Separation Anxiety

[craftylady]

Hi...I am new to this group and need some advice for a problem my girl has. I have a 22 month old (altered) female that I rescued from an abusive home when she was 4 1/2 months old. The man in her house was mean to her - kicked her down the stairs because she growled at him when he came up the steps at 3 am and was just mean to her...he said her head was not big enough..... The Lady of the house "gave" her to me (thats another story...lol) at any rate....she has been my constant companion since then. She is by far the sweetest and smartest Rottie I have owned.....3 others in the last 35 years....She really is a doll baby...BUT...there are times when it is just impractical to take her with me...Doctors office, too hot or cold, etc....well my husband works night shift and sleeps during the day and he said that it is cruel for me to leave her because she absolutely breaks down.....she howls....not whines....throws her head back and howls...she paces.....she whines...she is constantly pulling my curtins in the big window down.... looking for me ...she used to crap one terd in front of my computer chair (we are over that ....so far...knock on wood!) She has went thru screens to get to me when I stepped outside, she has climbed a 5 ft chain link fence to get to me when I was on the other side of it and she thought I was leaving. We are very very rural and my only neighbors are my son and newphew and thier familys. My son has a rottie (a brother to her actually)and my newphew has german sheppards...the dogs are alll very social and Sativa and I visit them all the time.....if she escapes that is where she goes..looking for me ..My newphew and niece babysat for 4 days for me just a couple of weeks ago...first time Sativa and I have been apart for any length of time....they said she was great ....got along with kids and thier sheppards....she loved their puppy.... I am not sure how to interpret what is going on with her....was she ok there because of a new surroundings and her mind was occupied?...my girlfriend was here one day and I had to run to the store....I was gone 15 mins....she was with Sativa and she said it was horrible......she said she howled the whole time.... or is it just because she has a gasoline butt? She has had no formal obiedience training but is so very smart and listens very well....we take walks and play and work on manners every day...I think she just loves me as much as I love her and is afraid she will be left but she needs to get over it and I need to know how to help her. When I first got her she was absolutley petrified of the car....so we worked thru that ...now she has her own seat belt.....and she does love to go bye byes. I hate to see her ...and my hubby...so tramatized! Thanks in advance for the advice! You can just call me Lynn....Sativas mommy!

[scooterjohansen]

She sounds like she is a good girl. If you can get her to wear a seatbelt you can show her that you will come back for her. Leave her for a small time, then come back. When you come back praise her for being patient and waiting for you to get back. Extend the time you are away gradually and consistantly. In time, you can go away for a long time and she will know that you will be back.

Hope this helps.

[craftylady]

Would it help to have someone in the house correcting the behavior when I leave her ?Hubby says that does not work...she will lay down for a few mins ...and then starts again. I think he is giving up to soon, he said she does not give it up! lol He said she was actually eating and whining at the same time once....She is always happy to see me when I come home...prances...which we are working on and whines .....I make her set and then I praise her and say hello to her...Sometimes I will set down and she will try to sneak up on my lap...(she thinks she weighs 10 lbs)...by pushing her butt back on my lap.....point is she trys to demand attention from me when I come home...we are working on it but she really seems to suffer when I leave.

[Judi W]

well, if she was not dependent to begin with, being treated as an invalid who must have a nursemaid every minute of the day could turn her into one. She has not needed to learn to relax on her own because she always has a keeper.

Put her in a crate and go run your errands. Go out to dinner. (do you normally hire a sitter if you both want to go out to dinner?). I suspect that you have felt somewhat complimented by believing she suffers when you are gone and thus do patterns get formed. She acts whiney, and someone feels sorry for her and tries to make her feel better. She gets rewarded for being a pill and does more of it and the circle continues to turn.

Of course she should be corrected for behaving badly and then put in the crate and ignored. When she demands attention, she should be told to back off. Attention should only be giving when you choose not because she demands it. You've had her for more than a year and a half. Time to treat her with the respect that you believe her intelligent enough to learn and to behave like a responsible dog. You can do it, but you will have to resolve to quite babying her.

[craftylady]

I can understand what you mean..and I never looked at it that way. But...I do not have a crate and I really do not think she has ever been in one...I have never used a crate so I am not sure how to handle that one.

As far as feeling special when she acts that way......... well probably you are right there too...I probably need her more than she really needs me!

Thanks for the advice and the welcome!

[Judi W]

Purchase or borrow a crate. The crate gives you a place to put her so she can't run around whining at the windows and working herself up into an emotional state. It also gives her a break as well as you. Determine that you are going to help her grow up and act like the proud breed she is supposed to be.

[craftylady]

Well I am still pondering the idea of the crate. My husband does not like the idea of putting her in one...so ...in my opinion he is the one that should be working with her to make her understand she is not acting in an acceptable way....I am thinking I need to train him on how to train her !!! I think he uses too many words with her and confuses her...is that possible?
I took her to a rabies clinic her vet and our community was having yesturday. I was rather nervous as she has been socialized to a couple of the neighborhood dogs and my sons rottie but has never been in a really social situation like that. I counted about 40 other dogs in line with us...she sat at my feet...very alert to her situation...but very calm ..not even barking!! I was so proud of her. The assembly line (for lack of a better description) was set up in an outside pavillion (at our community park) First thing she had to do was jump up on a picnic table so she could recieve her shots...jump down....then I go to next picnic table to pay. Well she is too big for me to pick up so I am coaxing her up on the picnic table.....she jumps right up ....thank you - right?....next thing I know I go to the picnic table to pay and Sativa jumps up on the table the papers go flying and the vets wife is laughing and Sativa is so proud...well I got her down immediately and the corrected her..but she certainly seem be eager to meet and greet everyone...even if she had to get on tables to do it. I was very proud of her and her manners even tho I know she should not have jumped on the second table. I just think she was aiming to please.

