[lucasmom]

Hello my dear rottie friends-
I am sorry that I have not been on the thread for a couple of days. I have had to sort things out in my head and spend some time on my knees asking the Lord for guidance. I guess since I have been gone there have been some really heated debates that are indeed quite disturbing. If I may, I would like to share some of my soul searching with each of you and you can either ignore it, learn from it, or get off this thread!

Firstly, let me share something very personal with each of you. I have been taking care of human patients as a nurse practitioner for over 30 years. I have lamented at the bedsides of more dying patients than I care to think of. And....as hard as it is, I have felt honored to be present at the last breath of many people with their loved ones loyally at their side. When our loved ones are dying, whether it be a human or an animal, a part of us dies with them. We are never the same, and believe it or not, those of us who have experienced loss first hand on a frequent basis, actually grow to be better, more compassionate people, who know how to be sensitive to others needs...especially during those times when we don't really know "what" to say. I have found through the years that oftentimes it is best to not say much, or give my opinion, or even try to help with what I think is "wisdom".

Moondog...I don't know you and I certainly don''t want to say anything unkind because I know deep down you are trying to help us and our dogs with your "wisdom" and years of experience. However, now is NOT THE TIME to be "putting salt in the wound" of those of us who are suffering greatly at this time. We love our dogs, as I am sure you loved your dear dog "Luna". I looked at her pictures on your profile and she was a beautiful little girl. I am sorry for your loss. YOU treated her the best way YOU knew best and you have to trust us that we are doing what we think is best for our baby dogs as well. No...we may not always be correct, or acting according to the "textbook clinical practice guidelines", but I can assure you that every person who is on this thread who is currently losing their dog to OS or has recently lost their dog to OS is doing EXACTLY what they think is best for THEIR dog.

With that said, my dear Lucas will more than likely be PTS tomorrow at 4:30 pm. He is still having nosebleeds and my vet feels that the time has come. He tentatively has an appointment at that time and if, after he is evaluated tomorrow, is deemed to be at the end stages of OS, my vet will put him down.

Lastly, I believe that God will give me the courage and the true wisdom I need to do the right thing. Only I can decide, along with wisdom that comes from above, whether Lucas needs to go to Heaven tomorrow. I will feel it in my heart....just like I have felt it so many times with my patients.

Good night my friends. I pray that you rest well and that your dogs have a peaceful night as well. Laurie