Thanks so much everybody!! I wish I could say that it's getting easier now,
buuuut not so much...........at least not yet.
So I picked up Xena today!! Well, her cremains anyway, as they call it...
But she is back at home where she belongs, which is exactly where she will stay for the rest of
my natural life!! I actually feel a
little better just knowing she's here with me again. There's just a little less emptiness in the house now. I have 2-candles lit, one on either side of the temporary urn they provided, been like that all night. Tomorrow will be a week already!! I will have them lit tomorrow night as well.
When I picked her up, it was kind of surreal.....they handed her to me in a nice sort of 'gift bag', which is all it was to me at first......until, of course, I picked it up. She's still kinda' heavy!! It was rather surprising, as I expected there to not be much weight involved at this stage of the game. But her weight really made it all feel so real again. When I left the cemetary office I walked over to this nice waterfall landscape they had with a statue on top, surrounded by green grass & nice plantings. I totally lost it............so I hung out there for about 10-mintues admiring the beauty of the whole thing, then when I was finally able to re-gain my composure, I got in my truck & drove home crying. (Never realized how hard that was to do.........)
When I got home I un-packed her & put her in her new place on my bookshelf. Then I went through the rest of the bag and found the hair clippings I had requested.......both the black
AND tan!! (I was so worried they were going to forget!!) Seeing the hair really made me feel it again.....very heavy this time.......That was the hardest part of this day.
Anyway, time for bed. Tomorrow is her first 'anniversary'..................
MK