[Missypup]

Guilty....that is the first thing I need to say. I had to make the decision and I held her life in my hands. I gave the ok to let her go. He said that there was nothing that can be done. She was too big to amputate and it was spreading up her leg so fast...(osteosarcoma) I feel so empty and sad. GUILTY that maybe there could have been something.

I couldn't bring her home knowing she had cancer and that I would have to put her down eventually. She was suffering and getting worse by the hour. My poor baby is gone. She was the one that comforted me and loved me unconditionally through the loss of my husband. When people would ask if it was hard to come home alone...I said no I have my baby Missy. She would jump up and greet me at the door with her stub wagging...I would grab her squishy head, kiss her between the eyes and give her cheeks a squeeze.

Last night I went to bed alone....no sounds of my baby snoring away, or hearing her having a dream. I woke up this morning and just started bawling. I yelled out morning baby....nothing happened. When I went to the kitchen to make coffee....she was not there waiting to be let out and fed.

I feel so empty without her. I am so sad. I know I did the best thing for her, but I feel so alone.