Am I correct in feeling reluctant to find a new owner for our Rottie?

[JohnSoPA]

This is my first post here, but I have been an avid reader/learner for the past four months. I am ashamed that my first post is this type of post, but I crave input from the community here.

We rescued our Rottweiler, Xena, in April of this year. She is five years old, unfortunately not spayed; we have her current on all shots, vet visits, etc. Her only known health issue right now is that she has mild entropia. No dysplasia, etc.

Prior owners seemed to be good to her, but they got divorced and neither owner could care for her due to work, housing, etc. We were told there were no behavior issues, but one never knows for sure.

My wife and I have three children (8, 6 and 3 yrs old). We also have one other dog (40 lb female spaniel/shepherd/lab mix) that is 12 years old (our first "child" really).

Xena has adjusted wonderfully to our family. We have a lot of land (5+ acres in the middle of 400 acres of woods and pasture). Xena loves the openness.

After the first two weeks of acclimation, she has demonstrated appropriate behavior at ALL times with me, my wife and our three children. She is incredibly submissive to me (actually, it's getting a little bit overboard sometimes) and is also submissive to my wife and to the children. Entire family takes part in feedings at various times, play time, etc.

We noticed that when other children would come to our house to play, occasionally, Xena would try to herd and nip if the visiting children would run and scream with our kids. My wife witnessed it once and I was present once. I had a CTJ with Xena on both occasions, but we now put Xena in the basement when other children come over.

We had one bad incident when a charitable organization's truck came to pick up some donations. My wife went out to greet the parked truck and the two workers. The truck's loading door was up and one guy was in the truck and another just jumped down. My wife thought she closed the inside door, but Xena squeezed out beside my wife (who was about 15 feet from the men at this point) and ran to the closest man, bit him on the thigh (he did the right thing by just standing still). This was probably a clamp & hold attempt, not an "attack" attempt. My wife grabbed Xena and took her inside immediately. The worker said he was fine, but the bite punctured skin and his foreman required him to visit the hospital. A few stitches, etc. We are paying the bill of course.

This was ENTIRELY our fault; we let a situation happen and did not have control over her. Yes, it is somewhat of an understandable situation (big noisy truck, two scruffy looking unknown men, only "Mom" is present, etc.) but it is not acceptable.

Ever since this, my wife's family will not visit and constantly gives her grief. We have come to a point where, sadly, we need to part with Xena to have peace in the family.

This is not Xena's fault. It is ours. I try to make myself feel better in that at least she had a good home for five months. But, I know that it is still our fault.

I have a PDF ready to send to people who might be interested in providing a home for Xena. I am loathe to place an ad in the paper because of all the people who want a Rott for the wrong reasons.

I am feeling very reluctant to place Xena in another home because of this one incident (biting the truck guy) and the herding tendancy around visiting rambunctious children.

Here, finally, are my questions. Am I correct in feeling this reluctance? Or, if after full disclosure, we find a good prospect that still wants to own Xena, should I then feel "ok" about letting someone else adopt her? Are there legal issues with a prior owner (us) if something happens with a new owner?

Thanks,

John

[BostonRott]

That is a sad situation! I think if you found a home who accepted her after full disclosure, and you felt they were safe and apropriate, that there should be no problem.

[brunie's mom]

Welcome to the forums.

Please have your dog spayed ASAP!!!! Is there a reason that she has not been spayed???
Do not even think about giving her away or re-homing her until she is spayed..she will be used as a baby machine. The world does not need anymore poorly bred Rottweilers with questionable temperments.

After you have her spayed, enroll her into obedience classes. You did not say if she has had any formal obedience....but classes will help you build respect and a bond with her and the family. I would try to keep her in your home.

You must advise anyone that she is adopted to that she has bitten someone, and most Rottweiler Rescues will not want her because of the bite.

If you feel that with training and careful management you can control her then keep her.

Gina

[Judi W]

Just some off-hand comments that you can think about or not.

One of my dear old friends used to say "if you won't stick up for your dog, you don't deserve to have it". That means it is your decision, not the relatives, not friends, but yours. So, what if they decide they don't like your wife? Huh? (just me being a bit sarcastic, so excuse me for that please). If you want to keep her, just agree that when they come over you will confine her, and abide by that. It should be a perfectly valid compromise.

That being said, she sounds like a very good dog, that has just been improperly supervised. Having raised children and Rottweilers, I will say that any dog (especially with prey drive) should be confined if there are running squealing, screaming children. That is simple policy. Once set, it should not need to be thought about again. She is a dog of a guarding heritage and has not yet had obedience within your household to understand that it is not her place to guard when people are there making the decisions. I think this could easily be corrected.

As far as placing her is concerned, it is a problem at this time because now she has a bite history. Doesn't do one bit of good to accept responsibility, the bite history exists and does not disappear.

If you do decide to place her, you must not only disclose the bite incident, but get her spayed first prior to any other action. Should be done anyway.

Hope that helps give you some idea of what the options actually are.

[JohnSoPA]

Hi Gina. We are not sure why the prior owners did not have her spayed. She had a heat just after we got here so we were planning on have her spayed now. But, you are right, we should spay her before she goes to a new home.

