Nina is ignoring me!

[Debidoozer]

Hey all...
Hope you can give me some great ideas here. Nina seems to have been ignoring me for the past few days :( . I can't for the life of me figure out what's going on with her. She grumbles a lot when I pet her or hug her. My husband has been trying to be more dominant (before the last week or so he was letting her get away with everything, eat things, etc where I was the one who would stick my hands in her mouth to remove dirt, rocks, etc. and I was always doing the training (sit, stay, down, etc). Could the fact that he's being more dominant with her make her want to be his shadow - always following him and trying to play with him? I understand that some dogs will see one member of the household as the alpha, but I am having trouble with her ignoring me. It used to be every morning when we woke up she would run over, knock me down, sit on me and cover me with kisses. This morning, I barely got a lick before she was looking my husband.

Yes I am probably being a little over sensitive here, but just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation and is there anything I can do to get her to realize I'm still here too :) ? I'm going to try and play with her a lot today and do some more basic training.

Thanks!!
Debi

[Judi W]

Debi,
I had to search your other posts to get information on Nina.
Who is Nina? In other words, how old is she? Is she a baby or an older girl? If she is older how much training has she got? If you'll include that information when you post it will make things so much easier.

If she is not in formal training, you need to get her there and that will solve any disrespect. It is not that you cannot teach sit and down by yourself, but being in a class makes you tighten up and do it right which benefits both you and the dog.

What do you mean by ignoring you? Is she ignoring your commands? Do you feel ignored because of the offering of affection? You have probably guessed it somewhat correctly as a dog will suck up to the person they preceive as superior, however if she is disrespecting you and your instructions, that indicates that she thinks not only that he is superior, it might be that she has demoted you to below her.

She should not be grumbling when you pet her. Grumbling with "hugs" is understandable. Few dogs consider hugs a treat and as they get older they feel freer to express that they don't like it. Hug your husband, train the dog. These dogs tend to love and admire the person who trains them and now that she is no longer an infant, her training needs to progress to more demanding and adventuresome things. When going for your walks, put in some training along the way so the walks are a combination of adventure and learning. Don't use commands informally, but when you do use them, make sure she responds promptly. If she is blowing off your instruction, take her by the collar and enforce them. Do not worry about the affection business. It is not a contest as to who she likes best but making sure she knows her place.

[Leader]

Judi,
I just love it :D You always say it in a nut shell....and it is always just perfect.

Hug your husband, train the dog.

Thanks for the giggle :p

Leader

[Debidoozer]

Nina is just over 6 months. Yes we JUST started obedience class last week. We didn't bring her to the first class, so she'll go to the next one. My husband (Josh) is doing the training with her, which is why he has recently stepped up a bit with the basic training at home. Once we really get going with the classes, would it be appropriate for me to follow up at home with what they did in the class or should I let it to Josh? I don't want Nina to be confused - is it common for them to really follow the commands of one owner and not so much the other owner? Or if we're both persistant should she really respond to both of our commands equally?

Things seem better today. It was more than just the affection I was feeling frustrated about, it is definitely her not listening to me when I say "sit" or "come" or whatever the situation has been when she was not listening to me. She gets distracted and excitable very easily (which I absolutely know is puppy behavior), but if in a situation where she needs to listen and obey, I don't want to be ignored, especially if she is being aggressive towards me or anyone else whether we're outside or in our home for that matter.

I guess the word "hug" would seem like I am grabbing her and holding her toghtly - not what I meant by that. But I definitely understand what you mean. Thanks for the 'hug your husband' line and the advice. I appreciate your response.

:)

Debi

[Judi W]

I don't see any reason why you both cannot work with her although I think it is usually easier for the beginning dog if one person does the formal training.

As far as commands go, I always tell students to have informal language and then the formal command language. The secret with the formal command language (come, sit, down, etc) is not to ever lie to your dog. Formal commands mean do it right now with no second command words. That means you should not use those words unless you are in a position to see that they are carried out. Usually that means your hand on the collar or close to it, or a leash on the dog. If you say sit more than once, you are lying to the dog be indicating that you didn't really mean it and that she can ignore the word or respond when she gets around to it if ever. That is why you must have physical control position prior to using commands. You do not want to devalue the command words. My informal language might be something like "common in now" or "I want you to get back". Those words are offering instruction but without the formality of commands.

The "especially if she is being aggressive.........." concerns me. Why in the world would she be aggessive? If she is acting aggressive I'd put the leash and collar on her and do some serious work. She is not going to get any smaller or younger. Have you raised this girl from little? It is one thing to be willful, but something else entirely to be aggressive at that age.