[Judi W]

Well, I'm going to be a bit stern in my response.

Does that mean that you and your husband can never go anyplace together because the dog cannot be left home alone? Even if you two don't want to go any place together, you just might each want to go someplace at the same time. By refusing to allow your dog to develop any responsibility, your lives and home being controlled by a dog.

Time to get over trying to make up for the fact that she was abused when a baby. That time is long gone. This is one of the most frequent causes of behavior problems for rescue animals. The mistaken idea that spoiling them will make them feel better, but the truth is, living in a good home makes them feel better and spoiling them makes the cripples and often thoroughly unlikeable in the long run.

So, he blames the behavior because of your absence, and you are going to blame him for not wanting to crate.

[LUVMYROTTNBOY]

"My husband does not like the idea of putting her in one"


I have a dog that is crate trained. Really it’s the best thing for the dog. He knows he has his own area; he often lays in his crate to nap during the days. I’m at home right now not working, so he has free roam of the house every day. Yet he still chooses to go into his crate for naps. He is only locked in the crate when we leave home. I think that by having him in the crate when we are gone he feels secure. He knows when we come home, the crate is opened and he is free to come out.

Don’t think of the crate as a punishment, its not. It may take some time for you to train your dog to get used to the crate, but at some point it will learn that he/she has a special place. I would also work on getting the dog into a formal obedience course, would help in so many ways (your & your husbands understanding of the behavior, bring up your dogs confidence, etc). I worked with dogs as a vet tech, and I have always been around dogs or lived with dogs. I still learned a ton of new information from my dog trainer.

Best of luck..

[Platzz]

Follow the crate advice above. You & hubby need to get that "surrogate child" thing out of your heads. It's dog not a human. There are time when the crate is the right place to be.

That being said I've been very sucessful with helping a few people with dog seperation "issues". One thing that helps is having a signal for when your going to be gone for a long period of time.

If I'm taking out the trash for a few minutes I just go out. When I leave for work I rub the top of the dogs head in a circle. That's the signal that I'm leaving for a while. It's also the ONLY time I do that (circle rub) My old dog(s) just go find a spot & settle down. The puppy curls up in her crate( verses standing in it wiggling her stub tail.)

[craftylady]

Well after reading the advice and pondering on it I have to agree I think a crate is the answer...I just want her to be secure and know that I am not abandoning her and the crate (her own space) seems to be a very logical, safe and smart thing to do....I will be shopping around...is there anything I need to look for in a crate that makes one type better than another? I really know nothing about crates and any advice will be helpful.
I do intend to put her in an official obiedience class...problem is we are very very rural and their really is not alot around here. The couple people that I have found did not really want to take on a grown rottie...if she was a baby it would be different. Her disposition is so good and she is so gentle I would like to get her into some type of therapy dog program but have been unable to find anything in the Western Maryland or Eastern Pan handle of West Virginia...I am about 150 miles from Washington DC and most of the programs I have found require that you be within a certain amount of miles from the training site and we are too far. Any ideas?

I want to take this time to thank all for the responses. I am so happy that I have found this site and the advice is unbelievable...I feel like I have a vet/dog trainer/breeder/ and rottie expert in my back pocket. What a welcome find! Thank you for you expertise and information!

[craftylady]

Just wanted to add...Judi..you are right ..it is making her a cripple and NO I do not want to do that to her. Thank you for pointing that out to me..I just want to be a good responsible rottie owner (oh dear did I want to say MOMMY...but notice I didn't....maybe there is hope!) and do what is best for her. She is so worth the effort!

[Judi W]

Well, good, we've gotten you to drop the "mommy", now we just have to get the thought that leads to the word out of your mind. "I just want her to be secure and know that I am not abandoning her".......... she is a dog! She is not a child and does not think in terms of being abandoned.

Think of it this way. Usually the reasons a person selects a Rottweiler are because they admire the breed, its beauty, pride and strength of character. To then take a dog with the potential of that and turn it into a titty baby is to turn it into a charactature of the breed rather than to develop those things that make the breed admireable. Whilst it might be not so horrible to do that to a King Charles, it is certainly a horrible thing to do to the Rottweiler.

Most sincerely, now get busy allowing her and teaching her to grow up to her potential.

[craftylady]

Judy, you are so right....all the reasons I own a rottweiler are exactly what you descirbed....now can you help me by telling me what to look for in a crate....and how on earth do I get her to get in it .....maybe put some of her "things" in it and try to get her used to it first? I really know nothing about crate training! Again...thanks for the advice!

[Judi W]

Well, I'm a bit old-fashioned in many respects. Put dog in crate with a nice marrow bone to chew, close door and leave. If she pitches a fit, vaccum so you don't hear it or go buy groceries. I would suggest at least one hour.