[my2rotties]

I have been away from the forums for a very long time now. I have been so busy with life, and especially my dogs. My little man Damian, has slowly been faltering since Sheena's death in early 2000. I thought he was going to be okay. We have been to the vets a dozen or more times for accupuncture and xrays. He was coming around so well, but in these final two weeks, he just was not thriving at all.

Last Saturday, we went and had more xrays done, and finally saw it, the dreaded osteosarcoma that took our Sheena's life. We decided to do pain management, and for ten days, we watched him even decline more. Frank and I took all the love and courage we could muster up, and brought him to the vet for his final journey. Our new vets are fantastic, and he went so quietly and peacefully, lying on his baby blanket that I brought him home in as a five week old puppy... What I would not do to have those good old days back.

Damian was my first Rottie, and he was born bi laterally deaf. I learned so much about how to communicate with animals, because of him. Frank and I had such a special bond with him, and he was always there for us. He was not a champion, but he was the champion of our hearts and our souls. I could never imagine my life without him. Now this morning, when I came downstairs, he was not there waiting for me on the couch. He followed me every where, and now I do not hear him walking in my shadow anymore. I remember talking to Barbara about him, and how he always liked to walk behind us, but did not know why. She said the most incredible thing. She said he probably herding us, like we were his little flock of sheep. I will never forget this comment, and know that is exactly what he was doing. Thank you saying this Barbara, it gives me comfort all these months later.

I always said that Sheena was my soul mate dog, but Damian was my heart dog. I know that he loved me more then anyone on this planet ever could and will. He never took his eyes off of me, and when they closed forever yesterday, I suddenly felt so alone. Damian was such a peaceful and quiet little soul, but you could have never asked for a more loving and loyal dog. I could always feel his prescence, and now that it is not here anymore, I don't know quite what to do with myself. I think that I am still in shock, and am afraid of how I will react when the force of all of this finally catches up. I loved him (still do) more then I could understand, he was always there.

He came into my life when I was just nineteen years old, and left me while I am thirty. I had him before my husband, my house and before my adult life. I don't know what I will do without him. He was just always there for me, never taking his eyes off of me for a second. He may have been deaf, but he still had that undying heart, soul, and courage that a Rottie has. I love this breed, and loved this dog, more then many can understand. He was the best of the best, and my life will be so empty without him. I really wish that there could be another way to free them of their pain other then death. Frank and I never thought we could ever go through with euthanizing any of our dogs, and are so amazed that we were able to go through with it. I know we did that last kind thing to show how much we love and appreciate our little old man. As broken hearted as I am to be without him, I know it would hurt me more to see him struggle anymore. His body was failing around him, but his spirit stayed the same. I just wish he could have had just one day to be young and happy again. He was such a great agility dog, and would have done anything for me. I know I did the same for him.

I love you my little man, I really hope that you are with Grump now, free from any pain and suffering. I really hope that there is a better place for you, and wish I knew you were there for sure.

Damian- March 24, 1991- October 16, 2001

May you rest in peace my faithful friend, you deserve it more then anyone else I know. I love you Boogs, and thank you for the many years of unconditional love, patience and understnding that you have given me. I wish it could have been longer, and tried the best I could to give you that quality of life that you deserved. I am thinking of you, and missing your prescence here with me.