Sorry your dogs are sick.
I also understand that "never get another dog" feeling, I've had it every time a pet dies. It was quite a few years after my last dog died before I felt able to have another, but you know...you meet the right dog, you smell puppy breath, something always seems to happen to remind me that the pain of losing them is a very small price to pay for the joy of living with them. Their lifespans are shorter than ours, knowing this ahead of time can be useful, in order to make us treasure the time we DO have all the more.