Well then DH has had an epiphanal moment. No harm in that. Boris will forget. And your husband will remember.
My girls are pretty tolerant. I'm glad, actually. And it's not so much tolerant with hugging as it is tolerance with roughing up the head and neck area. They seem to like that.
But they do have an idea of how close is comfortable for them... with adults they know. Sable will pull away. She will leave, if her message is not received. Raven turns her head away. That's her sign. Then, she'll move a bit, and pull away as well.
We have 2 year olds in the family and a new baby. What amazes me is how they "know" these are children. Just as they would comply with puppy friskiness. Now, my neices don't "bother" the dogs, nor would they be allowed. They're far more interested in playing. But they do share their toys with them and prop themselves against them to watch Sesame Street. I've seen both girls kiss the top of their heads. I've see the dogs, if left out of the cartoon watching, go to them.
Yet, even with the children...the R-E-S-P-E-C-T is there. Just as you say. They accomodate the children because they're small, but also because the children are respectful. It's a barely perceptable communication between them, but it's there.
The adults they know also respect. The dog turns the head or pulls away, they can see it's too much and stop. Your husband didn't see what you saw. It means we should know our dogs, too. Look for signs of stress. One has to hear what another sees obvious, even with dogs we know well.