[chivas]

I have dreams of Chivas often. In some of the dreams she still has the cancer and I am despertly looking for a cure. The dreams are upsetting and tramatic, I often wake up in tears. I wonder if its because deep down I feel I failed her in treating her cancer. Other times I dream of her before the cancer, well, strong and playing ball with me, they are most often a few days after the upsetting dreams. I believe those dreams are HER coming back to tell me that I did GOOD, that its OK and that she loves me and is waiting for me. I also at times hear her sigh, once I saw a black shadow in the other room when I walked by when I turned to look again, it was gone.