[Debbie Ervin]

I know just how you feel again.. I too am having a very hard time getting over Ceasars death. I have written so much on this network I guess as a campain or something to try to help others and to make myself feel better. I have also posted on the Rottweiler Health Foundation Ceasars story and 3 years ago Thors story. It is a network that by posting their story you can help others who are facing the same things. Ours dogs illnesses and how medically they were treated and how couragous they were till the end. I also put both my boys in a Memorial Registry in the site and donated to them. This way others can see their stories and pictures and know what really GREAT dogs they were. I am trying I guess to do things to keep them alive to others. I have gathered so many pictures from my boxes and I have several family photo albums that I can look at for hours on end. I have a special photo album that I want to make up and still can't bring myself to do it. I can just sit and look at that beautiful face so full of life and cry my eyes out...... The picture was beautiful of Max with your child. I can only say I KNOW and we feel the same way here. My mom had Ceasar so spoiled, that each time he went out he got 2 treats when he came in. He knew how to count!!!! He would not leave without the second treat. Just the little things and so many of them we remember. Me and Ceasar would sit on the deck and he would lay down and I'd brush him and play with his ear it was so peaceful. I found this poem on this site someone put on and I actually typed it out and gave it to several people including the girls and our vet at the hospital. Its called:
May I go?
May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say good bye to pain filled days
and endless lonley nites?
I lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can't I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at f i rst,
I fought with all my might
but something seems to draw me now
to a warm and living light.
I want to go, I really do,
Its difficult to stay
but I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears
I know your sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
whereever you may go
Thank you so for loving me
you know I love you too,
thats why its hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me
you'll let me go today. Author: Susan A Jackson

I have Ceasars picture right at my bedside and a picture of me,Thor and Ceasar next to that one. I have my rosary beads around them. Its very hard I know to say goodbye to any family member and especially when we have to make the decission. But I have learned I think that by doing this we are not letting them suffer in pain and agony. Believe me, I am sure you as I did EVERYTHING humanly possible, but when my vet told me Ceasar was tired, it was a nice way of telling me, we have to stop because he is going to suffer now. I had to let him go as you did Max. My heart is where yours is, Sincerely, Debbie and family