[Therin]

It will have been one year this february since I lost my most loyal friend and companion. His name was Cody and not a day goes by I don't think of him. I'm 22 and he had been with me since age 12. We went everywhere together, and I cherish those memories. It's real lonely at the house now, with noone to greet me at the door after work or share pizza crust with. His food bowl, rope(favorite toy), and leash sit in the kitchen where they always have, i don't have the heart to put them away somewhere. My eyes tear evertime I walk by and look at them. I have had many pets but he was so much more.
Cody was approx. 1 year when we got him and a more even tempered dog I have yet to come across. He had a protective nature but was the gentlest dog around toddlers...letting my nieces and cousins poke and prod and even ride him(always with someone to steady them so they wouldn't fall off). The last week of his life was one of the worst of mine also. He was active at 10+ still playing rope and fetch. His brown coloring had gone almost completely grey. Last Feb. after work I came home as usual and went to the gate to let him in. Normally just hearing me pull up he would be waiting at the gate, but I called and called and no Cody. He never tried to get out so I began looking through the back yard,... and found him laying in his favorite spot(right below my bedroom window). I knew something wasn't right, he wouldn't get up. He had arthritis so I figured he was just sore so I brought him his food and water, but he wouldn't eat just drank alittle water. He didn't seem to be in great pain so I let him be and on the second day he was walking again(seemed to be with great effort and his rear legs didn't seem to want to cooperate), yet that night he came inside and played rope and slept in his usual spot. I hoped he had just hurt his hips or something and was going to be better. He still refused to eat, even the steak I cooked for him. I knew what i had to do but wasn't willing to give up yet. The third day I promised that if not better by the time I got home we would make the trip...
He wasn't better when I got home, but didn't seem in any real pain. I couldn't take him that night, I just couldn't....if he was playing just a day before I wasn't going to give up. That thrid day he refused to eat drink or move...I spent most of that night lying on the floor next to him telling him what a good dog he was. On that fourth morning I got my father to help me load him in the car, he wouldn't move at all. I knew I was doing the right thing yet I felt as if I were betraying him. The vet said he thought Cody had a series of strokes. His blood pressure was so low the vet had to try three times to get a vien. My once 115+ Rott was down to 93 pounds. He percked up at the vets(never liking such places) which made things even harder for me. I held him in my arms as he was injected and that look of release will forever be in my memories. I don't think I let go of him for five minutes after. I am not a very emotional person but I felt as if I had lost a brother and cried like it.
I hurt so bad I swore I would never have another Rott to save myself from the pain,... yet I realize now that if I keep that promise I will never feel that love and devotion either. It's been a rough year since...I haven't been the same person, irritable, uncaring, mildly depressed. I think I am ready to move on now. I am looking for another rottweiler puppy, to fill the hole in my heart my departed compainion has left....is this wrong? I hope not.
To all those who have lost their friend I hope they are all playing rope and kill the basketball, happy and content as they wait at the rainbow bridge..... :(