BahCan,
I am sitting here trying to type through the tears, as I read your post and it broke my heart! Mt deepest sympathies for your loss!!
I cannot image what you are going through, as I have not gone through it, but I can only imagine as I sit here watching my two playing. I am SO SORRY and wish there were words to say to make you feel better, but I don't.
Again...I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts today. xo's
KathyB777