[Lefty]

This is so hard, I’ve lost my shadow.

I'm finally just now able to post here about it, it's been difficult.

We lost Bullet on December 11th in the evening. For the past couple of months we’ve been dealing with some health issues with him. After full blood panels he had become anemic and he had problems keeping food down and very lethargic. Most days were good, some not so good.

When I left that morning for work Bullet was doing ok. When I came home from work Bullet was lying on the floor and couldn’t get up. He had thrown up his food and was breathing very weird and he didn’t wiggle his bum for me. I called our vet and he said to bring him in even though they were closing.

He had warmed up the ultra sound and was waiting for us. Not good news. His spleen was huge with a massive growth in it and some bleeding into the abdomen, a growth on his liver and another on his pancreas; he was not going to get better. I just cried as I held him.

Our vet got him ready to go and my husband and I walked into the room to where Bullet was. He looked up and gave me a bum wiggle and gave me kisses. I held him in my arms and talked to him as he laid his head down and went to sleep. My voice was the last thing he heard. Bullet went very peacefully.

A big part of me died on that table with him. It just still hurts so much.


Bear with me as I remember...when Bullet came into the SPCA where I volunteer at all he did was lay at the back of his kennel. The volunteers were afraid to walk him so I took him out. I snapped a leash on him and said come, Bullet followed by my left side. I walked him through the trails and down to the field for a walk. As I watched him next to me I could see that he was unsure of himself and the situation.

I walked us over to a bench and I sat down, Bullet stood a few feet in front of me not knowing what to do. I told him to sit and he did, he watched me. He hesitantly put up a paw. I crouched down off the bench and smiled and open my arms wide. Bullet rushed into my arms and laid his head on my shoulder and sighed. I held him and talked to him until he backed up and kissed me on the face. I told him lets go for a walk and we moved on, this time there was a spring in his step. Bullet came home with us shortly afterwards.

He was the best friend that I could ever ask for, my clown, my protector, my confident and so much more. We were so very lucky to have him in our lives for 6 1/2 years.

Rest well my soul mate dog, you will always be in my heart until we meet again. I will always love you.