[Marley55]

Hello All,
I am glad to hear Sophie, Nina and Ansel are still doing as well as can be expected. I stop by and check on everyone now and then, but it has been so painful for me I had to stop reading the threads for a bit because I would end up in tears for hours.

April, I totally understand you saying you are exhausted from the daily care, meds, etc etc.

I did not realize until after we let Jaxx go just how tired I really was. I have been sick non-stop for the past 2 weeks and when I finally broke down and saw the DR he looked at me with amazement after I finished spilling out everything that had happened. I too prayed that Jaxx would pass in his sleep and then felt guilt for doing so. Then I tried to convince myself that it would be so much better then taking him to be PTS but myself was not buying that either. So much stress and heartbreak all in such a short time frame just wore me down.

I miss him so much every day and probably 1,000 times a day I tell myself he is in a better place and is not in any pain, but then sneaky selfish voice pops up and says " I WANT HIM HERE WITH ME". Mark is a firefighter/medic and was recently on a call where several children were badly hurt and burned. As he was trying to work through that and seeing the dept. physiologist he mentioned how hurt he was by what happened to Jaxx. She told him that the loss of a pet was the 3rd most traumatic event in our lives after death of a family member and divorce and that she offers pet grief counseling on a regular basis. I suppose in an odd way that may me feeling so bad a bit more bearable, since at times I felt almost irrational

Please hug Ansel, Sophie and Nina for me and know that they will be in great company when they are ready to make the journey.
I hold you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care
Marley