[royalarrival]

Since October 31, 2007 my world has been upside down. I question myself if I am dreaming. How can my Daisy be gone.

I remember the day her name called out to me.

Spring of 2001 we lost our Rotti/Lab cross to a hit in run. It happened infront of my husband and the neighborhood kids. The police took a report that printed in the newspaper. A women that had a litter of Rotties called my husband to offer the pick of the litter for free. My husband wanted my tears and pain to end. Two weeks after the loss of Blue, my husband dragged me to see the pups. I remember telling him over and over again "all pups are take home cute" and that I wanted my Blue back. I made it clear we were not going to bring a pup home. I sat on the floor with a large litter of pups. All girls except one boy. The lady told us the boy has an umbilical hernia and would be going to a relative to ensure proper treatment. I can tell my husband wanted the boy. I was thinking of Blue. I played with the pups while the lady and my husband talked about the individual pups info. The lady named all the pups for record purposes and stated we could rename the pup we pick. I felt bad for taking up her time because I wanted blue and was sure to walk out empty handed. Then I heard her say "Daisy". My back was to her at the time. Something about that name. It called to me. I turned around and asked her which one was Daisy. (I know you should pick a pup by looks, temperment, genetics and all that stuff) I remember the ride home holding Daisy in my hands. She was so small and cute as a button. She didn't stay small for long. When she was about 5 months old I noticed a lump on her belly button. She had a small umbilical hernia. We had it repaired when she was spayed.

We graduated 3 levels of obedience. She won 3 trophies as a local fun show. What made her special had nothing to do with those accomplishments. It was the crowd she would drawl at the playground. She loved to play on the junglegym. Latters, slides, tubes was no challenge for her. It was the dressing up for Halloween with my Daughters to go trick r treating. She was my right hand gal to help keep an eye on my Daughters in public. When they were toddlers, she would warn me if one or both were straying to far. Her love noises she made when we snuggled on the couch. She would back up to the curtains to massage her butt...lol. It was as if a semi truck backing up to the dock. She loved to sing with the girls and I. She was comical yet noble. She had moments of stubborness but was always loyal. She went everywhere I went. She was completely dependable.

Daisy would have turned 7 on February 21, 2008. Immune-mediated Disease cut her life short. But it was just a limp! Who would have thought a limp could turn into a life threatening situation. We still are not sure what kind of Immune Disease she suffered. She showed multiply signs of different kinds of immune diseases. Nothing was text book about her situation. She survived for 3 weeks after being diagnosed. She had good days, but mostly bad days. Complications with treatments followed by "I think we are going to get through this" came to a hault when she stopped eating all together. She cried while hiding under the bed or behind the recyliner. If there is a empty bed or chair Daisy is in it. I knew a decision was going to have to be made.
The day she passed the vet said she was anemic. She lost 3.2 pound in 7 days. (She was 85 pounds in May and past away at 63 pound) The vet predicted the immune disease was attacking her bone marrow. I held her head in my arms and kissed her. Daisy made a love noise as she closed her eyes and went to sleep.

For the past two weeks I have been trying to comes to terms with this. I feel like I am in a dream. I will wake up and she will be there. I feel she is all around me. Daisy isn't gone! I think to myself. Yet as I lay on the couch her body is not at my feet. When it is time to let her out to potty she isn't there to walk out the door. No goofy dance when it is time to eat. When those moments happen I make myself think and do something different to escape the pain.

Today I had to pick up Daisy's remains. Her beautiful urn sits on my table forcing me to deal with her death. All that is left of my beautiful Daisy is the memories.