| God Bless Stanzi, she has gone to the rainbow bridge
September 4, 1994-June 22, 2005 Stanzi was here with us for almost 11 years (I think of her as my 11 year old). I had hoped to never be here writing this, but she is now gone. It was so sudden, and it hurts so much, I don't even know what to do. The house is so quiet without her, my shadow. I was her mom, and she followed me everywhere. I know it sounds greedy, but I wanted her to live to be 100, still be walking and in good health.
She was my first dog, and the first dog I've ever had to put to sleep. It was the right thing to do, I'm not doubting that. She collapsed and couldn't walk, and the emergency vet found a tumor the size of a softball on her spleen. All of the fluid indicated internal bleeding. Although I selfishly wanted to keep her alive and try everything, putting her through all kinds of medical procedures would have been cruel to her. Based on everything the vet could see, it appeared to be cancerous, so whether it was hemangioma (benign) or a hemangiosarcoma (cancerous), the prognosis was terrible either way. She was crashing in a big way, and it was like she was already gone. I spent lots of time with her in the vet's office and they did everything they could to make her comfortable. Easing her suffering was a very hard decision for me to make, but the only fair one. She was my perfectly perfect girl, and I will miss her terribly.  |