You are not alone. I had "weird" Toby dreams as well....I was also searching for him.....in my dream I had tied him up outside of a Safeway (not that I would in real life...
)...and he was stolen by street people.
I woke up sick and panicky. The dreams are hard.
It's been a year and a half and it DOES get better. I never thought it would...but it did. I hope it gets better for you, too!