean what you say. Don't give off the impression that she has a choice. As I'm going through this now I'll say it doesn't work ALL the time but with the right attitude and some NILIF training she'll realize that you two aren't equal and will be following you around soon.

[SABELLESMOM]

Watch your husband's training methods more closely. There is obviously something in his manner, posture, signal ortone of voice of attitude that Roxie "hears" it from him.

Training shouldn't be about submission. I suppose as an end result a correct performance is in a sense submission, but I dislike the word. I prefer willing work!

I want my dogs to figure out what I want and take pride in "getting it right." You as the trainer need to be more interesting than distractions, sounds and other dogs. Are you involved in formal training or doing something on your own?

I prefer very positive training. Clicker training provides that for me, but is certainly not the only way.

So, you need to watch your husband. You need to avoid negative teaching (bending over the dog, repeating a command more than once.) Never give a command if you are not in a position to follow thru. (Like when your arms are full of groceries.)

And if you want the dog to greet you as se does your husband? You need to get out of the house once in a while. Then do something FUN when you get back!

[Gunsey'sMom]

It is because he is being more assertive with her, Gunner and I went through the same thing in reverse-I did his training drills and fed him, watered him, and picked up poo, so he became a mama's boy-but then BF became more assertive with his corrections , and he became the apple of his daddy's eye, and a little beligerant with me I might add. Like TR and the others said, hubby is being viewed as the pack leader right now.

I re-evaluated what I was doing with his training drills, and my behavior. I realized I wasn't reinforcing commands 100% (making him follow through with what I say) and started doing that pronto-it the tables are turning in both mommy & daddys favor now, but there will always be one person our Rott will be deeply bonded to in your family-I choose to believe that it it me! lol

[RoxiesMama]

Ok, get this: One of my neighbor's sons came over today. He's 23 and has been over before and Roxie likes him too. I've already said many times, "Roxie likes men!" Well today she proved it to me! I had John give her treats just like DuWayne and I have been doing. Sure enough, she sat down perfectly for him and downed for him without barking!!! Ok so it's a guy thing and not just my husband vs. me thing. So again I ask-what can I do to get her to listen to me without her obeying grudgingly with barks first? She does listen to me, but lets me know she's not happy about having to obey another "woman!" So she's a flirt, what can I say!

Thanks,
RoxiesMama

[mel07]

boy, can i relate to this! i'm at home with Izzy all day, i walk him, train him, play with him BUT my husband gets 100% respect and affection, while Izzy is constantly challenging me ...
i too think it's because i don't enforce 100% (at times, it's just tooo draining) and i know it's something i need to work on. i also think it has something to do with my tone of voice or body language. hopefully this will all be addressed when we start our one-on-one sessions with the trainer.

[Tywaknya'sBABY]

Guys carry themselves differently than we do naturally. Think about your body language. They can read your uneasiness and lack of confidence like a book. Think G.I. Jane if you have to Don't have the men thinking they have the upper hand. It's been done before

[jody elisa]

its definetley a man thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my 6 month old rottie spends all day with me and my 2 children and has more respect for my husband-who is at work all day! what going on? i train my rottie every day with basic commands etc,and sometimes she challenges me,but the minute she hears my husbands key in the door she starts to act like the children(butter wouldnt melt in her mouth trick)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think us women are too soft when it comes to dicipline! we should be all show our men what we are made of, thanks ,jody elisa

[JemarsSerena]

My wife can absolutely relate to this. I have to leave the room when she is training with Serena because Serena will look at me as if to ask "Is it OK if I listen to her?" I do thing that many (not necessarily most) men carry themselves with a greater air of confidence. For example: When I walk Serena my arm is relaxed straight down and I walk with the assumption that Serena will stay at my side. When my wife walks her, her elbow is bent in preparation for Serena to pull which she does. Same leash, same dog, different arm position. I tried to walk behind them so that I could see what my wife was doing and give pointers and all Serena wanted to do was look back at me with the same look as I mentioned earlier. Just keep practicing and be confident. Never accept a lazy half hearted response from the dog. If you want the best out of your pup, put the best in to your efforts.

[spoiledbabies3]

Ditto the advice everyone else has provided! If you have a video camera, tape your DH with her and then have him tape you with her. I think you might be surprised at the difference in body position and this makes all the difference in the world with training. Roxie is looking for certain mannerisms and if you don't have them, she won't cooperate. We have the same issues here at my house, but reverse. Deja challenges me, and loves her daddy...but when it comes time to train he can't get her to do it. She does beautifully for me...and what we discovered was the "tone" of our voice. I am very definitive when I give a command, "sit", "down", "stay", "down time", "wait", whatever it may be. We noticed my DH voices the command softer and she just looks at him like "right, and you want me to do what?" We also noticed that he has a different body position when he gives the command, i.e., when I command her to down I am standing directly in front of her and in an upright position. However, when he gives the command he leans forward with the treat in his hand. See the difference? Well we didn't notice these things until we actually taped them and started comparing. He has since started altering his commands and voice and he is much more effective now. Although he does tend to "give in" to her and she "milks it for all it's worth".... He's learning 100% follow through or Deja will win! He travels a lot and he hasn't learned how NOT to give in to those big ole brown eyes she is good at giving him....LOL...Good luck with Roxie and hope this helps!

[AngelBunny]

It may well be that Roxie just likes men better.

Our current 6 yo foster DOTES on my DH. Every other foster we've had for the 8 years we've been fostering has been "my" boy. I am the primary caregiver and trainer of the dogs in our home, both personal and fosters. It's been this way for the years and years we've had Rotties. I take the dogs to class. I show the dogs. On more than one occasion when the dogs have done something DH doesn't like--like our two girls posturing--DH has told me to "Do something." If DH tells the dog to do something, Fido may or may not do it, depending on what Fido feels like doing. But, Fido knows if I tell Fido to do something, Fido does it or else.

Our current foster's preference has nothing to do with Mo's training ability, his posture, his forcefulness, his body language. He simply likes him better than me.

[RottsNScotts]

It also is a function of her seeing you all day and only getting to see him for part of the day.

You will also see this in the difference between a dog's reaction to toys if they are on the floor and available all the time vs. only having them brought out for specific play or work.

[TJK291]

Boy this is just the opposite for me. My GF is at home with Caesar all day and is his trainer and the one that does everything for him. He is 4 months old and will not bite her and listens very well to her. But when i come home it is crazy time, biting barking etc. But the funny thing is when I put a leash on that dog he is totally different to me. He heels, sits, does not bite at all. He is 10X better with me on the leash than when my GF has him on leash. I really hate to have him on leash all the time but I guess that's what i have to do

[xenabuster]

i to have the same thing in my house im at home with the dogs doing everything my husband is at work but as soon as he comes in buster is all over him it used to hurt me that i didnt get the same and i know its silly but it really bothered me now i just think well buster loves me in his own special way (i hope) lol