[aprillovesherdogs]

Hi all.
My Ansel is hanging in there. He had a bad couple of days because he was not taking his meds. His appetite is still normal but he caught on to the cheeseball trick. I wasn't keeping a close eye on him and he was spitting his pills out. I now hand feed him the treats loaded with pills and he is doing better. He had a few nights of whiny on and off sleep but now is sleeping fine again. He just has trouble walking. His back end is very weak. He can still toilet himself ok (no more leg lifting) and get out without hands on support. I follow him around though just to help prevent falls. His 11th birthday will be officially July . I am sure he was probably born in mid to late June but I just chose July 1 for documentations sake. Everyone has always teased him about being such a lazy dog. Even as a youngster, he was very subdued. I think that is why he has lived a long life. With him not being able to get around good now, it is no big deal to him. After his two ACL repairs in 2000/2001, he did great and didn't have any problems until the week Matty died. Now it all seems to have caught up with him.

I sat outside with him yesterday and couldn't hold back the tears. I know it won't be long, before he's gone too. The daily stress of doing all the meds, watching him closely and just trying to absorb every feel, expression and smell of him is exhausting me. I feel so guilty sometimes when I pray that he will pass quietly in his sleep soon so that this heartbreaking time will end and I can start to recover. But when I look at that beautiful face I can't bear the thought of not seeing him. He is everything that is perfect and wonderful to me. He was my rock when I went through some terrible times in my life but I am never reminded of them when I look at him. All I see are the road trips he and I would make, trips to the local beach, the walks, etc. When it was just the two of us, we had some super times. We have still had them since the husband and kids and other dogs came along, but my fondest memories are of the two of us.

I hope this has been a week of healing of hearts for you Laurie and Marley. Sharing your losses with us has been such a help to me. Thank you.

Take care all and please keep Ansel in your thoughts.

April