Yes, she has had formal obedience training. We have been through that training too. She is very obedient (basic commands, etc.).

I believe that we can manage/control her, but unfortunately, we are beyond that since my in-laws have given the "dog goes or we go" ultimatum. I know it's our house, etc.

Either way, we are in bad shape. If Xena goes, we are heartbroken (and I will probably be worried for life); if she stays, we will have family strife for awhile (or longer).

:-(

[RottiMomCT]

So you are saying that if you keep the dog, have her spayed, enroll in obedience classes again and have a strict set of rules that the family living IN the house must abide by, that your inlaws say they'll never come to the house??

Sounds PERFECT to me (sorry, I LIVE WITH my inlaws)...

Seriously - you have taken responsibility for the bite, you know what must be done to ensure the safety of everyone, and your family says the dog has to go? If you family - meaning the ones IN the house, not the inlaws - are OK with the dog staying, and understand the rules, then the dog should stay - your inlaws are being selfish to a point, however, this was, from what you've described, an unprovoked bite.

Was this a private adoption or did she come from a rescue group? If a private adoption, can you contact her previous owner??

And YES, get her spayed ASAP...

[brunie's mom]

Glad that you are going to have her spayed either way.
It may also help with her aggressive behaviour...less tempermental without all of those hormones.

I agree with Judi...too bad if your in-laws do not like the dog...it's your home. Can you not just put the dog up when they come to visit? Build a run outside and keep her there for their visits? or even board her for the short times that they are over.

I would over my dead body give up my dog just 'cause someone that did not live there did not like them. Time to stand up for the dog and your family.

Gina

[StephanieandToby]

IMO...I would keep the dog and forget about the in-laws. They will come around eventually if they want to see the grandchildren.
Your extended family has to learn that they can't push you around....once children leave home/get married/have children/they are fully capable of making their own decisions.
There might not be Peace for awhile....but I'm sure they will cave in!

[JudyP]

I would keep the dog. If your family loves and cares about you... and they see all the good things you are doing, spaying, classes, etc. and how much the children, you and your wife love the dog... then they should RESPECT you and your choices...

Good Luck!! Please let us know how you do with Xena.
j

[Heidi B]

Yes, you should feel reluctant to find a new owner for your rottie. The behavior/ultimatum from your in-laws is unbelievable to me. I have to agree with others posting here that if you keep the dog and the in-laws stay away, that would be perfect! Your family obviously loves this dog and you are trying to do the right thing. As Judy says, if you spay, do obedience, and crate the dog when they visit, there's no reason why they should refuse to go to your home. My own personal belief, and what goes at my house, is love me and love my dog; no one would dare come between the two, or they know I would say Adios, and don't let the door hit you in the behind. That may sound harsh, but the fact is, the dog is my responsibility, and I won't tolerate outside interference. Just keep in mind it is your family, your dog, and your responsibility. Your in-laws are adding unnecessary complications.

take care, and best of luck!
Heidi

[alex221]

I'm curious, what does your wife think about her parents 'ultimatum'? Isn't she attached to the dog?

[Miabella]

I had to chuckle when I read this thread because I imagined the exchange that would take place if my in-laws or even my own parents gave me this kind of ultimatum. Let's just say they would be told in no uncertain terms to mind their own bee's wax.

Anyway, I agree with Judi that some consistent leadership and training coupled with sensible management should do the trick. I bet my dog would be capable of the same thing if given the chance. Now you just have to decide if you are willing to do the work to keep her or if you are just using your in-laws as a convenient excuse to be rid of her.

[Judi W]

And the truth is, if the spouse is reluctant to keep the dog, then indeed she should go elsewhere. It very well might be that riding herd on 3 young children she doesn't want to have to ride herd on a dog as well and there should be no blame attached to feeling that way. Keeping track of youngsters and then feeling like one has to know where the dog is and what she is doing might just be a bit much for someone who had not bargained for that added responsibility.

Just do make sure she is spayed before she leaves home or her future life will most likely not be a good one.

[Bucky's Mom]

Originally Posted by JohnSoPA

My wife and I have three children (8, 6 and 3 yrs old). ..........Xena has adjusted wonderfully to our family. We have a lot of land (5+ acres in the middle of 400 acres of woods and pasture). Xena loves the openness.

.............Ever since this, my wife's family will not visit and constantly gives her grief.

Since YOU are your wife's husband (obviously) tell them to knock it off.

And BTW do your children know that Grandma and Grandpa think it is more important to perform emotional blackmail on their own daughter than it is to visit with them?

And then there will be the lovely task of explaining to your children how in order to see their grandparents they have to give away their dog (or whatever the NEXT thing in your house is that the in-laws don't like)

I say keep the dog - stand up to the in-laws - and show your wife that you will not tolerate her being given grief by anyone - including her parents - and show your children that loyalty to a pet is for a lifetime

[Miabella]

That is a good point, if it is really the WIFE who wants the dog gone, then the dog should find a new home. It may be that she just doesn't want to admit it, and she's using her parents as a scapegoat. Hmmm.